Sunday, August 15, 2010

When Mixers Attack

Some people, okay I'll admit it....mostly girls, talk with their hands.  I am a HUGE hand talker and my girls have absolutely followed suit.

Baylee had a cute little friend over the other day and I thought they could make cookies.  In order to avoid the mess I would absolutely have to clean up, I gave them a mix to use instead of having them start from scratch.  They read the instructions, got everything in the bowl and then I hear...."Mom, I don't get it.  I need your help."  Really?

So I trudge into the kitchen....kind of dejected like because I am trying not to make cookies.  As Baylee is asking me her question, she has the hand mixer in one hand and is gesturing wildly with the other.

Halfway through her sentence, she accidentally turns the mixer on.  It grabs the side of her hand and works its way through her wrist and halfway up her forearm before she can turn it off. 

She looks at me.

I look at her.

She screams.

I laugh.

I try to remove it, but it is stuck fast.  At which point, she panics and hits the pulse button, and the mixer moves even further up her arm.  She screams louder, then I start to panic.

With my killer mama bear instincts, and my incredibly strong physique, I grab the beaters and pull them off of her arm, rescuing her from the bite of the wild mixer.  I wrestled the beaters to the sink where I disposed of them, and drown them (it had to be done...they had blood on them....ewwwwwww).  No longer will anyone in my home have to fear an unprovoked attack from that household kitchen appliance.

We patched Baylee up and sent her on her way.  Slightly scraped, bruised and beaten (get it?  beaten.), she is well on her way to recovery, having learned don't mess with the mixer.

Lessons Learned
1. DON'T TALK WITH YOUR HANDS WHILE COOKING
2. Don't laugh when mixers attack.
3. Mama bear instincts work for this kind of thing too.
4. She's still mad at me for laughing.
5. I really loved that mixer....I wonder why it went on the rampage?
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