Okay...the purpose of this little tale is not pity. It is simply to make others appreciate the world that they live in, more appropriately, their shoes.
Two Saturdays ago, it was the usual hectic, crazy, unassuming, nightmarish sort of day. I had to tackle the Mount Himalaya of laundry (with Leiderhosen even) as well as take care of all of the crazy things that didn't get done during the week.
So as I was loading the next pile of laundry, I smelled something. I think it probably qualifies in the whole, "She who smelt it, dealt it." Only it wasn't a fart. A fart would have been preferable. I was burning my lunch. So I quickly finished putting the laundry in and ran into the kitchen.
Now, like every one else, I really do adore my split level home. Especially those three little steps from my family room to my kitchen. As I ran to save my biblical lunch (burnt offerings people, pay attention), my flip flop caught the stair nose and I fell UP the stairs into the kitchen. Yes, I said I fell up the stairs. Look, I know you are jealous, but we have all been given special talents and that just happens to be mine. Okay.
While I writhed around on the floor for a while smelling my lunch moving further down the path of carbon, I eventually heaved my aching body up, turned the oven off and cried. Then I limped upstairs and cried. Then I took drugs and I stopped crying. It was just Advil...I'm not that hard-core.
So on Monday, my kneecap was still numb. So I though maybe I should go to the doctor. On Tuesday I explained my gift of acrobatics in the up direction and after the doctor was done laughing he checked my knee and said we better do x-rays to make sure you didn't fracture your kneecap. Riiiiiiiigggggghhhhhhttttt.
After the x-rays, as I was watching my insane 4 year old bounce off the walls, the doctor came in and said, "Good News, you're not broken. Well, not in that sense." Apparently I strained my patellar tendon, causing a pool of blood under the kneecap and damaged the nerves in my knee so badly that I killed them. So in 2 to 6 months, I should be able to feel my knee again.
Here's the upside. I can't feel my tendon because my nerves are dead. COOL.
Lessons Learned
1. Walk slowly.
2. Don't wear flip-flops while running up the stairs.
3. I believe I have begun to accept my calling in life to make everyone else feel better...How'm I doin'?
4. This has to be one of the funniest things that has happened in a long time. I fell UP the stairs....that is worthy of a good chuckle.
5. So, do you want to be me yet?
2 comments:
Wendy, I love you, all of you, your sense of humor, your wit, your style, and most of all your ability to laugh at yourself in the mist of sitting in a pile of muck!!!! Your honesty is a breath of fresh air! You tell it like it is, and don't paint a picture that in real life, is un-reachable.... because in real life, most of us are stuck in the roll of Cinderella, and have to deal with the many Evil Step Mothers of life. You are a wonderful woman, numb knee and all!!!!!
You are doing great! I'm still laughing! Love ya!!
Post a Comment