Monday, December 31, 2007

Cat Bathing 101

I know that this is no flaming toilet, but for posterity I had to take pictures and post. Meet Persephone (Goddess of the Underworld), Seph for short. She is the youngest of our three cats, we love her, she loves us, but some days, she falls a few cards short of a full deck, IF ya know what I mean.

Well a couple of weeks ago (you can tell I am trying to catch up from all of the Christmas chaos), the poor kitty had been out playing, when we opened the door, the pathetic little creature was sitting on the porch half, yes half, covered in mud. Here are the theories:

1. She was sitting in the mud (because we don't have a front yard yet), and fell asleep and fell over.

2. She was sitting in the mud (because she heard it was good for her skin), got bored and fell over.

3. She was sitting in the mud (because she had just inhaled a ton of catnip and was high) and just plain fell over.

4. There is no excuse, she fell over.

Anyhoo, it went a bit like this:

We take the dirty little kitty to the bathroom, because after watching her try so hard to get the mud off of herself, we decide she needs a bit of help. Savannah sat in the background telling me what a bad idea she thinks it is to give the cat a bath. My response, DUH, okay, DUH.

I don't know a single person who thinks it is a good idea to give a cat a bath, that is like a death wish, know what I mean.

We put the baby kitty in the water, she did GREAT, for about 10 seconds, then she realized she was wet and started yowling like you have never heard before. It was funny. Because if you look closely at my face (OKAY, not that close...back up people), you can see that I am just waiting for the full on assault and gratitude that Savannah is in the room so she can call 911 after I am slashed to near death.

In order to save my own life, we shorted the process, skip the shampoo call a rinse good and let go and run for our lives. Believe it or not we escape with no injuries.
Don't ask the cat, but she survived. A little worse for the wear, but a little less mud. and that was good for all.
She was torqued for a while, but at the end of the day, she forgave us.
So in case you ever need the help, here are my tips for some good ol' fashioned CAT WASHING!!
1. If you fill up the tub as much as you can, you don't have to work so hard at rinsing.
2. Unless you are really afraid, don't let your kids in to help, all they do is make fun of you.
3. Soap is optional unless they are STANKY...and I mean STANKY.
4. Believe it or not, cats are very forgiving, after you suck up with cat nip and kitty treats.
5. Finish your yard as quickly as possible, that way when the special needs kitty falls over, they fall on grass, not dirt.

The Carnage of Christmas 2007's over, it's over, it's over!!!!! Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas! I love that everybody is in a giving mood, and people are over all more friendly, smiley and sparkley. But let's be honest boys and girls, there is a reason that Christmas comes down at 8am on December 26th. As with any aspect of life, the law of opposition is in effect. To counteract all of the twinkly, sparkly people, there are those who cut you off, take stuff they want out of your cart and generally will try and kill you to get the last "it" toy of the year. And that is how Christmas is just for the general population. THEN, there are the kids.......

Just like any other Christmas morning, it all starts to peacefully. There they are the gift, wrapped (and sparkly) under the tree, lights twinkling with the wonder of the day...and then THEY show up. So cute, excited and MANIC! The wrapping paper flies in every direction, no care given for the defenseless babies and parents. And if you look very carefully, behind safety goggles of course, you can see the bits of chocolate flying out of their mouths as they squeal in delight. Fortunately, the chaos lasts but a moment. Seriously, it only takes a minutes and it's over. Whew!!!!!! Then everyone, after the initial excitement of opening the packages, takes a closer look, so they can decide whether to thank or berate the parents. It is always a relief when the thanks appears, instead of facing the fears of having to stand in the return line for an eternity.

And with some of the children (who have absolutely no personality whatsoever), you have posing! And others sheer excitement at the gift they never expected to receive! And yet others, offer comic relief at the misunderstanding at what the gift is exactly supposed to do.
Even with the chaos, they are still kind of cute.
So at the close of this blog, what are the lessons learned?
1. It doesn't matter whether you have a small Christmas or a big Christmas, the carboard box is still the favorite toy (for kids of all ages).
2. If you close your eyes, it is all over way too quick. My advice, just hold on tight and enjoy the ride.
3. Chocolate for breakfast (unless you are the mom) is a BAD, BAD, BAD idea.
4. Choosing non-breakable ornaments was a great idea. Too bad the 2 year old took them all off and hid them.
5. Christmas is and will forever be about LOVE.
So from our family to your, regardless of the chaos or peace surrounding your household and the holiday season, MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY NEW YEAR and much love.
The Morgan Family
Felix, Wendy, Savannah, Noah, Baylee and Caleb