That is the question. Really. That is the question.
We had to go to the hospital the other day for some follow up tests....for Baylee, who else? Same fun, different day. At least this time it was only a Urinalysis and not blood work. Easy peasy (I said peasy...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...you'll get it after you read), lemon squeezy.
I take Caleb with me this time, even though I usually avoid it at all costs. I hate taking him grocery shopping...trust me, the hospital and Caleb are not a fun combo. We get in line to register and one registrars computer goes down...so the people at her desk come back to the front of the line, which means I get bumped...well of course. We can't just get in and out can we?
We register, head to the lab, turn in our paperwork, find our faxed paperwork and then we sit in the empty waiting room. Yes, we sat and we sat and we sat. Just out of curiosity, do you think they are looking out of the little window of their door to see what we are doing while we wait? It could be a whole psychological evaluation thing...or it could be a terrorist plot. I don't know. I'm just sayin'.
We finally get called, they hand Baylee the cup, she goes back to the bathroom and Caleb and I sit on the couch. Caleb gets antsy...so what else is new, but after 15 minutes I had hit my limit. And yes, I did say 15 minutes. So I knock on the door, "Baylee, you okay?" "Fine mom."
At which point Caleb decides he absolutely has to go to the bathroom. So I take him to the bathroom across the hall. We go in and he immediately starts yelling about how I can't be in there, girls can't come in while I'm going to the bathroom. It wouldn't have been so bad except for...well...you know how hospital bathrooms are. They echo. They reverberate. They magnify. I finally convince him to go. It did take 5 minutes though and I had endure being told (okay yelled at) that if I didn't leave he would break all of my bones and not let the hospital people fix them. I'm sure everyone enjoyed that....because I sure did. Especially since my in and out trip to the hospital was now over 30 minutes.
After he goes to the bathroom he refuses to pull up his pants for the exact same reasons listed in the previous paragraph. Then we had the entire same conversation about broken bones, although it was one of those conversations where the volume was amplified. So after ANOTHER 5 mines I finally said I would flush the toilet myself, open the door and let everyone see his *privates* (*I used the anatomically correct word, but this is a family blog after all). So he started to scream, pulled his pants up and flushed the toilet. I'm pretty sure, by the looks on every ones faces as we walked out of the bathroom, that they all thought I was beating him. I wasn't. But I wanted to.
We go back to the lab and Baylee is STILL in the bathroom. She comes out and takes a big drink of water and goes back in. After another 5 minutes, I'm done. We decide to take the cup home and take our chances. We just had to have the sample back to the hospital by 7 or we would have to re-register.
As we are leaving, Caleb decides that he is furious because he didn't get his own cup. He didn't quite understand it wasn't for drinking. He sits himself down in the lobby and refuses to leave. I was okay with that. I said goodbye and started walking out of automatic doors. He flips out, runs after me, trips, splits his lip, gets covered in blood and the whole time I am walkin' away. Yeah, I am really that GOOD of a parent.
We get to the car, finally get home and the first thing Baylee does is go to the bathroom. You heard it hear first folks. I'll be here all week...
Lessons Learned
1. Baylee has to 'christen' every public restroom we are in the vicinity of...but the one time, the only time I NEED her to pee in public, she gets stage fright.
2. Caleb will NOT be accompanying me to the hospital again...unless he is in it and sedated.
3. I need a hobby.
4. Maybe I should get Caleb his own set of hospital gear so he doesn't feel left out.
5. I really need a hobby.
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