So, we have reached a new pinnacle in the blogsphere. I have gotten so many comments from crazy, stranger, oriental porn linking weirdos that I have been forced into comment moderation.
I am a huge believer in the First Amendment, having a dialogue and telling it how it is. But...this is a family friendly blog and your crazy, porn links don't have anything to do with what I'm talking about. Which brings up another point. Since this blog is all about me, and since I'm not into porn...we are going to say bye-bye.
Please continue to comment, cuz I think you people are fun...when you comment about the blog and things that are actually related to me.
Lessons Learned
1. I can't control everything....YES I CAN.
2. Crazy, stranger, oriental porn linking weirdos....you suck.
3. Oh and those mentioned in number 2...thanks for making my life just that much more difficult.
4. That's okay....I'm a pain in the neck and I am going to make your life a little more difficult too by giving you one less blog to hijack.
5. So there.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
I LOVE YOU....I'LL DANCE WITH YOU
As mentioned previously we went to the Kansas, Foreigner, Styx concert. We took with us Savannah, Noah, Baylee and Sara (Sara officially belongs to another family, but I claim her as my own).
Each child had their own little experience that made the show stand out for them, so I thought I would share the love. The best part though, was introducing our children to reality with us watching. Yes, people do drink. Yes, people do smoke. Yes, people do things that we don't. And it is okay, because they can choose...and more importantly, we don't judge. That said, it was an eye opener for everyone.
Baylee: Baylee couldn't wait for Foreigner to come on because she wanted to hear Juicebox hero. After we explained it was Jukebox hero, she was a bit disappointment, but made it up to herself by making up words to Jukebox hero as if it were really Juicebox hero...that kids has got some creativity in her bones.
Noah: Poor Noah. He was actually okay with the drinking part until the older women started rocking out and shaking their tushies in his sweet little 10 year old face. So he moved. Okay, before he moved, he leaned over and sat as close to Savannah as she would allow, then he moved. So he was sitting on the grass side obsessing about somebody starting a fire because they didn't step on their cigarette butts when they through them in the grass. Poor kid...got my OCD.
Savannah and Sara: I have to combine them because it really is all part of the same story. During Foreigners "I Wanna Know What Love Is", Savannah and Sara were being true to their age, dancing with another and having a marvelous time about it. As they slow danced with one another, they were kind of blocking the aisle...if you can call it an aisle...we were general admission sitting in the grass. So I kindly asked them to break up the love fest and let people through. As the couple that had been waiting walked through, while the girls were giggling about dancing with one another we were chuckling about what a good time we were all having. Then out of nowhere, the lady comes back (with her 24 oz beer can in hand...and I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it wasn't her first of the night.), and hugs Savannah from behind, so her beer can was in Savannah's face and she says, "I love you...I'll dance with you." Sara deftly stepped away while Felix and I dissolved into a fit of laughter. My good girl used her manners and didn't throw the woman off of her. When the lady was done dancing with Savannah she went back to her seat. Savannah looked as us and was like, "WHAT?" Okay, we thought it was hysterical for many reasons. Sara knew Savannah could handle it, so she let her. Felix and I let Savannah handle it. Noah and Baylee are still shocked there was a beer can in her face. But the punch line comes later when during Styx's performance...they came back. This time the guy grabs Sara's arm and says, "I won't let her dance with you anymore." Ummmm, dude....wrong girl.
Lessons Learned
1. Sheltered children NEED a little exposure.
2. If you can get beer in a 24 oz can, why can't I get a Caffeine free Diet Coke in anything bigger than a 20 oz bottle or go to the fountain? What's up with that?
3. Kansas, Foreigner and Styx think very, very highly of their merchandise.
4. The kids survived...barely...it took Noah's asthma a week to recover from the smoke...poor kid.
5. I'd take them again....it's good to see the other side and learn that everyone has a choice.
Each child had their own little experience that made the show stand out for them, so I thought I would share the love. The best part though, was introducing our children to reality with us watching. Yes, people do drink. Yes, people do smoke. Yes, people do things that we don't. And it is okay, because they can choose...and more importantly, we don't judge. That said, it was an eye opener for everyone.
Baylee: Baylee couldn't wait for Foreigner to come on because she wanted to hear Juicebox hero. After we explained it was Jukebox hero, she was a bit disappointment, but made it up to herself by making up words to Jukebox hero as if it were really Juicebox hero...that kids has got some creativity in her bones.
Noah: Poor Noah. He was actually okay with the drinking part until the older women started rocking out and shaking their tushies in his sweet little 10 year old face. So he moved. Okay, before he moved, he leaned over and sat as close to Savannah as she would allow, then he moved. So he was sitting on the grass side obsessing about somebody starting a fire because they didn't step on their cigarette butts when they through them in the grass. Poor kid...got my OCD.
Savannah and Sara: I have to combine them because it really is all part of the same story. During Foreigners "I Wanna Know What Love Is", Savannah and Sara were being true to their age, dancing with another and having a marvelous time about it. As they slow danced with one another, they were kind of blocking the aisle...if you can call it an aisle...we were general admission sitting in the grass. So I kindly asked them to break up the love fest and let people through. As the couple that had been waiting walked through, while the girls were giggling about dancing with one another we were chuckling about what a good time we were all having. Then out of nowhere, the lady comes back (with her 24 oz beer can in hand...and I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it wasn't her first of the night.), and hugs Savannah from behind, so her beer can was in Savannah's face and she says, "I love you...I'll dance with you." Sara deftly stepped away while Felix and I dissolved into a fit of laughter. My good girl used her manners and didn't throw the woman off of her. When the lady was done dancing with Savannah she went back to her seat. Savannah looked as us and was like, "WHAT?" Okay, we thought it was hysterical for many reasons. Sara knew Savannah could handle it, so she let her. Felix and I let Savannah handle it. Noah and Baylee are still shocked there was a beer can in her face. But the punch line comes later when during Styx's performance...they came back. This time the guy grabs Sara's arm and says, "I won't let her dance with you anymore." Ummmm, dude....wrong girl.
Lessons Learned
1. Sheltered children NEED a little exposure.
2. If you can get beer in a 24 oz can, why can't I get a Caffeine free Diet Coke in anything bigger than a 20 oz bottle or go to the fountain? What's up with that?
3. Kansas, Foreigner and Styx think very, very highly of their merchandise.
4. The kids survived...barely...it took Noah's asthma a week to recover from the smoke...poor kid.
5. I'd take them again....it's good to see the other side and learn that everyone has a choice.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Holy Cow
On our way to the Kansas, Foreigner and Styx concert Saturday night, we drove by fields full of cows. Most would complain of the smell...in our car the conversation had a few of these components.
1) Do you know that cows are producing so much methane there is a hole in the ozone layer? So do we kill all of the cows and not eat beef?
2) Felix: Holy Cow Noah: Cows aren't holy. Wendy: They are if you shoot them. Baylee: Is that where Holy Crap comes from?
You know, I was really going to post more, but as I was typing I realized we spend at least 30 minutes on the Holy Cow/Holy Crap relationship.
Lessons Learned
1. Driving in a car with my family for more than 15 minutes can cause concerning conversation.
2. They didn't start fighting until after 30 minutes...I think it's a record.
3. Thank goodness for the cows....it broke up the fight.
4. The miller sportspart is GI-NOR-MOUS.
5. I still think Holy Crap comes from Holy Cows.
1) Do you know that cows are producing so much methane there is a hole in the ozone layer? So do we kill all of the cows and not eat beef?
2) Felix: Holy Cow Noah: Cows aren't holy. Wendy: They are if you shoot them. Baylee: Is that where Holy Crap comes from?
You know, I was really going to post more, but as I was typing I realized we spend at least 30 minutes on the Holy Cow/Holy Crap relationship.
Lessons Learned
1. Driving in a car with my family for more than 15 minutes can cause concerning conversation.
2. They didn't start fighting until after 30 minutes...I think it's a record.
3. Thank goodness for the cows....it broke up the fight.
4. The miller sportspart is GI-NOR-MOUS.
5. I still think Holy Crap comes from Holy Cows.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Dumb Waiter (and NOT the Elevator Kind)
So I made a post on Facebook saying (more or less) the exact title of this post. I told the story to someone last night and she agreed it needed to go on the blog.
We haven't eaten out much lately, largely due to the food allergy issue floating through our house. And because I think my kids need to understand eating out is a privilege....NOT a right. But that is a story for another time and place.
So we go out to eat at a popular eating establishment (across the street from Los Hermanos in Lindon) that serves pizza and pasta, but shall remain nameless. We sit down and wait a while for our server. By the time he shows up we aren't just ready to order drinks, we wants us some fooooood. Three of us did salad bars, so we went and ate right away. And then we waited some more. He came back after a while...a long, long while with waters all around. And the explanation that there was a broken water main and there was no soda. OK fine. Where's the food?
After another long wait, the food comes and the server offers to discount our meal for not having soda...whatever. I always drink water anyways...so it really wasn't a big deal to me. The food finally showed up and the server said half the drinks are working, so he brought a few out....not what we had ordered, but ok.
As per the norm, Caleb starts going nuts, wants to leave...Baylee joins the bandwagon...and Savannah and Noah try to light the bandwagon on fire. The bill comes and I handed the server my debit card without looking at the bill...not the best idea, but have you met my kids?
The bill comes back and I realized we were charged for an extra meal. Okay, then there was a discount, but the discount didn't really matter anymore because it was eaten up by the extra meal that NOBODY ordered. So since the kidlets were restless, I sent everyone to the car, and I waited to let the waiter know.
Now, while our waiter took his time between visits during the meal, I could see him flittin' around here and there. Always movin' around. Funny, I get my bill and apparently he was either abducted by aliens or a giant sinkhole opened up where the water main was and sucked our poor little waiter away.
I waited....for fifteen minutes. Finally, realizing the children were trapped in the car with Felix and great grandma and I knew I had to abandon my post. So I left less than a normal tip....k, this had nothing to do with the soda...it had to do with the suspicious disappearing act when I received my inflated discounted bill. I still left a tip, but not what I normally would have. Then, because I am who I am, I left a note on the bill that I had been overcharged. Feeling somewhat vindicated...I left.
As I was leaving the hostesses (yes, there were 2) I was asked (twice) how my meal was...I replied it was fine except for the part where I was overcharged. Let me remind you...there were TWO of them (2). And in unison...that perhaps had been rehearsed...they replied, "Okay have a good night, come again."
As I shook my head and walked out the double doors, out of the corner of my eye, my waiter handed my bill to the hostesses, saw me and took off around the corner. Do you think he knew something was afoot?
Lessons Learned
1. Check the bill BEFORE you pay....even when your kids are flipping out.
2. If you have money to throw away....just walk out and keep your mouth shut.
3. If you DON'T have money to throw away, say something and don't shut up until the situation is rectified.
4. I really like pizza and pasta, I wonder if I will ever go there again or if I will have to frequent another establishment.
5. Hmmmm....dumb waiter....he totally knew the bill was wrong and he was playing hide and seek hoping to get away with it. That's okay...I just talked to the manager of the eating establishment....there are at least 2 hostesses who got busted down and I'll bet it took very little torture before they gave up the waiter to THE MAN. Victory is mine.
We haven't eaten out much lately, largely due to the food allergy issue floating through our house. And because I think my kids need to understand eating out is a privilege....NOT a right. But that is a story for another time and place.
So we go out to eat at a popular eating establishment (across the street from Los Hermanos in Lindon) that serves pizza and pasta, but shall remain nameless. We sit down and wait a while for our server. By the time he shows up we aren't just ready to order drinks, we wants us some fooooood. Three of us did salad bars, so we went and ate right away. And then we waited some more. He came back after a while...a long, long while with waters all around. And the explanation that there was a broken water main and there was no soda. OK fine. Where's the food?
After another long wait, the food comes and the server offers to discount our meal for not having soda...whatever. I always drink water anyways...so it really wasn't a big deal to me. The food finally showed up and the server said half the drinks are working, so he brought a few out....not what we had ordered, but ok.
As per the norm, Caleb starts going nuts, wants to leave...Baylee joins the bandwagon...and Savannah and Noah try to light the bandwagon on fire. The bill comes and I handed the server my debit card without looking at the bill...not the best idea, but have you met my kids?
The bill comes back and I realized we were charged for an extra meal. Okay, then there was a discount, but the discount didn't really matter anymore because it was eaten up by the extra meal that NOBODY ordered. So since the kidlets were restless, I sent everyone to the car, and I waited to let the waiter know.
Now, while our waiter took his time between visits during the meal, I could see him flittin' around here and there. Always movin' around. Funny, I get my bill and apparently he was either abducted by aliens or a giant sinkhole opened up where the water main was and sucked our poor little waiter away.
I waited....for fifteen minutes. Finally, realizing the children were trapped in the car with Felix and great grandma and I knew I had to abandon my post. So I left less than a normal tip....k, this had nothing to do with the soda...it had to do with the suspicious disappearing act when I received my inflated discounted bill. I still left a tip, but not what I normally would have. Then, because I am who I am, I left a note on the bill that I had been overcharged. Feeling somewhat vindicated...I left.
As I was leaving the hostesses (yes, there were 2) I was asked (twice) how my meal was...I replied it was fine except for the part where I was overcharged. Let me remind you...there were TWO of them (2). And in unison...that perhaps had been rehearsed...they replied, "Okay have a good night, come again."
As I shook my head and walked out the double doors, out of the corner of my eye, my waiter handed my bill to the hostesses, saw me and took off around the corner. Do you think he knew something was afoot?
Lessons Learned
1. Check the bill BEFORE you pay....even when your kids are flipping out.
2. If you have money to throw away....just walk out and keep your mouth shut.
3. If you DON'T have money to throw away, say something and don't shut up until the situation is rectified.
4. I really like pizza and pasta, I wonder if I will ever go there again or if I will have to frequent another establishment.
5. Hmmmm....dumb waiter....he totally knew the bill was wrong and he was playing hide and seek hoping to get away with it. That's okay...I just talked to the manager of the eating establishment....there are at least 2 hostesses who got busted down and I'll bet it took very little torture before they gave up the waiter to THE MAN. Victory is mine.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Why?
I love my kids...but they (on occassion) talk too much. Caleb in particular. I think since he has 3 very vocal siblings...he has to get what he can while they aren't around. This is just from one day. ONE DAY.
"Why are we here?"
"Why do we have ears?"
"Why do we swallow?"
"Can I stop swallowing?"
"What if somebody killed Jesus and he stayed dead?"
"What if somebody killed me and I stayed dead?"
"When you die, can I have the house?"
"Why do you say in a minute?"
"What if I want it now?"
"Did you see that? Me neither."
"Why can't I have that?"
"Why did you tell me no again?"
"Why do we sleep?"
"Why does it get dark?"
"Why can't I be the boss of me?"
"How'd you see me do that?"
"Why is it a bad choice?"
And so on and so forth...that is but a mere portion of the fun that he and I have on a daily, hourly, minutely (is that a word) basis. Just thought I'd share.
Lessons Learned
1. Great minds think alike.
2. Even if I'm not asking the questions, at least I know someone is.
3. There is never a dull moment around here.
4. It's a wonder my ears don't bleed from the lack of silence.
5. It is WAY better than quiet...WAY better.
"Why are we here?"
"Why do we have ears?"
"Why do we swallow?"
"Can I stop swallowing?"
"What if somebody killed Jesus and he stayed dead?"
"What if somebody killed me and I stayed dead?"
"When you die, can I have the house?"
"Why do you say in a minute?"
"What if I want it now?"
"Did you see that? Me neither."
"Why can't I have that?"
"Why did you tell me no again?"
"Why do we sleep?"
"Why does it get dark?"
"Why can't I be the boss of me?"
"How'd you see me do that?"
"Why is it a bad choice?"
And so on and so forth...that is but a mere portion of the fun that he and I have on a daily, hourly, minutely (is that a word) basis. Just thought I'd share.
Lessons Learned
1. Great minds think alike.
2. Even if I'm not asking the questions, at least I know someone is.
3. There is never a dull moment around here.
4. It's a wonder my ears don't bleed from the lack of silence.
5. It is WAY better than quiet...WAY better.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
That's so Corny
So Noah has recently been diagnosed with a myriad of food allergies. It can't be eggplant can it? Oh no.........it has to be big and dramatic and frustrating.
Here's the list:
Corn
Yeast
Bell Peppers
Chicken
Turkey
Fish/Shellfish
Cashews
Pistachios
Mangos
Really? Oh yeah, baby, really. So being the mom that I am, I have tried to do this right along with him. We have purchased Feast without Yeast and The Corn Free Diet and Survival Guide because I decided those would be the two that were the hardest. And I was right.
Did you know that there is corn starch in EVERYTHING. For example: Pre-shredded cheese...we wouldn't want to clump now, would we? How 'bout a dryer sheet, yes a dryer sheet. Then there is the lotions, toilet paper, most paper products. And of course how could we forget our friend, High Fructose corn syrup...everything. I'm thinking we may have to get NG tubes for feeding, but the mix probably has corn in it.
After the first week of shock that I am going to have to actually learn how to cook, I am trying to see this as a blessing in disguise. Keyword: trying.
We don't need to put all of this garbage into our systems. The yeast part...well, I'm still pretty frustrated about the yeast part...that is another rant for a different day. The focus right now is trying to rid the house of as much corn and corn by products as possible. The big stuff: boom, gone...no problem. But now I get to call the manufacturers of basics like toilet paper, shampoo, toothpaste, etc...why? The majority of products out there have corn in them. sigh.
I used to really like corn. Now, I think it's Satans vegetable.
Lessons Learned
1. Cookbooks come in handy.
2. So does Amazon.
3. Noah is infinitely more patient than I am when it comes to food.
4. As a wise friend said, "It's okay to grieve the loss of food."
5. Why do RICE chex have CORN in them?
Here's the list:
Corn
Yeast
Bell Peppers
Chicken
Turkey
Fish/Shellfish
Cashews
Pistachios
Mangos
Really? Oh yeah, baby, really. So being the mom that I am, I have tried to do this right along with him. We have purchased Feast without Yeast and The Corn Free Diet and Survival Guide because I decided those would be the two that were the hardest. And I was right.
Did you know that there is corn starch in EVERYTHING. For example: Pre-shredded cheese...we wouldn't want to clump now, would we? How 'bout a dryer sheet, yes a dryer sheet. Then there is the lotions, toilet paper, most paper products. And of course how could we forget our friend, High Fructose corn syrup...everything. I'm thinking we may have to get NG tubes for feeding, but the mix probably has corn in it.
After the first week of shock that I am going to have to actually learn how to cook, I am trying to see this as a blessing in disguise. Keyword: trying.
We don't need to put all of this garbage into our systems. The yeast part...well, I'm still pretty frustrated about the yeast part...that is another rant for a different day. The focus right now is trying to rid the house of as much corn and corn by products as possible. The big stuff: boom, gone...no problem. But now I get to call the manufacturers of basics like toilet paper, shampoo, toothpaste, etc...why? The majority of products out there have corn in them. sigh.
I used to really like corn. Now, I think it's Satans vegetable.
Lessons Learned
1. Cookbooks come in handy.
2. So does Amazon.
3. Noah is infinitely more patient than I am when it comes to food.
4. As a wise friend said, "It's okay to grieve the loss of food."
5. Why do RICE chex have CORN in them?
Friday, April 30, 2010
5....FINALLY
You can refer to my post in April/May of 2009 regarding Calebs birthday to understand what a momentus occasion this is for us.
And of course he wouldn't be still long enough to take his picture.
The entire last year has been peppered with "I hate being 4." and in the first half of the year, "Why can't I still be three?" and the second half of the year, "When can I be 5? I hate four."
No, really. I have never seen a kid have such distaste for his age, but he did.
Luckily we all survived, with only one broken bone, one mysterious disappearance and more funny comments than I can count.
We're lucky to have him, I think we'll keep him.
The entire last year has been peppered with "I hate being 4." and in the first half of the year, "Why can't I still be three?" and the second half of the year, "When can I be 5? I hate four."
No, really. I have never seen a kid have such distaste for his age, but he did.
Luckily we all survived, with only one broken bone, one mysterious disappearance and more funny comments than I can count.
We're lucky to have him, I think we'll keep him.
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