Death by SPOON

Oh, the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth that made it's way up to our room from the basement.  Each footstep, heavy with whatever travesty had befallen the woeful child.

As Caleb came into our room, he threw himself onto our bed and loudly cried, "Noah, turned off my program......WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH".  So we (being the incredibly just Solomon type parents that we are) asked Caleb what Noah's punishment should be.

"Should we ground him for 2 weeks?" Felix asked.  "How about we cut off his hand for touching the remote?" I asked.  Caleb looked at us and said, "YES."

As Felix and I giggled, Caleb continued to offer suggestions as to how we could correct the problem.  "We should cut off his other hand too, in case he tries to use that to change the channel."  Felix and I started giggling even harder, and then we hear, "And we should cut off his legs too, so he can't get to the remote."

At which point Felix and I lost it and started quoting Robin Hood (Kevin Costner version).  "I'll cut your heart out with a spoon...." "Why a spoon cousin?"  "Because it's dull, and it'll hurt more."  Caleb was crying in the background about how this wasn't "hysterical", it was "serious"....NOAH CHANGED THE CHANNEL.

We asked Caleb how we should do the punishment....his sweet and honest reply was "Chainsaw........or spoon."

We called Noah up and asked Caleb to explain the punishment to Noah.

"First," he says, "You are grounded for 2 weeks."  [Imagine Noah flipping out in the background]
"Then we will cut your hand off, then the other hand so you can't touch the remote.  Then we will cut your legs off so you can't reach the remote."  Caleb leans over and in his very bestest stage whisper asked, "Why do we use a spoon?"

As we all completely dissolved into fits of laughter, Noah went and got a plastic spoon and said, "I accept my punishment."  So Felix flicked him a few times with the spoons, told his to change the channel back and Felix and I continued laughing.

As I write this little memoir, a voice came over the intercom and said, "Mom, Savannah turned off Caleb's show."

So Felix and I intercommed back, "Savannah come upstairs....AND BRING A SPOON."

Lessons Learned
1.  Caleb might be a smidge vindictive.
2.  He didn't get it from me.
3.  Maybe you had to be there, but that was funny.  I don't care who you are, that was funny.
4.  Don't worry....we told Caleb it wasn't okay to cut people's arms and legs off.
5.  BECAUSE IT'S DULL AND IT WILL HURT MORE.....It was funny then, and it's funny now.