When reading the title of this post, make sure to say THOSE with that lilt in your voice. You know the one...you tend to use it with nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Okay, moving on....
I will be the first to admit that large number of my days are THOSE days. I am not ashamed to admit it. But even for me, in the twisted little world I live in, it was one of THOSE days.
It's Saturday. I went to bed last night with the intention of sleeping in. I never get to sleep in...never, ever, never, ever to infinity plus one (I win). I should have recognized the signs right away. The first and most obvious sign, was that everyone went to bed, on time AND without a fight...that signals DOOMSDAY in the biggest way imaginable. Why I didn't pick up on it, I will never know. My guess, I would too tired to recognize the signs...that is how much I wanted to sleep. In fact, it was so obvious, that if it were 20 feet tall in my living room, smoking a cigar while dancing a jig, it couldn't have been more obvious than it already was. Well, now that I feel I have made my point I can continue knowing that I got at least one thing right today.
So as we all tried to softly drift into a night of peaceful, dreamless sleep...Caleb popped in at about 10:30 scared out of his mind. After an hour of calming him down we both settled back in at around 11:30. At 12:30, the first nightmare hit. At 2:30, it was about time for Caleb to have a potty break. At 5:30, well, who knows...I was just awake...splendid. So my plan for sleeping in was thwarted by the three year olds imagination and bladder. Okey dokey.
At 7:30 I decided I should go to the store. Why? Well, I don't know about your house, but at mine, when every body wakes, they have all developed this strange habit of needing to 'use the facilities'. And since I was out of toilet paper, I could see the DOOM spelled out. Since Baylee was up, I figured she could go with me. It had been a bit of a difficult week for the two of us, and I was hoping to show her that on some level, we still liked each other.
Off we went. We had a perfectly lovely time buying toilet paper and paper towels and all of the good things that families are founded on. She had a few bucks, so she did her own bit of shopping. We checked out and headed to the car, at which point she decided that she wanted a drink. Ummmmm, no. I had already paid, and there was NO WAY I was getting back in line. So instead, I was the proud recipient of the tantrum of the century all the way home. It was SO fun...you should all be jealous. By the time we got home, she had earned 20 minutes in time out. Probably a good thing....I think she has become accustomed to breathing. So off to time out she went. After fifteen good solid minutes of screaming about being thirsty, I finally chucked a bottle of water her way. And her response? Just know that this is a true story. Her response was, "I wanted ice." You have got to be kidding me. Seriously, I can't make this stuff up...even with my imagination, I am NOT that good.
As soon as the ice comment hit, Savannah was all over me about taking her to the store, because how dare I play favorites...because that it was I always do. My children haven't clued in to the fact, that everything I do is actually an extreme right wing conspiracy. So off to the store we go. We head to Target first, because she is sure that the exact pen she wants is there. And after 20 minutes of looking, checking with a Target employee and calling the friend that had the pen...we tripped upon the discovery, that Target does not carry that. But Justice does. Too bad Justice doesn't open for another 30 minutes. But lucky, lucky me I was treated to the explanation that all bad things in the world are my fault. I am glad she told me, I didn't know.
Once we got home, Noah had a coniption fit about not getting a turn to the store. Of course. Why not...that is all I had planned for the day...shopping....for nothing....with crabby children.
I struck a bargain with them and said if they hurried and got their chores done, we could take more trip out. Felix had to head to work to fix a problem, so I was left to enjoy the crabbiness that had eeked in to every pore.
They started their chores. Too bad they weren't as excited about finishing. They were really good about getting going...unfortunately, Caleb decided at about this time he was a high flying trapeze monkey ninja. After a series of 'Hiyahs' and assorted kicks and punches into thin air, he started tackling Savannah and Baylee who were absolutely thrilled by the attention. So thrilled in fact, that they spent thirty minutes screaming about how nothing ever got done around the house unless they did it, and had to deal with Caleb ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Somewhere around here Caleb started calling everybody a stupid punk, holding up his fists and telling them to bring it on. Too bad for him, they did. The brawl was somewhat reminiscent of the fights in Bugs Bunny cartoons, where all you can see is an occasional limb and a big dust cloud.
Finally, everyone settled down. They finished up the bare minimum and off to the store we went. First to Justice. I believe we were in the store a whole 30 seconds when Felix called to say he was done. And folks, I am not as stupid as I look. I called for reinforcements. While he was on his way, Caleb decided that this was the perfect time to have a POOPY attack. We find the bathroom and the apathetic pooper took FOR-EV-ER. By the time he was done, Felix was at the store. He took the boys, I perused with the girls.
Okay...I am seriously not a fan of shopping. Going with two girls who LOVE it, was slightly excrutiating. HATED IT. But they had a good time. Once finished, I called Felix and found out they were at the game store...headed over. Arrived just in time to stop the travesty of a 3 game purchase...I don't think so. When chores start getting done without fighting, I am all about new games...not before.
Then of course, we have to stop back at Felixs' office to get something that had been overlooked. Hurrying as quickly as possible, we got home (barely) since Caleb decided to unbuckle and hide in the car, which nearly gave us all panic attacks. Caleb was so mad at us for being mad at him, he put himself in bed and took a nap. Works for me.
We settled in for a movie and left the children to join us to go do their own thing. After a while, a few friends came over and the chaos ensued. I'm still not quite sure how many marshmallows and gallons of hot chocolate were sacrified to destroy my kitchen. They are martyrs for their cause....
Once the movie was over, I just wasn't hungry. Which usually means I am not cooking. Sorry to the rest of the family...you are ON YOUR OWN. I headed up to chill for a bit. Then Caleb decided that he needed a bath...and he was right. That went really smoothly. It is nice to know that kind of thing can still happen. After his bath Caleb was hungry, and YAY Noah offered to make him a sandwich for dinner.
After about 15 minutes, Caleb came up with a plate full of Nilla Wafers and whipped cream. I didn't want to know. I really didn't. So for as long as I possibly could...I went to that little safe place in my head and pretended like everything was okay. Then I realized that I had to go and put another load of laundry in. Bah humbug.
I made almost all the way down the stairs. ALMOST. I was so close, I could taste it. Really. Because there was whipped cream all over the floor. In order to go an get the mop to clean the mess I had to wade through the sticky goo. I had a major dejavu moment of going to a very old, very not clean movie theater. We have all been there at one point or another...the one that has 10 years of sticky on it. And in order to take a step you have to assist your legs with your hands in order to pull your feet of the floor.
Then I get to clean the floor. It was 9 o'clock and I didn't have anything better to do. Then I found the hot chocolate spill that was left to blend in to the background of the granite countertop. Picking a black counter really has it perks...this wasn't one of them. It hides WAY too much. So off to clean the spill. Which of course sets off my OCD tendency and then I have to clean the entire kitchen and mop the kitchen, living room and entry. YAY ME.
So that comes to really close to now. I was so irritated that I tried to play the piano. And my James Bond was way meaner than it should have been. So I decided to get it all out and write it on a blog entry. And you know what. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, feel better. Thanks for listening...or reading or whatever. But I do have good news. The kids are very anti-going to bed...it may be a good night after all.
Lessons Learned
1. When I get mad, I get REALLY, REALLY mad...I need to do a better job of emoting so that it all balances out better.
2. When I get mad, my kitchen gets REALLY, REALLY clean...maybe I shouldn't do a better job of emoting...my house would at least get clean.
3. When I get mad, my kids think it is REALLY, REALLY funny...am I doing it wrong?
4. When I get mad, it doesn't take to long before I feel REALLY, REALLY guilty...now I know I am doing it wrong.
5. When I get mad, I get REALLY, REALLY tired...which is how this whole mess started in the first place.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Random Question of the Day
Since you release methane when you fart and methane weighs more than oxygen, if you are trying to lose weight, should you take Beano a couple of hours before you weigh?
Lessons Learned
1. Really?
2. People have actually done studies on this kind of stuff...no wonder the government is in debt.
3. My mind is a frightening kind of maze with all sorts of weird turns that hold all sorts of different things.
4. I am starting to think that I am moving from good crazy to bad crazy.
5. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm....I think the question says it all.... don't you?
Lessons Learned
1. Really?
2. People have actually done studies on this kind of stuff...no wonder the government is in debt.
3. My mind is a frightening kind of maze with all sorts of weird turns that hold all sorts of different things.
4. I am starting to think that I am moving from good crazy to bad crazy.
5. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm....I think the question says it all.... don't you?
Sunday, December 7, 2008
An Attention Span of a Gnat
I am sure that you are automatically thinking, oh it must be her kids. Sadly no. It is me.
My husband and I went on a wonderful date last night. We decided to really do something special and we went out to the symphony to see Mozarts Requiem. It is really pretty funny that we would end up at the symphony because Felix is a major Metal Head, while I am the soundtrack and pop queen. However, although our tastes are extraordinarily different, we do share a love of classical music. Sorry Mozart, as much as we love you, Bach is our favorite.
We left several hours before we needed to be there with the intention of having a nice dinner beforehand. Unforetunately, I hadn't been up to Salt Lake for quite a while and didn't realize it had turned into Little LA. The traffic was immense and I loved how every single route around Abravanel Hall was doing construction and at some point or another narrowed down to a single lane. So after two hours stuck in traffic (and a solid half an hour behind one of the horse drawn carriages...don't go there, it isn't pretty), we finally made it to the venue and found a modern day miracle: Free Parking. We walked into Abravanel Hall exactly 18 minutes before it began.
Felix and I are not social butterflies, we spent a few minutes meandering through the crowd, and as soon as possible went to our seats. We followed the instructions sent to us by email (the one that said it would make us look like seasoned symphony goers) and studiously read the programs.
The lights dimmed, the instruments tuned up and all of the last minute people rushed in and stepped on the feet of all of the people who sat down early. Eventually everyone was settled and the conductor came on stage.
The first soft strains of music rapturously filled the air and the musical scene was set in front of us. The music was like colors filling the air. First the air was filled with swirls of pastels, followed by bright and brilliant colors. At the crescendo, the deep, rich hues permeated the air and surrounded you. It was phenomenal. The second piece included an amazing sopranoand mezzo soprano, and it too was amazing.
Next came the intermission. And being the seasoned symphony folk we are, we played games on our Blackberrys, updated Facebook profiles and sporadically threw out as many composers names as we possibly could. Uh, yeah, we wanted to look good. And our abundent knowledge of Chopin, Van Gogh, Dvorak, Picasso, Beethoven (as well as other composers and artists) made us look AWESOME.
Again the lights dimmed, setting the tone for next piece, the Requiem itself. As the soprano, mezzo soprano, tenor and bass joined the musicians on stage, we got ready for a real treat. And it was.
The first five minutes were undeniably incredible. It was in minute six I realized that I the attention span of a gnat. At one of the crescendos, I had a vision of the amazing Light Saber battle in Star Wars: Phantom Menace. The next twenty minutes or so went a little something like this:
Light Saber Battle: Wondering if John Williams was a huge fan of Mozart
Orchestra: What kind of hair product does the conductor use...his hair is really shiny and bouncy.
Light Saber Battle: Wouldn't it be cool to put the TV on mute and play the requiem while watching the light saber battle?
Orchestra: It is soooooooo cool that all of the bows of the violinists move up and down at exactly the same time...how very calming.
Home: I wonder if the kids have killed each other yet.
Light Saber Battle: I think this would be the part that Quaigon Jin is about to die(I have no idea how to spell that)
Home: It is so cool knowing my kids would really like to see this themselves.
Right around here Felix leans over and points out that part sounds kind of like Queens Bohemian Rhapsody. Which sparks another lapse of attention.
Queen: Hmmmmm, I wonder if Freddie Mercury liked Mozart.
Light Saber Battle: If you close your eyes you can see Darth Maul and Quaigon on the stage.
Home: They haven't texted in a while, maybe they really are dead.
Queen: I wonder if there are any other Queen songs that sound like Mozart. I wonder if Freddie Mercury could manage as one of the soloists, and which one?
Light Saber Battle: It looks like Freddie Mercury joined in.
Orchestra: That guy on the drums is so cool. How long does it take to become a percussionist?
Queen: Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia, let me go...................
Light Saber Battle: I really like John Williams.
Home: I wonder if the kids will be mad if we stop to get something to eat?
Orchestra: These guys are amazing singers, I wonder how they learn to sing in a foreign language.
I think you kind of get the idea. Overall it was fabulous and I had a wonderful time.
Lessons Learned
1. I really do like classical music, even if I tend to wander.
2. It was fun to have a date that wasn't movies and popcorn.
3. I am so amazed at the musical gifts of others...I wonder if they know how much joy they bring to the world?
4. I might have to try the opera next...just so I can say I've been there.
5. I don't just love my husband...I really like him too.
My husband and I went on a wonderful date last night. We decided to really do something special and we went out to the symphony to see Mozarts Requiem. It is really pretty funny that we would end up at the symphony because Felix is a major Metal Head, while I am the soundtrack and pop queen. However, although our tastes are extraordinarily different, we do share a love of classical music. Sorry Mozart, as much as we love you, Bach is our favorite.
We left several hours before we needed to be there with the intention of having a nice dinner beforehand. Unforetunately, I hadn't been up to Salt Lake for quite a while and didn't realize it had turned into Little LA. The traffic was immense and I loved how every single route around Abravanel Hall was doing construction and at some point or another narrowed down to a single lane. So after two hours stuck in traffic (and a solid half an hour behind one of the horse drawn carriages...don't go there, it isn't pretty), we finally made it to the venue and found a modern day miracle: Free Parking. We walked into Abravanel Hall exactly 18 minutes before it began.
Felix and I are not social butterflies, we spent a few minutes meandering through the crowd, and as soon as possible went to our seats. We followed the instructions sent to us by email (the one that said it would make us look like seasoned symphony goers) and studiously read the programs.
The lights dimmed, the instruments tuned up and all of the last minute people rushed in and stepped on the feet of all of the people who sat down early. Eventually everyone was settled and the conductor came on stage.
The first soft strains of music rapturously filled the air and the musical scene was set in front of us. The music was like colors filling the air. First the air was filled with swirls of pastels, followed by bright and brilliant colors. At the crescendo, the deep, rich hues permeated the air and surrounded you. It was phenomenal. The second piece included an amazing sopranoand mezzo soprano, and it too was amazing.
Next came the intermission. And being the seasoned symphony folk we are, we played games on our Blackberrys, updated Facebook profiles and sporadically threw out as many composers names as we possibly could. Uh, yeah, we wanted to look good. And our abundent knowledge of Chopin, Van Gogh, Dvorak, Picasso, Beethoven (as well as other composers and artists) made us look AWESOME.
Again the lights dimmed, setting the tone for next piece, the Requiem itself. As the soprano, mezzo soprano, tenor and bass joined the musicians on stage, we got ready for a real treat. And it was.
The first five minutes were undeniably incredible. It was in minute six I realized that I the attention span of a gnat. At one of the crescendos, I had a vision of the amazing Light Saber battle in Star Wars: Phantom Menace. The next twenty minutes or so went a little something like this:
Light Saber Battle: Wondering if John Williams was a huge fan of Mozart
Orchestra: What kind of hair product does the conductor use...his hair is really shiny and bouncy.
Light Saber Battle: Wouldn't it be cool to put the TV on mute and play the requiem while watching the light saber battle?
Orchestra: It is soooooooo cool that all of the bows of the violinists move up and down at exactly the same time...how very calming.
Home: I wonder if the kids have killed each other yet.
Light Saber Battle: I think this would be the part that Quaigon Jin is about to die(I have no idea how to spell that)
Home: It is so cool knowing my kids would really like to see this themselves.
Right around here Felix leans over and points out that part sounds kind of like Queens Bohemian Rhapsody. Which sparks another lapse of attention.
Queen: Hmmmmm, I wonder if Freddie Mercury liked Mozart.
Light Saber Battle: If you close your eyes you can see Darth Maul and Quaigon on the stage.
Home: They haven't texted in a while, maybe they really are dead.
Queen: I wonder if there are any other Queen songs that sound like Mozart. I wonder if Freddie Mercury could manage as one of the soloists, and which one?
Light Saber Battle: It looks like Freddie Mercury joined in.
Orchestra: That guy on the drums is so cool. How long does it take to become a percussionist?
Queen: Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia, let me go...................
Light Saber Battle: I really like John Williams.
Home: I wonder if the kids will be mad if we stop to get something to eat?
Orchestra: These guys are amazing singers, I wonder how they learn to sing in a foreign language.
I think you kind of get the idea. Overall it was fabulous and I had a wonderful time.
Lessons Learned
1. I really do like classical music, even if I tend to wander.
2. It was fun to have a date that wasn't movies and popcorn.
3. I am so amazed at the musical gifts of others...I wonder if they know how much joy they bring to the world?
4. I might have to try the opera next...just so I can say I've been there.
5. I don't just love my husband...I really like him too.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Would You Like A Side Of Hives With That?
Okay...this is over a week old, but that doesn't make it any less of a story worthy to be told.
A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away....Oh wait, sorry, I had my Princess Leia hair buns on and forgot which story I was telling. Let me try again.
Last Tuesday night, we were trying to find a decent dinner (which means I wasn't cooking...solved that problem), that didn't cost too much. We settled on the high side, and went for Kneaders. A good sandwich on yummy bread sounded quite tasty. We all ordered sat down and then I spent a few minutes meandering through all of the wonderful Christmas decorations that I couldn't afford.
Our food came out pretty quickly and it was a good thing, cause I was starving and so were the kids. I went for my favorite Chicken Pesto Panini, and the kids voted on Chicken Salad. YUM-O. I was making an incredible dent on my panini and Savannah inhaled half of her first half. I asked her how it was and she stopped and said, "What's in this sandwich?" I was like, ummm, chicken...it is chicken salad after all. She said my mouth feels funny...it is starting to itch. At which point she started to cry. She said her mouth was burning. Felix and I started to look at her sandwich, were we discovered a small stash of walnuts, gently surrounded by the soft blankets of mayo. So sweet. So innocent looking. But, here it comes, UH-OH.
At about the same moment we realized there were walnuts in the sandwich we both looked at Savannah and watched as her lips turned into duck bills (quick side note---if you haven't figured it out, Savannah is allergic to walnuts). Felix grabbed his jacket, grabbed her and started running to the Instacare across the street. I was about 15 feet behind them yelling about the fact that I didn't have my purse, my phone or my keys.
Unforetunately for me, and for Kneaders, he didn't hear me. So I went and got to go boxes and told the boys we were packing up. On the good side, Baylee was in California so that was one less kid I had to finagle. We packed up all of the food and just then, Caleb decided to drop his drink on the floor. As I was practicing my contortionist skills trying to get the cup off of the floor without having to actually GET ON the floor, I knocked over Felix's drink. And of course, Noah took a direct hit. I grabbed as many napkins as I thought was legal (I wouldn't want to be nabbed for obscene kleptomania of paper linens), and proceeded to clean up the mess as best I could. I went and found a cute Kneader worker who said no worries, she'll take care of it. While I had her at my disposal, I explained that I would be back to pick up my car because my daughter had an allergic reaction (Kneaders in Orem has a time limit in their parking lot...hence my goody two shoesiness in letting them know I might go over my allotted time). But Kneaders peoples are WONDERFUL, and she said no big.
So I gathered my sons, the food, the drinks and said head out. Noah, in a very Calvin Klein model walk type of thing, threw his jacket over one of his shoulders and knocked over a porcelain Christmas tree, that shattered into a million and one pieces. I counted...it was a million and one. I took the largest shard I could find up to the register, explained AGAIN that I was stranded and when I came to pick up my car I would pay for the tree. Poor Kneaders people...they just at me and said, "Just go. Really. Just go." Okay, okay. I know it sounds a little harsh, but they really just wanted me to get to Savannah. I'm sure of it.
Now I was outside with the boys, the food and the drinks and we were heading to the crosswalk in the dark. Because that was where I had imagined myself that night...in the dark, at a crosswalk with my boys and load in my arms, trying to cross the street. With a skillful balancing act I managed to get across the street, not drop anything and hopefully have the same amount of people at the far end. AND WE DID IT...YAY.
I charge into the Instacare, find out where Savannah is and like push forward like a mama bear to get to my ailing baby. I walk into the room, and her duck lips were still there. They had her hooked up to all sorts of machines and were coming in to give her a bohonkus shot. Felix looked at me and wondered why I wasn't answering my cell phone. So I went back to the part of the story where I was chasing him out of Kneaders like a psycho yelling about my lack of purse, cell phone AND keys. It was kind of like a reverse mugging. His response really summed up the stress of the moment, "Oh." That was it, just, "Oh." It was nice to know I wasn't the only one who got stressed out enough to not say anything.
We decided it was in Savannahs best interest if I got the boys out of there and let her have her daddy with her (since he was the hero who whisked her off into the darkness to save her from the painful allergy foe).
I got to have the best dejavu moment ever, trying to get back across the street. It was harder the second time. I think Caleb thought he had already done it once and could do it by himself the second time. And as the mommy, ummmm, no. You will hold on to me and you will like it.
We made and got into the car, still no purse, still on phone, but yahoo I had keys and could escape from the Kneaders time limit Aytch Eeeee Double Hockey Sticks parking lot. I took refuge at my parents house up the street waiting to hear what the next step for Savannah was. Fortunately, she had an immediate reaction to the injection and was doing wonderful. She did have to stay on mega doses of Benadryl for a few days because she ingested the walnuts and was going to keep having reactions...and that was WAY fun...I know, you all want to be me...who could blame you?
Lessons Learned
1. When it comes to children, always expect the unexpected.
2. Daddys can do just as good of a job as mommies...but mommies don't want them to know that. (It is how we STAY the center of the universe)
3. Savannah is a tough cookie.
4. I will forever be asking if there are walnuts in that.
5. Epipens are so cool looking.
A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away....Oh wait, sorry, I had my Princess Leia hair buns on and forgot which story I was telling. Let me try again.
Last Tuesday night, we were trying to find a decent dinner (which means I wasn't cooking...solved that problem), that didn't cost too much. We settled on the high side, and went for Kneaders. A good sandwich on yummy bread sounded quite tasty. We all ordered sat down and then I spent a few minutes meandering through all of the wonderful Christmas decorations that I couldn't afford.
Our food came out pretty quickly and it was a good thing, cause I was starving and so were the kids. I went for my favorite Chicken Pesto Panini, and the kids voted on Chicken Salad. YUM-O. I was making an incredible dent on my panini and Savannah inhaled half of her first half. I asked her how it was and she stopped and said, "What's in this sandwich?" I was like, ummm, chicken...it is chicken salad after all. She said my mouth feels funny...it is starting to itch. At which point she started to cry. She said her mouth was burning. Felix and I started to look at her sandwich, were we discovered a small stash of walnuts, gently surrounded by the soft blankets of mayo. So sweet. So innocent looking. But, here it comes, UH-OH.
At about the same moment we realized there were walnuts in the sandwich we both looked at Savannah and watched as her lips turned into duck bills (quick side note---if you haven't figured it out, Savannah is allergic to walnuts). Felix grabbed his jacket, grabbed her and started running to the Instacare across the street. I was about 15 feet behind them yelling about the fact that I didn't have my purse, my phone or my keys.
Unforetunately for me, and for Kneaders, he didn't hear me. So I went and got to go boxes and told the boys we were packing up. On the good side, Baylee was in California so that was one less kid I had to finagle. We packed up all of the food and just then, Caleb decided to drop his drink on the floor. As I was practicing my contortionist skills trying to get the cup off of the floor without having to actually GET ON the floor, I knocked over Felix's drink. And of course, Noah took a direct hit. I grabbed as many napkins as I thought was legal (I wouldn't want to be nabbed for obscene kleptomania of paper linens), and proceeded to clean up the mess as best I could. I went and found a cute Kneader worker who said no worries, she'll take care of it. While I had her at my disposal, I explained that I would be back to pick up my car because my daughter had an allergic reaction (Kneaders in Orem has a time limit in their parking lot...hence my goody two shoesiness in letting them know I might go over my allotted time). But Kneaders peoples are WONDERFUL, and she said no big.
So I gathered my sons, the food, the drinks and said head out. Noah, in a very Calvin Klein model walk type of thing, threw his jacket over one of his shoulders and knocked over a porcelain Christmas tree, that shattered into a million and one pieces. I counted...it was a million and one. I took the largest shard I could find up to the register, explained AGAIN that I was stranded and when I came to pick up my car I would pay for the tree. Poor Kneaders people...they just at me and said, "Just go. Really. Just go." Okay, okay. I know it sounds a little harsh, but they really just wanted me to get to Savannah. I'm sure of it.
Now I was outside with the boys, the food and the drinks and we were heading to the crosswalk in the dark. Because that was where I had imagined myself that night...in the dark, at a crosswalk with my boys and load in my arms, trying to cross the street. With a skillful balancing act I managed to get across the street, not drop anything and hopefully have the same amount of people at the far end. AND WE DID IT...YAY.
I charge into the Instacare, find out where Savannah is and like push forward like a mama bear to get to my ailing baby. I walk into the room, and her duck lips were still there. They had her hooked up to all sorts of machines and were coming in to give her a bohonkus shot. Felix looked at me and wondered why I wasn't answering my cell phone. So I went back to the part of the story where I was chasing him out of Kneaders like a psycho yelling about my lack of purse, cell phone AND keys. It was kind of like a reverse mugging. His response really summed up the stress of the moment, "Oh." That was it, just, "Oh." It was nice to know I wasn't the only one who got stressed out enough to not say anything.
We decided it was in Savannahs best interest if I got the boys out of there and let her have her daddy with her (since he was the hero who whisked her off into the darkness to save her from the painful allergy foe).
I got to have the best dejavu moment ever, trying to get back across the street. It was harder the second time. I think Caleb thought he had already done it once and could do it by himself the second time. And as the mommy, ummmm, no. You will hold on to me and you will like it.
We made and got into the car, still no purse, still on phone, but yahoo I had keys and could escape from the Kneaders time limit Aytch Eeeee Double Hockey Sticks parking lot. I took refuge at my parents house up the street waiting to hear what the next step for Savannah was. Fortunately, she had an immediate reaction to the injection and was doing wonderful. She did have to stay on mega doses of Benadryl for a few days because she ingested the walnuts and was going to keep having reactions...and that was WAY fun...I know, you all want to be me...who could blame you?
Lessons Learned
1. When it comes to children, always expect the unexpected.
2. Daddys can do just as good of a job as mommies...but mommies don't want them to know that. (It is how we STAY the center of the universe)
3. Savannah is a tough cookie.
4. I will forever be asking if there are walnuts in that.
5. Epipens are so cool looking.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
I Got Tagged...BUGGER
Darn it. I hate these socials posts. I really much prefer to pretend like nobody knows me and cares what I have to say. But here goes...
1. Go to your pictures file.
2. Go to the 4th file.
3. Go to the 4th picture.
4. Post it and tell the story.
This is Calebs bum. October 2006. His first 'real' Halloween. He had only been walking for maybe a week or two and was still faster at escaping on his knees. He couldn't figure out why he had weird clothes on and was even more freaked out by how his siblings looked. At this point he had given up and headed home.
I tag:
Christopher
Todd
Christy
Savannah
1. Go to your pictures file.
2. Go to the 4th file.
3. Go to the 4th picture.
4. Post it and tell the story.
This is Calebs bum. October 2006. His first 'real' Halloween. He had only been walking for maybe a week or two and was still faster at escaping on his knees. He couldn't figure out why he had weird clothes on and was even more freaked out by how his siblings looked. At this point he had given up and headed home.
I tag:
Christopher
Todd
Christy
Savannah
Sunday, November 16, 2008
The 'Official' Bane of My Existance
Okay...it is absolutely official. I have found the Bane of My Existance (doesn't it seem so much more official in Capital Letters?).
On occasion I will go through previous posts (to really appreciate where I am right now)...and I have picked up on a common thread...Any Guesses? Come on, it really is pretty obvious. Plumbing and Water. DDUUUUUUUHHHHHHH.
Which brings me to todays' post. Yesterday, we decided to be completely super industrious. So we embarked on our adventure in cleaning the garage. Now that we had the shed and a place to put everything, maybe we should actually put it there.
So we get everything moved out and realized EEWWWWWWW GROSS. We moved the carpet that was by the entrance to the house and found like an inch of dirt underneath. At this point, we realized sweeping was NOT enough. All that sweeping would do is move the dust around and as soon as we turned our backs, it would settle.
As we were in such an incredible worker bee type mood, we decided to hook a hose up to the spigot in the garage...we should really thank the original owners of the house for all of the wonderful ideas they had when building the house. As usual, we had to take it one step further...we put Dawn on the garage floor so we could scrub up all of the grease and gross that was EVERYWHERE.
We go to put the hose on, and realize the little turny handle thing is gone. I am fairly certain that is disappeared right after we moved in 10 years ago and Savannah had a ball turning the water on and off. Hence, the disappearing little turny handle thing.
But, that's OK. Why? Because we have tools. Lots and lots of tools. So we find an awesome little teeny, tiny wrench that fits the little deely bobber perfectly. And we turn the hose on. GREAT...until I get drenched because somebody didn't tighten the hose to the spigot. And then we turn it off. And then we tighten it. And then we turn it on and BEGIN. We get out the brooms and methodically scrub and scrub and scrub the garage floor.
A good, solid hour later we are done. And we go to turn the water off. I said, We go to turn the water off. Ahem, excuse me...WE GO TO TURN THE WATER OFF. And it almost does, but not all the way...Naturally. So we figure, let's just replace the spigot, no big deal. I run down to the hardware store to buy a faucet while Felix is turning the water off to the house. We have no idea what size the pipe is, so we buy one of every size. I go home and we slowly unscrew the spigot and take it out of the wall...and take it out of the wall...and take it out of the wall. It was like 9 inches long...hello...what the hud is that thing. So I grab it, run back to the hardware store, find the dude that helped me before, hold up the part and say one very descriptive word, "Help."
Okay, he starts to laugh at me. So what else is new...people laughing at me has truly become an embedded part of my personality. So he says to me, that is a FREEZE PROOF spigot. At this point, I give. I explain I no longer care what anything is and please, may I just have a cap to plug up the line. I buy it and fly home (I'm pretty sure it was on my broomstick).
Once home I decide I am the Martha Stewart of plumbing and without waiting for anyone, I grab my handy plumbers tape and wrap the plug, cut a hole in the wall and put it in. I have no more time and patience. Felix turns the water on, and it is dripping....at about the same rate as the fragile pieces of my ego, delicately hitting the floor.
We turn the water off, take the plug off and put more tape on it. Put it on turn the water on and watch it continue to drip into the recesses of my homes innards...You may be asking, what do we do now? We didn't know either...we just watched it. We were waiting for the epiphany to come. It didn't.
So rather than watch the event that would cause toxic mold to over take my house, we decided to save a whole bunch of time and call a plumber.
I love the Yellow Pages. I love that the Yellow Pages has groupings by whether or not they offer 24 hour service. I begin calling. 1st call-Voicemail. 2nd call-Voicemail. 3rd call-Voicemail. 4th call-Roto Rooter and they can be here in 1 to 2 hours. Great, I knew I would only be able to get in touch with the most expensive plumber in the phone book.
Felix goes to buy a new Freeze Proof spigot, because now that we have gone through so much trouble we better be getting something long term out of the deal. Whatever...works for me. I get to stay home and wait for Roto Rooter. And what better to do that watch the water drip. FUN FOR ME. It is really like watching water boil (and as a side note, I have done that too).
Felix gets home with lunch and a faucet. We eat and we wait. Finally they show up. I am absolutely no longer in the mood to deal with anything, so I hide up in my room. Felix gets to over see the fun. He only here about 5 minutes when Felix comes up to tell me that the plumber dropped our wrench in the wall. Bummer. We no longer have a complete set of wrenches...that is going to do wonders for my OCD.
5 minutes after that, he is done. Great...nothing like being told your an idiot in less that a quarter of an hour. After he leaves, Felix says the guy said we did it all right except for the plumbers tape. Plumbers tape should not be used on 1/2 inch pipe....and it is iffy on 3/4 inch. And I know that why? Because that is why my pipe was leaking. He said we did it all right, but we had to use this special plumbing goo stuff that would expand and seal the pipe. And it only cost me $160 (we got a screaming deal...he took off 5 bucks for the wrench...lucky me).
So we now have a spigot in the garage with a handle, hidden by the water softener salt tank thing...my world is complete.
Lessons Learned
1. I am STILL NOT A PLUMBER.
2. I think it is still just money.
3. I did save LARGE amounts of stress by calling a plumber early.
4. Before I do another house project, I should really be a plumbers apprentice.
5. At least I am never bored.
On occasion I will go through previous posts (to really appreciate where I am right now)...and I have picked up on a common thread...Any Guesses? Come on, it really is pretty obvious. Plumbing and Water. DDUUUUUUUHHHHHHH.
Which brings me to todays' post. Yesterday, we decided to be completely super industrious. So we embarked on our adventure in cleaning the garage. Now that we had the shed and a place to put everything, maybe we should actually put it there.
So we get everything moved out and realized EEWWWWWWW GROSS. We moved the carpet that was by the entrance to the house and found like an inch of dirt underneath. At this point, we realized sweeping was NOT enough. All that sweeping would do is move the dust around and as soon as we turned our backs, it would settle.
As we were in such an incredible worker bee type mood, we decided to hook a hose up to the spigot in the garage...we should really thank the original owners of the house for all of the wonderful ideas they had when building the house. As usual, we had to take it one step further...we put Dawn on the garage floor so we could scrub up all of the grease and gross that was EVERYWHERE.
We go to put the hose on, and realize the little turny handle thing is gone. I am fairly certain that is disappeared right after we moved in 10 years ago and Savannah had a ball turning the water on and off. Hence, the disappearing little turny handle thing.
But, that's OK. Why? Because we have tools. Lots and lots of tools. So we find an awesome little teeny, tiny wrench that fits the little deely bobber perfectly. And we turn the hose on. GREAT...until I get drenched because somebody didn't tighten the hose to the spigot. And then we turn it off. And then we tighten it. And then we turn it on and BEGIN. We get out the brooms and methodically scrub and scrub and scrub the garage floor.
A good, solid hour later we are done. And we go to turn the water off. I said, We go to turn the water off. Ahem, excuse me...WE GO TO TURN THE WATER OFF. And it almost does, but not all the way...Naturally. So we figure, let's just replace the spigot, no big deal. I run down to the hardware store to buy a faucet while Felix is turning the water off to the house. We have no idea what size the pipe is, so we buy one of every size. I go home and we slowly unscrew the spigot and take it out of the wall...and take it out of the wall...and take it out of the wall. It was like 9 inches long...hello...what the hud is that thing. So I grab it, run back to the hardware store, find the dude that helped me before, hold up the part and say one very descriptive word, "Help."
Okay, he starts to laugh at me. So what else is new...people laughing at me has truly become an embedded part of my personality. So he says to me, that is a FREEZE PROOF spigot. At this point, I give. I explain I no longer care what anything is and please, may I just have a cap to plug up the line. I buy it and fly home (I'm pretty sure it was on my broomstick).
Once home I decide I am the Martha Stewart of plumbing and without waiting for anyone, I grab my handy plumbers tape and wrap the plug, cut a hole in the wall and put it in. I have no more time and patience. Felix turns the water on, and it is dripping....at about the same rate as the fragile pieces of my ego, delicately hitting the floor.
We turn the water off, take the plug off and put more tape on it. Put it on turn the water on and watch it continue to drip into the recesses of my homes innards...You may be asking, what do we do now? We didn't know either...we just watched it. We were waiting for the epiphany to come. It didn't.
So rather than watch the event that would cause toxic mold to over take my house, we decided to save a whole bunch of time and call a plumber.
I love the Yellow Pages. I love that the Yellow Pages has groupings by whether or not they offer 24 hour service. I begin calling. 1st call-Voicemail. 2nd call-Voicemail. 3rd call-Voicemail. 4th call-Roto Rooter and they can be here in 1 to 2 hours. Great, I knew I would only be able to get in touch with the most expensive plumber in the phone book.
Felix goes to buy a new Freeze Proof spigot, because now that we have gone through so much trouble we better be getting something long term out of the deal. Whatever...works for me. I get to stay home and wait for Roto Rooter. And what better to do that watch the water drip. FUN FOR ME. It is really like watching water boil (and as a side note, I have done that too).
Felix gets home with lunch and a faucet. We eat and we wait. Finally they show up. I am absolutely no longer in the mood to deal with anything, so I hide up in my room. Felix gets to over see the fun. He only here about 5 minutes when Felix comes up to tell me that the plumber dropped our wrench in the wall. Bummer. We no longer have a complete set of wrenches...that is going to do wonders for my OCD.
5 minutes after that, he is done. Great...nothing like being told your an idiot in less that a quarter of an hour. After he leaves, Felix says the guy said we did it all right except for the plumbers tape. Plumbers tape should not be used on 1/2 inch pipe....and it is iffy on 3/4 inch. And I know that why? Because that is why my pipe was leaking. He said we did it all right, but we had to use this special plumbing goo stuff that would expand and seal the pipe. And it only cost me $160 (we got a screaming deal...he took off 5 bucks for the wrench...lucky me).
So we now have a spigot in the garage with a handle, hidden by the water softener salt tank thing...my world is complete.
Lessons Learned
1. I am STILL NOT A PLUMBER.
2. I think it is still just money.
3. I did save LARGE amounts of stress by calling a plumber early.
4. Before I do another house project, I should really be a plumbers apprentice.
5. At least I am never bored.
Monday, November 10, 2008
YAY ME
I have a cooktop, and it is pretty. I have a cooktop, and it is working. YAY ME.
I finally received the elusive cooktop that has been plaguing my life for the last month. When it arrived I just couldn't wait for Felix to get home to put it in. No really, I couldn't wait. So I made some shims to hold up the unit so I could put the cooktop on and I installed it myself.
And everyone that knows me shouldn't be surprised by this. I have horrible patience issues, and I really do have a tendency to OVER take the initiative of the situation. But I did it, and I cannot tell you how satisfying it was to flip the breaker and turn everything on...and of course, I did it over and over and over (I may have some mild OCD tendencies).
But as I have shared my trials, tribulations and sadness, I had to share my joy. And it is JOY...YAY ME, YAY ME, YAY ME.
Lessons Learned
1. Sometimes it is worth the extra money to buy directly from the manufacturer.
2. As much I hate it, I really missed cooking real dinners.
3. If I set my mind to it, I can really do just about anything...not that I will, but I could, if I wanted to.
4.YAY ME
5. It's just money....
I finally received the elusive cooktop that has been plaguing my life for the last month. When it arrived I just couldn't wait for Felix to get home to put it in. No really, I couldn't wait. So I made some shims to hold up the unit so I could put the cooktop on and I installed it myself.
And everyone that knows me shouldn't be surprised by this. I have horrible patience issues, and I really do have a tendency to OVER take the initiative of the situation. But I did it, and I cannot tell you how satisfying it was to flip the breaker and turn everything on...and of course, I did it over and over and over (I may have some mild OCD tendencies).
But as I have shared my trials, tribulations and sadness, I had to share my joy. And it is JOY...YAY ME, YAY ME, YAY ME.
Lessons Learned
1. Sometimes it is worth the extra money to buy directly from the manufacturer.
2. As much I hate it, I really missed cooking real dinners.
3. If I set my mind to it, I can really do just about anything...not that I will, but I could, if I wanted to.
4.YAY ME
5. It's just money....
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