Popularity: It IS All It's Cracked Up to Be

I would like to thank Christy and Jen for their inspiration for this post. It is because of my pursuit of their popularity that I am where I am today.

As an homage to the reasons why people want to be popular, I have compiled my
POPULARITY PERKS OF 2009 list. This list may or may not prove to be so popular that it will have an annual release. So please, if you wish to see more of this in the future...leave comments. This list will be presented in the most popular color and font, we want to make sure the popular people are happy. Really, really happy.

POPULARITY PERKS OF 2009

10. When you are popular, PEOPLE LISTEN TO YOU. Which is a good thing. Because obviously, you have said enough right things that you got popular in the first place.

9. When you are popular, people try to dress like you. Get a personal tailor with an airtight contract so you are only wearing one of a kinds.

8. When you are popular, people want to be your friend. Thank goodness for Facebook so you can make people your 'virtual' friends without having to actually talk to them.

7. When you are popular, people surround you all of the time giving you positive, personal affirmation. Quite frankly they should....no use wasting on the undeserving.

6. When you are popular, people try to buy your affection. You aren't free, cheap or easy, so start saving up.

5. When you are popular, you are blessed with plausible deniability. You can rob a bank in plain view of the cops, but that's okay, you didn't do it, you're popular. It was really Bubba Jr.

4. When you are popular, people automatically go along with your plans. Everyone knows that popular people have good plans...it is how they got to be popular in the first place.

3. When you are popular and thirsty (all at the same time), and when you ask for a drink, people bring you the good bottled water.

2. When you are popular you don't have to overexert, regular people are fully aware of the fact you need ALL of your energy to maintain your popularity.

1. And the best part is when you are popular, you have the super special key to the good bathroom that has a gold toilet seat in ALL public places (including Wal-Mart, McDonalds, etc).

Lessons Learned

1. Christy, Jen...can I just look at the super special key...just once?
2. Popularity is WAY too hard to maintain. I mean who would want to ruin their shoes by stepping on so many little people.
3. TRUE popularity comes from within.
4. Popularity is as popularity does.
5. I mean, Obama is popular.............what does that tell you?