Overwhelmed...And Loving It

Anybody who has been following this blog knows that life around the Morgan household has been anything but normal lately. Sadly, the stress is starting to affect the kids in ways I never imagined. Not to mention what it is doing to the mommy (by the way, I love talking in third person...it makes me feel special). That is probably the reason why I have been sticking so closely to the Random Thoughts, rather than expounding on anything.

Two nights ago, I just laid in my bed and cried. I don't do that. And I really never tell anyone. So why the heck am I now? Well, because with all of the crazy, there is always something interesting going on. I felt better after my little tear-fest, and starting seeing things a little more clearly. So, why not share some of the highs and lows.

WARNING

**I already know I'm crazy, don't feel the need to point it out. I also know that some of the content that will be forthcoming may be cause for release from church callings...do what you gotta do.**

So as I begin the Tale of Two Personalities, I need an analogy to represent the crazy. It is like moving from swing to swing as a trapeze artist, knowing there is no net. Wait, I wouldn't be caught dead in one of those outfits. How about Tarzan swinging from vine to vine. You know, I don't have any upper body strength, that could be a bigger disaster than I had planned for. Alright, how about going from shoe store to shoe store, finally finding the perfect shoe only to find out that they didn't have your size. Oooooooohhhhhh, I like that one. But I don't think it applies to my life right now, but I really could use some new shoes. I'll get on that later.

We last left off the SAGA of the WUTT a little over a week ago. Since then, we have confirmed that Autonomic Dysfunction with two doctors. Groovy... At least the doctors are talking to me, and I don't feel like I am totally in the dark. We are still on anti-biotics to cover the bases with the infection. We are now having a wonderful time weaning off of Lortab. 7 year old addicts...not so fun. Okay, she isn't really an addict, but she did rely on the Lortab for a little bit of comfort.

We got a fabulous description of what she was going through yesterday. Here goes: It is like having your pain threshold put down to zero and having to start over. It is as if she had never experienced pain before and her body needs time to re-learn the sensation.

This is what I have learned:
1. Her feet are going to swell off and on...weird, but okay.
2. Don't touch her when she isn't expecting it...ooooohhhhhh scary.
3. Autonomic is very volatile. It is going to come and go, like really, really fast.
4. Her brain likes to over-react to darn near everything. If you need proof, check out the bug bite on her arm.

Okay, now that all of the medical mumbo-jumbo is over, we can move on to some of our other crazy.

I have yet to find a way to make the kids understand that she isn't faking. It does kind of look like it sometimes because of the things Baylee can do when she is having a good moment. Unfortunately, those moments only last so long. It can take hours, minutes and even seconds to move from good to bad or vice-versa. Needless to say, there is some MAJOR animosity going on. Even more than the usual, which I thought was pretty impossible. Now I know.

Now is my time to gush. Savannah has done a wonderful job helping me out with the wonderful things that have needed to be done. She has even gotten mad at her siblings (sibs) for asking me to do things for them. I don't know how to react to her being so protective of me, but I had to make sure this was in writing with a time stamp so I can prove to her it really happened, you know, for the next time I did something wrong.

Noah has really, really struggled with this. He is such a sweet boy, with such a wonderful sense of humor, but as will all things there is opposition. He has a dark side. It is very Star Warsy. I think the basis of his issue is that he and Baylee are so close in age, and he has his own health troubles...but nothing like this. He is really trying to find out how this all works. It is hard to look at him and remember that he is only 8. Really, one of the positives that has come out of this is the fact that he is learning it's okay to hug your mom. I was even at the school the other day, he saw me and yelled out in front of all of his class mates, "Mom, Mom...I love you..." It was one of the sweetest moments we have ever shared.

Caleb, well, thank goodness Caleb is in a fairly mellow mood right now. That kid is a kick in the pants. I mean, really, how many three year olds do you know that will tell you that you are the stinky kid? Or point out, with no guile, that you have a bigger butt, excuse me, a bigger wutt than he does. He is all about accepting reality for what it really is. YAY CALEB...and yes, the bigger wutt comment did have something to do with the messy breakup with my refrigerator.

Now that we have managed a short, yeah right, recap. I'll fill you in on yesterday. Yesterday was just plain an interesting day. Especially since it started on Wednesday night.

I was doing something...yes something, I don't even remember what I did five minutes ago...so just roll with me okay. As I was saying, I was doing something when Baylee came to show me the bug bite on her arm. It was just teeny, so I figured a quick hug would solve all of the problems. And for a switch, it did. I went back to catching up with all of my blog reading when a blood curdling scream from the other room sent the mommy into action. I run into the bathroom to find Baylee alternately screaming and sobbing. As I start screaming "What's wrong? What's wrong?" She holds her foot up where a beautiful and sparkly B earring is lodged into her heel. I had to rip that sucker out...it was in gooooooooooood. Then for a brief moment I had to reflect on what a travesty of justice it had to be to have your own earring do that to you. I mean, you could seriously get torqued at someone else for leaving their earrings laying around...but to have your own earring...oh the betrayal.

So yesterday, our day started at 6:00 am with piano lessons. I actually like having lessons that early, other than being tired, you really do have more time for yourself. Baylee and I get home from lessons at about 7:40, just in time for the mad dash of getting everyone up, dressed, fed and out the door to school. One we drop everyone off, Baylee and I head to physical therapy. On the way to PT, Baylee point out her bug bite which has gone from being a pin head (no you pinhead...a pin head...see the diff?), to a four inch by 6 inch swollen red patch on her arm. We call the doctor, get an appointment, and then realize that there is no way I can drive preschool carpool.

I really appreciated the staff at therapy that day. They set it up so she could have more time in the heated pool to just play. Being in the warm pool does so much for Baylee's attitude. It is the one time during the week, she can really move with less pain. It rocks. And while she was in the pool, I was able to make phone calls to arrange for someone else to drive carpool for me. And the angel that did, even offered to keep Caleb until we were done.

After therapy, we got to hang out with grandma and grandpa for a bit so I could print out the application for the Handicap placard for our cars. I still can't believe that we are at the point that has become necessary. It is a very surreal and emotional place for me.

As we are driving to the doctors office, I realize how swollen her toes happen to be on that day. Yikes...I really hope this doesn't have anything to do with the bug bite....that could be bad. Fortunately, the toes are not related to the bug bite. But they are related to the Autonomic Dysfunction. Again the brain has gone to a completely random place, just because it felt like it. Okey dokey smokey.

On our way home from the doctor, we stop at the pharmacy for more prescriptions...oy vey. Seriously, how many more drugs are out there that we haven't tried...you know what, never mind...I don't want to know. We pick up Bub, head home and have lunch. Then we head to school for carpool.

It's Thursday, so that means Achievement Days. I love the 11 year old girls. They are a kick. I love the optimism that have for life. Sadly, I think I gave them too big of a dose of reality while they were at my house. Poor Noah decided it was time for a nervous breakdown.

After starting the activity and telling Noah it was time to get his homework done, he flipped out and starting yelling about how he was going to kill himself. GREAT. My response (please remember my stress level before you judge to harshly) was to make sure that he was standing on plastic sheeting so that I didn't have to clean up the mess. And because Opposition (the new game of life) is now frequently played at our house, he yelled back that just for that, he wasn't going to use plastic sheeting. And of course, being the sportsman that I am, wanted to win the game. So I yell back, "Look, you are cleaning it up either way. You either use plastic sheeting or I will use your dead, lifeless body as a mop to clean up the mess. Your choice mister." My final word on the matter...the homework got done.

After activity days, I realized I forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. It was at about this time Savannah realized she had a UTI. Of course she did. Then, I had to dart out the door and leave her making dinner. BUGGER. This was not going well. Thank goodness for a wonderful friend who took Noah to pack meeting, it was really one less thing on my plate. I got the dry cleaning, got home, made dinner, ate dinner and left with Savannah to the doctor. Well, as usual, she was spot on and did have an infection. Got the Rx and headed to the pharmacy...again. Once we got the meds, we headed home, only to be greeted by Caleb with a fever. Seriously? Seriously.

So the final tabulation for Thursday:

Piano Lessons: 2
Physical Therapy: 1
Doctors: 2
Pharmacies: 2
Carpool: 2

Awesome....:) I can do a lot more in a day than I thought I could.

So last night, as I was settling in bed...wait for the companionship of insomnia, I started realizing what a day it had been. Maybe this is because I am reflecting on it from Friday, but I realize it wasn't all that bad. I live in a wonderful community that offers incredible access to very good medical professionals. I also live in an area that has convenient access to necessary medications. I also have wonderful friends and neighbors that are willing and able to throw in a hand when things get to crazy. I have been blessed with a spectacular family that regardless of what goes on, we are able to find a laugh, chuckle, hug or good cry together and keep going. Thank goodness for the trials. As overwhelming as they are, without them, I would never be able to realize all of the wonderful things that go on around me. I'm still standing...we all are...that means something. Really.

Lessons Learned
1. I don't get very good gas mileage on hectic days.
2. I think being busy makes it harder for me to eat junk food...my scale is grateful.
3. Whenever I have a down day, it is just a day. I think I am bouncing back better.
4. Perspective is a wonderful gift.
5. My family...well, I just love them. More, now than ever. I am especially thankful that we are able to adapt and grow...together.