After listening to my children whine about cleaning up after themselves this morning, I finally lost my mind and went Shakespeare all over their behinds. The following is my attempt at mimicking (okay, mocking) them.
The same. It is always the same. Each and every Saturday this foul woman doth persist in the vile notion of 'cleaning up my own mess'. From whence in the depths of hell has she come? Why, oh why can she not see that which is plainly before her? Doth she not understand that we are above the menial tasks that are left for hand-maidens and wenches? Doth she not see that our station exempts, nay FORBIDS us to work? And yet continually, she spews forth the horrid words that haunt the very depths of our souls. How do we escape the incessant insistance to do this 'picking up'? Oh ye spawn of the devil, we pray you cease the call of these chores. Cease in the persistance of responsibility. CEASE I doth say unto you, CEASE. And now while we contemplate the unfortunate position in which we find ourselves, we have nary a choice but to continue to ask, over and over and over, "Why foul woman? Why? Why doth you persist?"
Lessons Learned
1. While I am not any where close to Shakespeare, it was fun pretending I was wearing a velvet costume with a high neck collar, spouting anti-chore prose on a stage.
2. I think I should make my kids talk like this all of the time.
3. I think I should talk to my kids like this all of the time.
4. Doesn't it make you feel so fancypants?
5. I just want clean bedrooms...is that too much to ask for?
1 comment:
I'm going to try the Skakespeare quoting. I need something new to lay on my kids. They've heard, "get it clean or you're grounded!" far too many times. :) thanks for giving me new ideas!
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