Clean Floors and Rooms

This is my ode to my childrens relationship with chores, using the lyrical stylings of Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss.

To make your reading more enjoyable, I have color coded the conversation.

Mom-Blue Text
Children-Red Text

Clean Floors and Rooms

I am Mom.

I am Mom.

Mom-is-tired.

As Mom-is-tired
As Mom-is-tired
Won't clean alone
As Mom-is-tired

Go clean your
Rooms. Please be inspired.

We will not clean them
Mom-is-tired.
We have to tell you,
We're not inspired.

Would you like rooms
cleared of toys?

We would not like rooms
cleared of toys.
We want to keep them
full of joy.
We will not clean them,
Mom-is-tired.
There is no way
to get us inspired.

Do you like rooms
full of muck?
Do you like rooms
full of yuck?

We do not care
if there is yuck.
We do not care
if there is muck.
We do not like rooms
cleared of toys.
We want to keep them
full of joy.
We will not clean them,
Mom-is-tired.
There is no way
to get us inspired.

Would you clean them
to avoid a spank?
Would you clean them
for cash in the bank?

We might for a spank.
We might for the bank.
But not for the muck.
And not for the yuck.
We do not like rooms
cleared of toys.
We want to keep them
full of joy.
Nah, we will not clean them,
Mom-is-tired.
There's just no way
to get us inspired.

Would you?
Could you?
To get a treat?
Clean them, clean them
And we'll go eat.

We would not,
or could not,
for a treat.

It might bring you joy,
or perhaps a new toy.
You might like them
free from crud.
You might like them
free from mud.

We would not
enjoy them
free from crud.
Quite frankly,
we enjoy the mud.
We won't for a spank.
We might for the bank.
But not for the muck.
And not for the yuck.
We do not like rooms
cleared of toys.
We want to keep them
full of joy.
Nah, we will not clean them,
Mom-is-tired.
There's just no way
to get us inspired.

A movie...a movie.
Could you,
Would you
for a flick?

Not for a flick.
We like the mud.
We like the crud.
We won't for a spank.
We might for the bank.
But not for the muck.
And not for the yuck.
We do not like rooms
cleared of toys.
We want to keep them full of joy.
Nah, we will not clean them,
Mom-is-tired.
There's just no way
to get us inspired.

How about for
friends and play?
I can arrange for
a whole free day.

We would not,
could not
for friends and play.
We simply do
not roll that way.

Then let me
make this
simple and clear.
Go clean your rooms
or be full of fear.

I will take everything
you own.
No new clothes,
holes will be sewn.

Nor will I not allow
ice cream and treats.
There will be no friends
for meet and greets.

You cannot see
the outside world,
or each morning
as it is gloriously unfurled.

I say there will be no
extras and stuff...
As Mom-is-tired,
I HAVE HAD ENOUGH.

So make your choice,
but wisely choose.
As Mom-is-tired,
this is your war to lose.

We believe you
Mom-is tired.
You have found
ways to inspire.
We will clean
the muck and yuck.

We will clean
to avoid a spank.
Is there still a chance
for the bank?

We will rid the mud,
We will clear the crud.
We will clean
Oh Mom-is-tired.
We are really,
truly, inspired.

And through the
process they did find
things they had lost...
even MY mind.

Now the house is
cleared of dust.
Finding the floors,
an ABSOLUTE must.

Children don't like
being told how to clean.
Even worse than that
is the mommy that's mean.

Sometimes it takes
a little muscle,
To get the kids
to show some hustle.

But in the end,
it's worth the struggle,
Because Mom-is-tired,
Has one less thing to juggle.

Lessons Learned
1. Anything worth doing is worth fighting for. And if it means I don't trip on toys and fall down the stairs in the middle of the night, BRING IT ON.
2. I LOVE Dr. Seuss.
3. I love my house to be clean.
4. I love my house to be clean without contention.
5. And since that is never going to happen, I'll take a clean house with the necessary contention to get there. As long as I WIN at the end...I'm good.