(976) Call Me

I love Wednesdays. I really, really do. There is no piano at 6:30 am. There is no Physical Therapy...Wednesdays have really started to become my recuperation day. And then today happened, and I think I may have to rethink my whole philosophy of having or even needing really, a recuperation day. I think (I am no longer willing to commit to anything), that recuperation is merely a myth concocted by a vast left wing conspiracy.

Savannah has been asking me to take her to the doctor for sometime now for a never-ending stomach ache. I finally made an appointment for today. I won't divulge what finally convinced me to take her...it would upset her. After lecturing the kids about being ready when I came to pick them up early, I threw them out the door and into the car with their father.

I tried to do some down time for a change, but instead attacked the pit of despair otherwise known as my house. I made some progress...that was pretty darn cool. I wonder if it will last the day? I know, I know...I can dream though, can't I?

I went and picked the kids up at school and of course, it was the usual chaos. I'm starting to recognize the natural flow of my life...and apparently, I induce chaos. Neato...it's almost like a super power. After losing Caleb no fewer than 5 times, I kinda started to panic. Fortunately as I was heading out the door a group of boys from Noahs class came out of the boys bathroom to inform me that Caleb was hitting them in the bathroom. Well, at least I found him.

We made it out the door and to the car...that in itself, was probably worthy of an award. I dropped off Noah, Baylee and Caleb at grandma and grandpas so that I wouldn't have to deal with all of the crazy that goes with taking all 4 of them to the doctors.

At the doctors, it was nice that we didn't have to wait very long. That is what happens when you have such an excellent doctor...he is always packed.

And when the doctor walked in the room and mentioned "Pregnant Grove", Savannah dissolved into a fit of bright pink giggles. It is a crack up and a half to see your 11 year old unable to look anyone in the eye all because someone had the audacity to utter 'Pregnant'.

At least it was a good visit. There was only a minor issue with a kidney...same old, same old. The rest, well, let's just say it had something to with Mother Nature and maturity. But if I thought she had turned an amazing color of red before, it was nothing compared to the color she turned when the doctor said, "Sexual Development". We had to hurry and get out of there before she passed out...they might have had to do mouth to mouth or something.

We left with the number for the urology department up at Primary Childrens with the resolve to call them on the way home. We got into the car, we got settled and before I even backed out of the parking stall, I made the call.

I kind of figured out that I called the wrong number when the message for the Sex Chat Hotline started. Whoops. I quickly hung up the phone, and apparently have my own talent when it comes to turning a beautiful shade of scarlet. Savannah instantly wanted to know what was going on. I tried everything to not tell her. But finally, my own giggles got the best of me and I blurted out the whole entire thing. And by the way, mistaken phone calls like that, lead to really interesting conversations that I wasn't planning on having today.

So we pick up the kids, head to Wal-Mart, decide Wal-Mart was a bad idea and go to the bank. Schedule the necessary tests for Savannah while at the bank (yay cell phones) and then head home. We get home, get settled (okay, that just means that we walk through the door) and then I sit down to take care of the e-mail and other fun activities I had missed this afternoon.

At that point, I am trying to figure out why the little flashy light on my phone is going crazy. Then I remember I have voicemail. I quickly scroll through my caller ID to try and figure out who may have left a message. There was the Carpet Cleaning Company - no. Friends of MS - no. Karen Decker - oooohhh, I hope so...she is so much fun to talk to.

Then I check voicemail. Oh yay, it was Karen...and then I listened to the message. It was wonderful to hear her voice, until I heard her voice say, "I just wanted to see if your kids were okay. I knew when the school called for me to pick up Tad something was going on". I think I threw up a little in my mouth.

How could I forget Tad? Tad is completely unforgettable. Unless of course, it was me and it was today. And could I possibly recover the missing part of my brain? Nope. So I quickly called Karen, to offer my humblest of apologies. I didn't even have any chocolate in the house to buy her off. The only thing lower than me at that point, was the gum on my shoe...that got tracked in and got all over everything (no, not really...I just wanted to create a visual image).

Thank goodness for Karen...she doesn't hate me. Well, at least she doesn't hate me out loud. I can live with that. I still feel like I owe Tad a chocolate bar or something. But at least I was able to hang up the phone with a clear conscience...even if it was saddled with a bruised ego.

The second I hung up the phone, Baylee looked at me and said, "Hey Mom, did you know you forgot to pick up Tad today?" Seriously? Seriously.

Lessons Learned
1. I have no brain.
2. I now know that number 1 is no longer a joke.
3. I am so glad kids are forgiving...I'll bet even more forgiving when I have chocolate.
4. Perhaps writing things down is no longer a viable option for me to remember things.
5. I am no longer hoping to keep my head above water, a single nostril will do. In fact, if I can just bob up for a quick breath of air on occasion...that would suffice too.