Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Pancake Queen Rides Again.....

About a year ago, Noah challenged me to a pancake eating contest.  Yeah, he didn't win....although for some reason he keeps telling people he did.  He must have gotten his faulty memory from me.

But, GUESS WHAT....Ihop is at it again....all you can eat pancakes for $4.99.  Oh yeah, bring it on.  And Noah has thrown down the guantlet and issued the challenge.  If I would have had really good leather gloves, I would have answered by a gentle smack on his cheeks with my gloves in hand....but I don't.  So instead I said, BRING IT ON.



As a family we went to Ihop, and Savannah, who was being sneaky, sneaky entered the challenge. 

Plate One:  Savannah and Mom in record time.  Noah doused his with diet coke and ate them.  I don't know why either.

Plate Two:  Savannah and Mom, record time again.  Noah...two bites and a "I was only kidding.  I don't know why you would think I would actually have a pancake eating contest."  Which was answered with "I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS" (Better Off Dead anyone?), and he said no because it wasn't real.  I told him that I would forgo the two dollars in exchange for his announcement that I was the pancake queen.  He tried "You are the pancake fool for thinking it was a real contest", so I doubled it to 4 bucks....don't mess with me.  He dropped his head and softly announced, "You are the pancake queen."  I made him do it louder.

Plate Three:  Mom record time.  Okay....get over it.  I like pancakes...A LOT.  And just to mess with my kids, I might have them for dinner.  Savannah managed to make it through her third plate...barely.  There were complaints of "I have a headache, pancakes might make it worse."  And with each bite, the fork move ever more slowly to her mouth.

Plate Four:  Mom.  Easily.  Savannah finally put her forehead on the table and said, "You are the pancake queen."  DUH.

Lessons Learned
1.  4 plates was nothing.  The record at the Ihop is 7, I may have to go back in while they are still doing all you can eat.
2.  I could have kept going, but I didn't want to embarrass Felix.  I can eat him under the table...and apparently I can do the same to my kids.
3.  There is a trick to eating pancakes without filling up.  I have shared it with very few....
4.  There is never a bad time for family bonding over pancakes.
5.  Who is up for the challenge?

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

What a Week....Oh Wait It's Only Tuesday

It has been a year in a span of days.  And there is some drama involved...but let me just say, if we can laugh about it, so can you.  I don't want to hear about any "Oh, I'm so sorry..."  or "It's always something with you..." or anything like that....cuz you know what...there is always something going on for everyone...mine just happens to be fluorescent purple.

MONDAY - Baylee had one of her checkups for her eyes and things are not as good as they hoped.  Not bad, certainly not terrible, but not as good as it should be.  So the sweet and wonderful people at Primary Children's have extended an invitation for us to be there more often.  Awwwwwwwwwww.  That's so sweet.  So we will get to do infusions more often...how often?  I'd like to know myself.

Savannah had volleyball practice, so we had two quick trips to the rec center.  Plus the usual homework, dinner, chores, so just another night.  Or so we thought.....

As we were settling down the young 'uns for the night, Caleb runs in and says, well more like SCREAMS, "It was an accident, it was an accident...I'M NOT GROUNDED!!!!"  Which for some odd reason begs the question, "WHAT was an accident?"  Come to find out, he was washing his hands after going to the bathroom in the sink that drains slow and forgot to turn the water off.  PLUMBING anyone?  Yes, if you know me, you know that plumbing and I are ARCH ENEMIES.

As I wade though the one inch of water on my laundry room towels, round all of the walking Indians to find me dry towels I just had to laugh.  Why?  Because it was 10 o'clock at night, I was drench and so was one entire room of my house.  Apparently, we needed a cleansing.  No worries, it was all cleaned up and I was in bed by 11.

TUESDAY- Tuesday started out like it usually did, with 6:30 am piano lessons.  Oh, don't start...it works for us and my kids get their afternoons.  We rush home from piano, take the Jr. High kids to school, come home get everyone else ready, fit Baylee for crutches, fight about backpacks and get everyone out the door.  PHEW.

I get some work done and head to the Kindergarten Christopher Columbus play.  Caleb was AWESOME.  He was a fabulous Columbus and 'faced his fears' (in his own words) and did fabulous.  Right after that we made for my piano lesson, which had to be changed for Baylee's doctor appointment.  So the kiddos get home from school, we attempt to get chores done, send Noah with the neighbor to Lacrosse warm ups and get ready to follow.

We made it to the game on time.  Enjoyed a thoroughly exciting game.  Jon took an amazing hit to the head, Tad was all over it and Noah tried twice to take the ball from his goal and score on the other team.  He won the Most Improved Player award from the team and I AM SO PROUD of him.

We decided to take the munchkins out to dinner to celebrate the end of the season and had a fun dinner.  Baylee was able to get around pretty good so we didn't have to take the crutches.  SO NICE.  We made it home and played s'more Lacrosse until Tad was picked up.

After that....things got a little nuts. 

DISCLAIMER:  All events in the next section happened within 5 minutes.  I can't make this stuff up.  Nobody is that good.

Baylee managed to make it to the basement even though her pain was increasing....she was doing okay, but the basement wouldn't have been my first choice.  After about 20 minutes, she starting intercomming (read: SCREAMING) that her pain was horrible and couldn't stand up.  Yeah, I saw that coming....but (and NO, I am NOT a cold-hearted mommy....much) she needed to make the attempt herself.  After about 10 minutes I headed downstairs to help her.  As I passed by the family room heading to the basement, I saw Noah laying on the floor.

He raised his head a fraction of an inch and weakly raised his arm in my direction and whispered, "Help me.....help me.  I can't breathe."  OOOOOHHHHHHH, he was in the middle of an asthma attack and on the verge of passing out.  Whoops...I DIDN'T see that coming.  So I grab the nebulizer, start a breathing treatment and tell Caleb to get his dad because Baylee had moved from screaming to wailing.  Felix comes down completely perplexed by the scene in front of him.  I rattled off instructions for him to get to Baylee because I couldn't leave Noah until was breathing normally. 

Felix and Savannah went to Baylees aid, helped her up the stairs and started a bath so we could 'jet' her casts.  (FYI:  We put her casts in front the jets in the tub and flush them out).  Noah was stable enough for me to leave, so Felix and I switched places. 

As I was helping Baylee get her feet situated, Caleb came in and announced, "Hey I found this stuff in the couch and it tasted nasty, do you think water will help?"

Mom:  What did you drink?
Caleb:  I don't know but it was yucky.
Mom:  Go get me the bottle.
Caleb:  Can't I just have water?
Mom:  No, go get me the bottle.
Caleb:  FINE

He leaves in a huff and I hear him talking to Felix, but not about what he was supposed to.  So I took  my turn at the intercom and said, "Could somebody please see what Caleb had to drink so I know if I need to call poison control?"  After a few loud, choice words from Felix I hear giggling.  Then I hear some footsteps.  Caleb and Felix walk into the room, and Felix tells Caleb to tell me what he said.  Caleb promptly looks at me and says, "I told dad you are smarter than him because you are 38 and he is only 37."

REALLY?

Lessons Learned
1.  Oh, by the way....Caleb drank a REALLY, REALLY old liquid sucker.  It had at least another 100 years before it went bad.
2.  I gotta stop saying "what else" out loud.
3.  Children are a joy, an adventure and a few other choice words.
4.  It could have been worse....but it wasn't.  And when all was said and done, we laughed.  We laughed long and hard.
5.  I wouldn't change a thing.....except maybe containing my few choice words in my head.

Monday, October 11, 2010

You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry....

This post does not paint me in the best light.  I'm trying my very best to get over it....baby steps people, baby steps.

Before I 'officially' start, let me explain a few things.  First, I'm not comfortable in my own skin....probably because it's too tight.  Second, I have a horrible fear of being on the wrong side of the camera lens....kind of like my fear of people.  Third, if I ask you a question....answer it....no games....unless I initiate them and am winning.

Noah had a Lacrosse game on Saturday, and as usual it was in Salt Lake.  So we went and enjoyed the game (mostly...trying to contain Caleb has a tendency to make things difficult) and since we were all starving we decided to grab a bite to eat on our way home.  Well, we were halfway between lunch and dinner so we decided to have linner or dunch (depending on where you are from). 

We meandered our way to the freeway, perusing our many choices of eateries.  The short people in the back seat kept saying how hungry they were so we went to Chuck-A-Rama...yay buffets, because there has to be something that everyone likes.  We got there with 5 minutes to spare for the lunch rates, so it was a pretty good deal....except for the fact it was PACKED.  I completely forgot it was Saturday in Mormonville...Football games, weddings, funerals....beyond nuts and we all know that Mormons can't have an activity without food, and Chuck-A-Rama was it.

So it took forever but we filled up our plates, got settled and began chowing down.  While I was out getting my food, Felix began exploring the features of my new phone....more specifically the retro camera app.  I'm guessing while I was gone that Felix enjoyed taking pictures of each of the kids.  They don't care if they have a mouthful of food, they were all muggin' for the camera.

I sat down and what does my husband do.....he takes my picture.  That was dumb.

Few minutes later he is typing away. I ask him what he is doing and he won't answer.  That was dumb too.

We finish eating and head to the car, all the while I am pestering the heck out of him to find out what he did with the picture.  While we are on the freeway he finally 'fesses up and admits that he posted it to facebook and it was funny.  Why was it funny?  I captioned it, "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

So what do I do?  COMPLETELY FLIP OUT.  DUH.  Not only does he take my picture, he posts it where it will stay in cyber-space for like EVER and then he compares me to a large, green man.  Let me just say, it was not my dear husbands day.

As I go ON and ON and ON and ON about him calling me fat and green, he really did protest that it was a cute picture and I was giving him a dirty look, hence the caption.  SO....fat and green....REALLY?  Now men, you may not be able to draw the same conclusion that I did, but women....you did and that is all that really matters.

Once we got home, he removed the post from Facebook....smart move.  It is two days later and I should probably stop telling him to "Post it on Facebook".  Just a thought.

Lessons Learned
1.  DON'T take my picture and post it online.  NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo.
2.  My poor husband inadvertently bit off more than he could chew...but after 16 years (almost) you would think he would know better.
3.  One day I might find all of my neuroses....but there aren't enough therapists int he world to treat them all.
4.  I should really roll with things better.
5.  This is as close to an apology as he is gonna get....hope it works.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

KISS Me Baby

This is somewhat over due, but hey, better late than never.

Felix and I went to the Kiss concert on September 22.  Nope, not a fan (okay, one of my guilty pleasures is Gene Simmons Family Jewels).  I hate concert settings because 1) People scare me.  2)  Drunk people scare me even more  3)  What if someone touches me?  4)  What if there is a fight by me?  5)  What if something happens and I get locked inside the stadium and everyone is gone and I'm alone in the dark?

You know what....let's just leave my neuroses alone and move onto the concert.  But as a side note, why would I go?  Easy, I would rather be a part of my husband's midlife crisis than not.

We rode up with some friends (YAY Tjay and Christy) and of course had to be early (so I could find all of the escape routes while it was empty.

We wandered around, did the whole bathroom thing and found our seats.  Unfortunately we were in a different section than our friends...but I had to get settled early.  We were in section AA, row 15....which in simple terms means, we were by all of the scary people. 

So I did what I always do during the opening acts.  I made fun of them.  I honest and truly have no idea if the bands were good....I couldn't take them seriously because they were all in skinny jeans.  Really, really skinny jeans.  Honestly, go have a cupcake or something.

So as it got closer to concert time....and as I delved deeper into my people watching....I decided I needed to get me some of these boots.  The whole front was studded too, but I couldn't get a picture without looking like a wacko.

We knew it was getting close when the Kiss curtain dropped.  Buh, buh, bummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. 

 And then they made their grand entrance onto the stage.  Lots of smoke, light and DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA.  I really have to say one thing about Kiss.  Whether you like their music or not....they put on a great show.  And to be fair....it was really a clean show.  No nakedness, swearing....just a lot of people who imbibed and LOVE IT.

So you can see the grand entrance for yourself and look who made it into the picture....my favorite aisle nazi.  Ooooooohhhhhhhhh, HE MADE ME SO MAD.  And for the love of Pete....be fair.   Breathe....I'll get to that part of the story in a moment. 

Like I said, it was an amazing show to watch.  But me being who I am didn't exactly watch the show.  I watched the people.  I really, really enjoyed the Indian woman in front of us....like from India, not Native American who was there with her teenage son.  In fact, in a large portion of my pictures you can see her head, arm or camera.  During the entire length of the concert, her son stood by her side, with the hood of his sweatshirt pulled over his head, while she rocked out like a crazy woman.  It was fascinating to see.

Then of course, there were all of the people trying to sit someplace other than their own seats, which is how the incredibly drunk people with their daughter ended up pushing us out of our seats into the aisle.  Now Mr. Aisle Nazi put them there, and then made us stand in the aisle.  Ya NIT....

But the best part of having an aisle seat was watching the surgically enhance blonde woman hit on every single security guard to try and get to the front row (which was cordoned off so people like her couldn't get there).  After about an hour and twenty attempts of her slobbering on men they kicked her and her husband out....you know...the guy that paid for her 2.0 enhancements.  Also in the aisle, was EXTREMELY drunk zebra pants guy that would jump and spin through the aisle until Aisle Nazi put him back in his seat.  All in all it was pretty freaking funny.

 I was able to get several amazing shots of the entire band together...which Felix is pretty exited about....I'm probably going to have to scrapbook it or something for him....YUCK.  I'm really hoping that he will settle for our T-shirt, tickets and maybe one photo to be framed for the guitar room wall.  We'll see.

The most amazing part of the concert was coming up.  From watching Family Jewels, I knew Gene Simmons was incredibly involved with charity work for soldiers and veterans.  After the main set, the band said they wouldn't continue the show unless the ENTIRE crowd rose and recited the Pledge of Allegiance.  They kept UNDER GOD in there and everything.  After the pledge, they had soldiers come up and hold a check, where they donated over $450,000 to the Wounded Warriors Organization.  A charitable organization that helps wounded vets get back on their feet.  It was amazing to watch
and see.  I felt an overwhelming sense of pride to be at a Kiss concert....I know that sounds weird, but these are incredibly patriotic men who give a little bit of their time and money to the men and women who have given EVERYTHING to protect me, my rights and freedoms and this blessed nation.  I was extremely touched to be at a rock concert where they stopped everything to honor the true heroes of our world.....the soldiers.

The concert went on, and the last two songs were like the only two I had ever heard before.  God Gave Rock and Roll to Us and Rock and Roll All Night.

Now my dear sweet husband....who loves me in spite of my wacko, knew that I would recognize God Gave Rock and Roll to Us from Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure.  I did surprise him though, by yelling out "WYLD STALLYNS"...it was okay....all the drunk people that I was just one of them.  We enjoyed Rock and Roll All Nights....collected pieces of confetti to give to the kids and booked the heck out of dodge.

It was a good show.  Much better than I expected....and next on the list is Heart in November.  The Morgans Concert Tour is continuing.

Lessons Learned

1.  People still scare me.  But I am learning some FABULOUS defensive stances.
2.  I have respect for Kiss as people...not musicians....I'm just not there yet (nor do I want to be).
3.  I love saying the Pledge of Allegiance.  I could probably use that as a method to get over my whole scared of people thing.
4.  Fake blood and fire and really cool in concerts.  Good mix.  Kind of like Deadliest Warrior - Live and in person.
5.  I've gotta gear up for Heart....it's indoors, I won't have the sky to save me this time.



Friday, October 1, 2010

No Regrets

**I've received this a couple of times in email, and maybe it's been the events of the past few weeks but I was really touched this morning and needed to share.

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.


I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being..

She said, 'Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?'

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, 'Of course you may!' and she gave me a giant squeeze..

'Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?' I asked.

She jokingly replied, 'I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids...'

'No seriously,' I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

'I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!' she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this 'time machine' as she shared her wisdom and experience with me..

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, 'I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.'

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ' We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody! Can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets..'

She concluded her speech by courageously singing 'The Rose.'

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those months ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

Lessons Learned (again)
1.  It's okay to play in the rain.
2.  It's okay to have joy.
3.  It's okay to make the best of every situation, and Pollyanna-up.
4.  It's okay to admit I don't know it all and can't do it all....BECAUSE I'M NOT DEAD YET, there's still time.
5.  It's okay to love freely with no expectations of anything in return.
 
I WANT TO LIVE WITH NO REGRETS and make the most of this wonderful adventure I'm on.
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