Top 10 List of Things to Say Instead of Swearing

10. Ka-Dizzle (Shout Out to Snoop Dog...Yo)
9. *@!#) (It is pronounced Asterisk, Ampersand, Exclamation Point, Pound Sign, Close Parenthesis...It's like a tongue twister...go crazy.)
8. Bugger (for many reasons...I hate bugs...and I feel so like I've have traveled the world extensively when I say that)
7. Ahoymanya (nothing special...I just think it sounds cool)
6. Clavicle (May also substitute any other bone/joint that sounds like fun...scapula, sacro-iliac, gluteus maximus, etc.)
5. Biscuits and Gravy (**Warning** -may induce hunger)
4. Snap (Kid favorite...yay Raven...however, can get old REALLY, REALLY quickly)
3. Olive Juice (also works as a way to mess with peoples' heads when you mouth the words to someone across the room **Warning** -may induce unwanted attention from complete strangers and end you up in jail with trumped up stalking charges)
2. Geez Louise (apologies to the Louises of the world, really, it's nothing personal...it rhymes)
1. FOR THE LOVE OF PETE (Only works if it is in all caps)

Lessons Learned
1. Unknowingly, I have too much time on my hands.
2. My therapist told me to work on my unresolved issues (ummm, quick side note: if I knew what my unresolved issues were I wouldn't be paying you)
3. Water has triggered my Turrets to a point where I feel as though I need substitutes.
4. Two of the greatest motivators in this life are guilt and fear.
5. What the Olive Juice am I so *@!#) (Asterisk, Ampersand, Exclamation Point, Pound Sign, Close Parenthesis) afraid of that I need to ask these questions? FOR THE LOVE OF PETE.