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Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Self Actualization...So S.A.D.

Okay, so as previously mentioned, we went to Hope of America last night (Awesome...in my very best opera voice).

We settled into our seats (with Kleenex firmly shoved up our nostrils...yup we were in the nosebleed section) and people began to fill into the seats around us, I began to get nervous. Not like, 'Oh my gosh, I'm about to get a new drivers license picture' nervous...but nervous, nervous.

I'm very lucky in that my husband saw I was not in a good place and he had me go and get some snackage for the fam. After an eternity in line...because the guy in front of me didn't ask his kids what they wanted BEFORE it was their turn, I finally got my hot dogs and drinks. I couldn't eat...I was so nauseated at that point, I was just hoping to make it through the night.

So I got the food back to the minions, and I settled into my 2 inch by 2 inch seat. The seats around us got very full and as a result I got very sweaty. And then my heart started racing, and I started sweating (like ewww, gross sweating)...and then I started hyperventilating. The lights began to dim and I began to swoon (not in a ballroom dancing 'romantic' dance kind of way...more like oh my gosh my life is flashing before my eyes kind of way), YIKES.

I shook my head and knocked some sense into me and managed to calm down enough to enjoy the show. Kind of...until the lady next to me slammed her two year old into the chair next to me. Okay, and let's just wind back on up.

They finally decided I was WAY to crazy sit by and left...thank goodness. Caleb was waking up from his little nap (a modern day miracle) and kicked my drink over. As I was warning the people in front of us, I knocked his drink over. YAY...are you kidding me? I WISH.

The show ended and I grabbed Caleb and Baylee and made a beeline to the bathroom. Once locked in the stall, I could breathe. There were no strangers touching me...HALLA-FREAKING-LUYAH.

We made it out, to the outside...no more cramped space. I could see the sky and stars. I sent every one else to the car and grabbed Savannah and made like magic for the car. POOF. I used my trademark, "If I don't look at them, the other cars don't exist" move and managed to get out of the parking lot in record time.

It took until Lindon before I finally stopped hyperventilating and my racing heart began to slow down.

So now we know that somewhere in my twisty, turny little imaginary world I developed Social Anxiety Disorder (get, it so S.A.D.). And wouldn't you know that the acronym for my disorder would be S.A.D. Maybe we could call it General Anxiety Disorder (G.A.D.) but then I would always be thinking about The Music Man when they always say Eeee Gads as a form of foul language. (sigh). We'll figure it out at some point.

Lessons Learned
1. Maybe I should tell my visiting teachers that they should only come one at a time.
2. Do you think this qualifies for disability?...maybe I can get my own Bailout from the government.
3. Do you think it is okay to put anti-perspirant on your face?
4. Feel free to come visit and help me through my identity crisis. But please, no groups and be prepared to wear a foil hat in case the aliens are monitoring that day.
5. Ya gotta laugh...they other option is to cry and I already have moisture issues around my head.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I've had S.A.D. for years, but not in that environment. It only qualifies as a disability if it keeps you from performing your normal job (I've been checking into it myself).