An Attention Span of a Gnat

I am sure that you are automatically thinking, oh it must be her kids. Sadly no. It is me.

My husband and I went on a wonderful date last night. We decided to really do something special and we went out to the symphony to see Mozarts Requiem. It is really pretty funny that we would end up at the symphony because Felix is a major Metal Head, while I am the soundtrack and pop queen. However, although our tastes are extraordinarily different, we do share a love of classical music. Sorry Mozart, as much as we love you, Bach is our favorite.

We left several hours before we needed to be there with the intention of having a nice dinner beforehand. Unforetunately, I hadn't been up to Salt Lake for quite a while and didn't realize it had turned into Little LA. The traffic was immense and I loved how every single route around Abravanel Hall was doing construction and at some point or another narrowed down to a single lane. So after two hours stuck in traffic (and a solid half an hour behind one of the horse drawn carriages...don't go there, it isn't pretty), we finally made it to the venue and found a modern day miracle: Free Parking. We walked into Abravanel Hall exactly 18 minutes before it began.

Felix and I are not social butterflies, we spent a few minutes meandering through the crowd, and as soon as possible went to our seats. We followed the instructions sent to us by email (the one that said it would make us look like seasoned symphony goers) and studiously read the programs.

The lights dimmed, the instruments tuned up and all of the last minute people rushed in and stepped on the feet of all of the people who sat down early. Eventually everyone was settled and the conductor came on stage.

The first soft strains of music rapturously filled the air and the musical scene was set in front of us. The music was like colors filling the air. First the air was filled with swirls of pastels, followed by bright and brilliant colors. At the crescendo, the deep, rich hues permeated the air and surrounded you. It was phenomenal. The second piece included an amazing sopranoand mezzo soprano, and it too was amazing.

Next came the intermission. And being the seasoned symphony folk we are, we played games on our Blackberrys, updated Facebook profiles and sporadically threw out as many composers names as we possibly could. Uh, yeah, we wanted to look good. And our abundent knowledge of Chopin, Van Gogh, Dvorak, Picasso, Beethoven (as well as other composers and artists) made us look AWESOME.

Again the lights dimmed, setting the tone for next piece, the Requiem itself. As the soprano, mezzo soprano, tenor and bass joined the musicians on stage, we got ready for a real treat. And it was.

The first five minutes were undeniably incredible. It was in minute six I realized that I the attention span of a gnat. At one of the crescendos, I had a vision of the amazing Light Saber battle in Star Wars: Phantom Menace. The next twenty minutes or so went a little something like this:

Light Saber Battle: Wondering if John Williams was a huge fan of Mozart
Orchestra: What kind of hair product does the conductor use...his hair is really shiny and bouncy.
Light Saber Battle: Wouldn't it be cool to put the TV on mute and play the requiem while watching the light saber battle?
Orchestra: It is soooooooo cool that all of the bows of the violinists move up and down at exactly the same time...how very calming.
Home: I wonder if the kids have killed each other yet.
Light Saber Battle: I think this would be the part that Quaigon Jin is about to die(I have no idea how to spell that)
Home: It is so cool knowing my kids would really like to see this themselves.

Right around here Felix leans over and points out that part sounds kind of like Queens Bohemian Rhapsody. Which sparks another lapse of attention.

Queen: Hmmmmm, I wonder if Freddie Mercury liked Mozart.
Light Saber Battle: If you close your eyes you can see Darth Maul and Quaigon on the stage.
Home: They haven't texted in a while, maybe they really are dead.
Queen: I wonder if there are any other Queen songs that sound like Mozart. I wonder if Freddie Mercury could manage as one of the soloists, and which one?
Light Saber Battle: It looks like Freddie Mercury joined in.
Orchestra: That guy on the drums is so cool. How long does it take to become a percussionist?
Queen: Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia, let me go...................
Light Saber Battle: I really like John Williams.
Home: I wonder if the kids will be mad if we stop to get something to eat?
Orchestra: These guys are amazing singers, I wonder how they learn to sing in a foreign language.

I think you kind of get the idea. Overall it was fabulous and I had a wonderful time.

Lessons Learned

1. I really do like classical music, even if I tend to wander.
2. It was fun to have a date that wasn't movies and popcorn.
3. I am so amazed at the musical gifts of others...I wonder if they know how much joy they bring to the world?
4. I might have to try the opera next...just so I can say I've been there.
5. I don't just love my husband...I really like him too.