I may have mentioned before, there are very large and very different personalities in my house.
Last Friday was the kids payday....time for allowance. We used to give it weekly, but in order to teach budgeting, we switched to monthly...man that has been fun. I think I upped my "Mom, can I have....?" quotient by at least a thousand.
Well last month....not so many chores have gotten done. I am the kind of employer that only pays for work performed....because we spent so much time riding the crazy train last month I wasn't able to keep as close of track as I usually do. So I thought I would try a little experiment. I asked the kids to tell me how much allowance they should get, and they had to justify it to me. I really wanted to see what their perspective was on how much they had to do around the house.
It went a little something like this:
MOM: Tell me how much I should give you and why.
SAVANNAH
She stood up, went to the basement and closed the door behind her. Ahhhhhh, thirteen.
NOAH
Per true Noah style, he grabbed a piece of paper, figured out average number of "workdays" in the year, worked it down to an average number of days. Figured out a daily rate for his chores, then of course, had to work out the most likely percentage of what he had actually done. After the computations were complete, it came out to $17.61...but he said, "How about we make it an even 17...in case there was an error in my math." Then he turned to Baylee and said, "You are getting way less than that because you didn't do any chores hardly at all!"
BAYLEE
Baylee looked my square in the eye and said, "Seventeen dollars". I asked, "Why?". Her extremely honest reply was, "because Noah said I couldn't get that much." I must remind myself to ask more specific questions, such as "Tell me how much allowance you should have based on the amount of work you think you did."
CALEB
"I don't really care about allowance mom, I just want a pillow pet."
To be fair to my personalities, I mean children, I won't divulge the amount of allowance they got....except that between Caleb's savings and allowance he did manage to eek out a pillow pet.
Lessons Learned
1. Be specific....be very, very specific.
2. Next....converse with each child individually....I'll save much loudness and time.
3. Keep track so I don't have to ask them.
4. Skip allowance all together and hire them out as child laborers.
5. Skip allowance and make everything they do part of the responsibility of being a family. Somehow, I don't think 4 and 5 are going to fly.....
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
The Darkest Hour is Just Before Dawn
Well, I'm here to tell you, nuh-uh. In my humblest opinion, I'm going to have to go for roughly 2:30 to 3:30 ish.
As an avid insomniac, all sorts of fun and wonderful things can happen in the dead of night....except of course,quiet.
I think I have been taking my BFF Ambien for granted lately. You know, Ambi is very consistent, for the most part....but on occasion, like last night, we just don't seem to get along. So I figure this is my wake-up call (get it, wake-up call?), to be grateful for pharmaceuticals that let me rest more often than not.
After my monthly night out with the girls at the giggle fest, I came home wound up. I don't get to laugh that hard on a regular basis....so it takes me a while to come down off my giggle high. Kids in bed, drugs in mom, television off by 11. No problem.
Side Note: Felix started using a CPAP about 3 weeks ago. No snoring, but hoses and humming and don't get me started about what happens if he opens his mouth. Last night Felix decided to go sans CPAP. He was exhausted, had a stuffy nose, so he couldn't use his 'nose pillows'....that isn't what they look like, but ok.
He was asleep in 2 seconds flat, and snoring with every single breath. Every............Single...........Breath. So at 12:45, when I hear grandma turn on the house alarm, I know she is heading to bed and I can go downstairs and figure out what to do.
I try sleeping on the couch....unfortunately this is what happens:
-Cat gets lonely, climbs on me and is generally annoying
-Grandma starts moving furniture (I don't know if that is what she was doing, but it sure sounded like it)
-Grandma turns TV up to hear over whatever she is doing
-Cats start playing hockey with empty cat food cans
-Automatic litter box goes off, gets jammed, resets and goes off again
-Cat gets lonely, comes back and is generally annoying
-I resettle, start to drift off, and the smoke detector starts doing its' beepy warning "I need a new battery" thing....REALLY.
-Cat gets lonely, comes back and is absolutely annoying
So I decide it's TV time. It's about 2am at this point, so what do I watch....that would be Storm Chasers...nice, relaxing TV show. I turn on the computer and annoy myself on Facebook, checking out the news and thinking bad things about politicians. Sigh....
At this point, the cat comes back....again....and not only annoys me, but takes my blanket. Jerk kitty. So I finally give up and decided to go back to bed.
And Felix is snoring....I love him, but this was just SO NOT THE NIGHT for this. I try and match my breathing to his rhythm and pretend I am on a beach somewhere watching the crystalline waters lap over warm sand....as I start to drift off, the cat starts snoring. Super sigh.
I try again, get comfortable in my beach chair and settle in to my beautiful beach view. Just as I set one foot into the great subconscious of sleep, Caleb starts crying. Super duper sigh.
He stops....and I try again. It's getting harder to find my happy place. That does not make me happy. In the middle of my attempt, Caleb cries again and comes into my room....thinking he has majorly tossed his cookies, I wake up from my not sleeping stupor to find out what is wrong and he has to go to the bathroom....since when does he wake me up to tell me that? He does his bidness and heads back to bed.
I lay quietly, pretending that I can sleep. I glance at the clock....3:48....hmmmmmm, what to do what to do.
The next thing I know, Noah walks in at 7:23 to tell me I overslept.
Lessons Learned
1. I'm seriously going to have to start meditating before bed.
2. I hate insomnia.
3. I really hate insomnia.
4. I really need some sleep.
5. This is so not funny.....You would think after 10 years of fun with insomnia, I would be way better at this.
As an avid insomniac, all sorts of fun and wonderful things can happen in the dead of night....except of course,quiet.
I think I have been taking my BFF Ambien for granted lately. You know, Ambi is very consistent, for the most part....but on occasion, like last night, we just don't seem to get along. So I figure this is my wake-up call (get it, wake-up call?), to be grateful for pharmaceuticals that let me rest more often than not.
After my monthly night out with the girls at the giggle fest, I came home wound up. I don't get to laugh that hard on a regular basis....so it takes me a while to come down off my giggle high. Kids in bed, drugs in mom, television off by 11. No problem.
Side Note: Felix started using a CPAP about 3 weeks ago. No snoring, but hoses and humming and don't get me started about what happens if he opens his mouth. Last night Felix decided to go sans CPAP. He was exhausted, had a stuffy nose, so he couldn't use his 'nose pillows'....that isn't what they look like, but ok.
He was asleep in 2 seconds flat, and snoring with every single breath. Every............Single...........Breath. So at 12:45, when I hear grandma turn on the house alarm, I know she is heading to bed and I can go downstairs and figure out what to do.
I try sleeping on the couch....unfortunately this is what happens:
-Cat gets lonely, climbs on me and is generally annoying
-Grandma starts moving furniture (I don't know if that is what she was doing, but it sure sounded like it)
-Grandma turns TV up to hear over whatever she is doing
-Cats start playing hockey with empty cat food cans
-Automatic litter box goes off, gets jammed, resets and goes off again
-Cat gets lonely, comes back and is generally annoying
-I resettle, start to drift off, and the smoke detector starts doing its' beepy warning "I need a new battery" thing....REALLY.
-Cat gets lonely, comes back and is absolutely annoying
So I decide it's TV time. It's about 2am at this point, so what do I watch....that would be Storm Chasers...nice, relaxing TV show. I turn on the computer and annoy myself on Facebook, checking out the news and thinking bad things about politicians. Sigh....
At this point, the cat comes back....again....and not only annoys me, but takes my blanket. Jerk kitty. So I finally give up and decided to go back to bed.
And Felix is snoring....I love him, but this was just SO NOT THE NIGHT for this. I try and match my breathing to his rhythm and pretend I am on a beach somewhere watching the crystalline waters lap over warm sand....as I start to drift off, the cat starts snoring. Super sigh.
I try again, get comfortable in my beach chair and settle in to my beautiful beach view. Just as I set one foot into the great subconscious of sleep, Caleb starts crying. Super duper sigh.
He stops....and I try again. It's getting harder to find my happy place. That does not make me happy. In the middle of my attempt, Caleb cries again and comes into my room....thinking he has majorly tossed his cookies, I wake up from my not sleeping stupor to find out what is wrong and he has to go to the bathroom....since when does he wake me up to tell me that? He does his bidness and heads back to bed.
I lay quietly, pretending that I can sleep. I glance at the clock....3:48....hmmmmmm, what to do what to do.
The next thing I know, Noah walks in at 7:23 to tell me I overslept.
Lessons Learned
1. I'm seriously going to have to start meditating before bed.
2. I hate insomnia.
3. I really hate insomnia.
4. I really need some sleep.
5. This is so not funny.....You would think after 10 years of fun with insomnia, I would be way better at this.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Bad Mood Bob
I'm having a bad day. No particular reason....I am just in an EXTREMELY hateful mood. I'm guessing that I am putting this in the blog because I look at it as some sort of penance or something.
I really don't get like this very often. For the most part, I try to be positive...even when things are insane. The rest of the time, I just eat chocolate.
On our way to the pharmacy from today's doctor appointment (because we don't spend enough time with medical professionals), these are but a sample of the things that were going on in my head.
-Stop flicking your cigarette and drive the speed limit...moron.
-No, putting your sunglasses on top of your head don't make you look cool...it makes you squint....moron.
-Stop talking.
****Stoplight**** This is the part where I have to choke back tears at the stoplight for thinking mean things about strangers. Then the light turns green....
-I hate green.
-Why did you stop in front of the driveway...moron...now I'm stuck.
-That's an ugly car.
-The long pedal means go...moron.
-Did you just give me a dirty look....that was dumb.
-Why is everybody so stupid?
****Stoplight**** Back to crying.
-Does everyone and their freakin' grandma have a handicapped placard...sheesh, those things used to mean something.
-Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.....why am I so hateful?
-Because everyone else is stupid.
-That's not nice.
-Who asked you?
****Started wishing for a stoplight so I could put my extra personality away****
-I hate Thursday
-Why was it named Thursday.
-That was stupid
-How many ways can I say hateful? One HATEFUL.
Anyways, you get the point. These are the kinds of things that go on in my head....it's really a pretty scary place in there....unless of course, I am in the part that has rainbows, unicorns and sparkly things.
Lessons Learned
1. It may be time for anger management.
2. No....I don't want to talk about it.
3. I only have about 6 hours left before my 24 hour pity party is over.
4. Maybe I should call Ben and Jerry?
5. Hmmmmm, you know it's bad when chocolate doesn't even sound like it will fix everything.
I really don't get like this very often. For the most part, I try to be positive...even when things are insane. The rest of the time, I just eat chocolate.
On our way to the pharmacy from today's doctor appointment (because we don't spend enough time with medical professionals), these are but a sample of the things that were going on in my head.
-Stop flicking your cigarette and drive the speed limit...moron.
-No, putting your sunglasses on top of your head don't make you look cool...it makes you squint....moron.
-Stop talking.
****Stoplight**** This is the part where I have to choke back tears at the stoplight for thinking mean things about strangers. Then the light turns green....
-I hate green.
-Why did you stop in front of the driveway...moron...now I'm stuck.
-That's an ugly car.
-The long pedal means go...moron.
-Did you just give me a dirty look....that was dumb.
-Why is everybody so stupid?
****Stoplight**** Back to crying.
-Does everyone and their freakin' grandma have a handicapped placard...sheesh, those things used to mean something.
-Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.....why am I so hateful?
-Because everyone else is stupid.
-That's not nice.
-Who asked you?
****Started wishing for a stoplight so I could put my extra personality away****
-I hate Thursday
-Why was it named Thursday.
-That was stupid
-How many ways can I say hateful? One HATEFUL.
Anyways, you get the point. These are the kinds of things that go on in my head....it's really a pretty scary place in there....unless of course, I am in the part that has rainbows, unicorns and sparkly things.
Lessons Learned
1. It may be time for anger management.
2. No....I don't want to talk about it.
3. I only have about 6 hours left before my 24 hour pity party is over.
4. Maybe I should call Ben and Jerry?
5. Hmmmmm, you know it's bad when chocolate doesn't even sound like it will fix everything.
The Ho's Are Back in Town
Does anyone else ever have anything come back and bite them in the tushie or is it just me?
During the summer, we had an interesting conversation about what Ho's are....not the gardening type either. You can refer back if you need a refresher....
I had to pick Baylee up from school (rough day with many, many, many phone calls and tears...and I suck as a mom, but let's just leave that right there). Caleb was in the car and we made it about halfway home before we had the following conversation....
Caleb: I know how to say red in Spanish.
Mom: How?
Caleb: Rojo.
Mom: Very good.
Caleb: Baylee's a ho.
Mom: WHAT?
Caleb: Is ho a bad word?
Mom: Ummmmmm, yeah.
Caleb: Then why is it in rojo?
Mom: Because it is part of a WHOLE word. When you say Ho all by itself, it isn't a nice word.
Caleb: So Baylee isn't a Ho?
Mom: No.
Lessons Learned
1. I need to learn to shut up.
2. Trying to figure out if I learned anything else, other than lesson number 1.
3. My children need to stop paying attention to me.
4. I don't know if I deserve my children....but I am quite certain I DESERVE them.
5. This should make my mom happy, since she was the Ho this summer.
During the summer, we had an interesting conversation about what Ho's are....not the gardening type either. You can refer back if you need a refresher....
I had to pick Baylee up from school (rough day with many, many, many phone calls and tears...and I suck as a mom, but let's just leave that right there). Caleb was in the car and we made it about halfway home before we had the following conversation....
Caleb: I know how to say red in Spanish.
Mom: How?
Caleb: Rojo.
Mom: Very good.
Caleb: Baylee's a ho.
Mom: WHAT?
Caleb: Is ho a bad word?
Mom: Ummmmmm, yeah.
Caleb: Then why is it in rojo?
Mom: Because it is part of a WHOLE word. When you say Ho all by itself, it isn't a nice word.
Caleb: So Baylee isn't a Ho?
Mom: No.
Lessons Learned
1. I need to learn to shut up.
2. Trying to figure out if I learned anything else, other than lesson number 1.
3. My children need to stop paying attention to me.
4. I don't know if I deserve my children....but I am quite certain I DESERVE them.
5. This should make my mom happy, since she was the Ho this summer.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
The Pancake Queen Rides Again.....
About a year ago, Noah challenged me to a pancake eating contest. Yeah, he didn't win....although for some reason he keeps telling people he did. He must have gotten his faulty memory from me.
But, GUESS WHAT....Ihop is at it again....all you can eat pancakes for $4.99. Oh yeah, bring it on. And Noah has thrown down the guantlet and issued the challenge. If I would have had really good leather gloves, I would have answered by a gentle smack on his cheeks with my gloves in hand....but I don't. So instead I said, BRING IT ON.
As a family we went to Ihop, and Savannah, who was being sneaky, sneaky entered the challenge.
Plate One: Savannah and Mom in record time. Noah doused his with diet coke and ate them. I don't know why either.
Plate Two: Savannah and Mom, record time again. Noah...two bites and a "I was only kidding. I don't know why you would think I would actually have a pancake eating contest." Which was answered with "I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS" (Better Off Dead anyone?), and he said no because it wasn't real. I told him that I would forgo the two dollars in exchange for his announcement that I was the pancake queen. He tried "You are the pancake fool for thinking it was a real contest", so I doubled it to 4 bucks....don't mess with me. He dropped his head and softly announced, "You are the pancake queen." I made him do it louder.
Plate Three: Mom record time. Okay....get over it. I like pancakes...A LOT. And just to mess with my kids, I might have them for dinner. Savannah managed to make it through her third plate...barely. There were complaints of "I have a headache, pancakes might make it worse." And with each bite, the fork move ever more slowly to her mouth.
Plate Four: Mom. Easily. Savannah finally put her forehead on the table and said, "You are the pancake queen." DUH.
Lessons Learned
1. 4 plates was nothing. The record at the Ihop is 7, I may have to go back in while they are still doing all you can eat.
2. I could have kept going, but I didn't want to embarrass Felix. I can eat him under the table...and apparently I can do the same to my kids.
3. There is a trick to eating pancakes without filling up. I have shared it with very few....
4. There is never a bad time for family bonding over pancakes.
5. Who is up for the challenge?
But, GUESS WHAT....Ihop is at it again....all you can eat pancakes for $4.99. Oh yeah, bring it on. And Noah has thrown down the guantlet and issued the challenge. If I would have had really good leather gloves, I would have answered by a gentle smack on his cheeks with my gloves in hand....but I don't. So instead I said, BRING IT ON.
As a family we went to Ihop, and Savannah, who was being sneaky, sneaky entered the challenge.
Plate One: Savannah and Mom in record time. Noah doused his with diet coke and ate them. I don't know why either.
Plate Two: Savannah and Mom, record time again. Noah...two bites and a "I was only kidding. I don't know why you would think I would actually have a pancake eating contest." Which was answered with "I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS" (Better Off Dead anyone?), and he said no because it wasn't real. I told him that I would forgo the two dollars in exchange for his announcement that I was the pancake queen. He tried "You are the pancake fool for thinking it was a real contest", so I doubled it to 4 bucks....don't mess with me. He dropped his head and softly announced, "You are the pancake queen." I made him do it louder.
Plate Three: Mom record time. Okay....get over it. I like pancakes...A LOT. And just to mess with my kids, I might have them for dinner. Savannah managed to make it through her third plate...barely. There were complaints of "I have a headache, pancakes might make it worse." And with each bite, the fork move ever more slowly to her mouth.
Plate Four: Mom. Easily. Savannah finally put her forehead on the table and said, "You are the pancake queen." DUH.
Lessons Learned
1. 4 plates was nothing. The record at the Ihop is 7, I may have to go back in while they are still doing all you can eat.
2. I could have kept going, but I didn't want to embarrass Felix. I can eat him under the table...and apparently I can do the same to my kids.
3. There is a trick to eating pancakes without filling up. I have shared it with very few....
4. There is never a bad time for family bonding over pancakes.
5. Who is up for the challenge?
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
What a Week....Oh Wait It's Only Tuesday
It has been a year in a span of days. And there is some drama involved...but let me just say, if we can laugh about it, so can you. I don't want to hear about any "Oh, I'm so sorry..." or "It's always something with you..." or anything like that....cuz you know what...there is always something going on for everyone...mine just happens to be fluorescent purple.
MONDAY - Baylee had one of her checkups for her eyes and things are not as good as they hoped. Not bad, certainly not terrible, but not as good as it should be. So the sweet and wonderful people at Primary Children's have extended an invitation for us to be there more often. Awwwwwwwwwww. That's so sweet. So we will get to do infusions more often...how often? I'd like to know myself.
Savannah had volleyball practice, so we had two quick trips to the rec center. Plus the usual homework, dinner, chores, so just another night. Or so we thought.....
As we were settling down the young 'uns for the night, Caleb runs in and says, well more like SCREAMS, "It was an accident, it was an accident...I'M NOT GROUNDED!!!!" Which for some odd reason begs the question, "WHAT was an accident?" Come to find out, he was washing his hands after going to the bathroom in the sink that drains slow and forgot to turn the water off. PLUMBING anyone? Yes, if you know me, you know that plumbing and I are ARCH ENEMIES.
As I wade though the one inch of water on my laundry room towels, round all of the walking Indians to find me dry towels I just had to laugh. Why? Because it was 10 o'clock at night, I was drench and so was one entire room of my house. Apparently, we needed a cleansing. No worries, it was all cleaned up and I was in bed by 11.
TUESDAY- Tuesday started out like it usually did, with 6:30 am piano lessons. Oh, don't start...it works for us and my kids get their afternoons. We rush home from piano, take the Jr. High kids to school, come home get everyone else ready, fit Baylee for crutches, fight about backpacks and get everyone out the door. PHEW.
I get some work done and head to the Kindergarten Christopher Columbus play. Caleb was AWESOME. He was a fabulous Columbus and 'faced his fears' (in his own words) and did fabulous. Right after that we made for my piano lesson, which had to be changed for Baylee's doctor appointment. So the kiddos get home from school, we attempt to get chores done, send Noah with the neighbor to Lacrosse warm ups and get ready to follow.
We made it to the game on time. Enjoyed a thoroughly exciting game. Jon took an amazing hit to the head, Tad was all over it and Noah tried twice to take the ball from his goal and score on the other team. He won the Most Improved Player award from the team and I AM SO PROUD of him.
We decided to take the munchkins out to dinner to celebrate the end of the season and had a fun dinner. Baylee was able to get around pretty good so we didn't have to take the crutches. SO NICE. We made it home and played s'more Lacrosse until Tad was picked up.
After that....things got a little nuts.
DISCLAIMER: All events in the next section happened within 5 minutes. I can't make this stuff up. Nobody is that good.
Baylee managed to make it to the basement even though her pain was increasing....she was doing okay, but the basement wouldn't have been my first choice. After about 20 minutes, she starting intercomming (read: SCREAMING) that her pain was horrible and couldn't stand up. Yeah, I saw that coming....but (and NO, I am NOT a cold-hearted mommy....much) she needed to make the attempt herself. After about 10 minutes I headed downstairs to help her. As I passed by the family room heading to the basement, I saw Noah laying on the floor.
He raised his head a fraction of an inch and weakly raised his arm in my direction and whispered, "Help me.....help me. I can't breathe." OOOOOHHHHHHH, he was in the middle of an asthma attack and on the verge of passing out. Whoops...I DIDN'T see that coming. So I grab the nebulizer, start a breathing treatment and tell Caleb to get his dad because Baylee had moved from screaming to wailing. Felix comes down completely perplexed by the scene in front of him. I rattled off instructions for him to get to Baylee because I couldn't leave Noah until was breathing normally.
Felix and Savannah went to Baylees aid, helped her up the stairs and started a bath so we could 'jet' her casts. (FYI: We put her casts in front the jets in the tub and flush them out). Noah was stable enough for me to leave, so Felix and I switched places.
As I was helping Baylee get her feet situated, Caleb came in and announced, "Hey I found this stuff in the couch and it tasted nasty, do you think water will help?"
Mom: What did you drink?
Caleb: I don't know but it was yucky.
Mom: Go get me the bottle.
Caleb: Can't I just have water?
Mom: No, go get me the bottle.
Caleb: FINE
He leaves in a huff and I hear him talking to Felix, but not about what he was supposed to. So I took my turn at the intercom and said, "Could somebody please see what Caleb had to drink so I know if I need to call poison control?" After a few loud, choice words from Felix I hear giggling. Then I hear some footsteps. Caleb and Felix walk into the room, and Felix tells Caleb to tell me what he said. Caleb promptly looks at me and says, "I told dad you are smarter than him because you are 38 and he is only 37."
REALLY?
Lessons Learned
1. Oh, by the way....Caleb drank a REALLY, REALLY old liquid sucker. It had at least another 100 years before it went bad.
2. I gotta stop saying "what else" out loud.
3. Children are a joy, an adventure and a few other choice words.
4. It could have been worse....but it wasn't. And when all was said and done, we laughed. We laughed long and hard.
5. I wouldn't change a thing.....except maybe containing my few choice words in my head.
MONDAY - Baylee had one of her checkups for her eyes and things are not as good as they hoped. Not bad, certainly not terrible, but not as good as it should be. So the sweet and wonderful people at Primary Children's have extended an invitation for us to be there more often. Awwwwwwwwwww. That's so sweet. So we will get to do infusions more often...how often? I'd like to know myself.
Savannah had volleyball practice, so we had two quick trips to the rec center. Plus the usual homework, dinner, chores, so just another night. Or so we thought.....
As we were settling down the young 'uns for the night, Caleb runs in and says, well more like SCREAMS, "It was an accident, it was an accident...I'M NOT GROUNDED!!!!" Which for some odd reason begs the question, "WHAT was an accident?" Come to find out, he was washing his hands after going to the bathroom in the sink that drains slow and forgot to turn the water off. PLUMBING anyone? Yes, if you know me, you know that plumbing and I are ARCH ENEMIES.
As I wade though the one inch of water on my laundry room towels, round all of the walking Indians to find me dry towels I just had to laugh. Why? Because it was 10 o'clock at night, I was drench and so was one entire room of my house. Apparently, we needed a cleansing. No worries, it was all cleaned up and I was in bed by 11.
TUESDAY- Tuesday started out like it usually did, with 6:30 am piano lessons. Oh, don't start...it works for us and my kids get their afternoons. We rush home from piano, take the Jr. High kids to school, come home get everyone else ready, fit Baylee for crutches, fight about backpacks and get everyone out the door. PHEW.
I get some work done and head to the Kindergarten Christopher Columbus play. Caleb was AWESOME. He was a fabulous Columbus and 'faced his fears' (in his own words) and did fabulous. Right after that we made for my piano lesson, which had to be changed for Baylee's doctor appointment. So the kiddos get home from school, we attempt to get chores done, send Noah with the neighbor to Lacrosse warm ups and get ready to follow.
We made it to the game on time. Enjoyed a thoroughly exciting game. Jon took an amazing hit to the head, Tad was all over it and Noah tried twice to take the ball from his goal and score on the other team. He won the Most Improved Player award from the team and I AM SO PROUD of him.
We decided to take the munchkins out to dinner to celebrate the end of the season and had a fun dinner. Baylee was able to get around pretty good so we didn't have to take the crutches. SO NICE. We made it home and played s'more Lacrosse until Tad was picked up.
After that....things got a little nuts.
DISCLAIMER: All events in the next section happened within 5 minutes. I can't make this stuff up. Nobody is that good.
Baylee managed to make it to the basement even though her pain was increasing....she was doing okay, but the basement wouldn't have been my first choice. After about 20 minutes, she starting intercomming (read: SCREAMING) that her pain was horrible and couldn't stand up. Yeah, I saw that coming....but (and NO, I am NOT a cold-hearted mommy....much) she needed to make the attempt herself. After about 10 minutes I headed downstairs to help her. As I passed by the family room heading to the basement, I saw Noah laying on the floor.
He raised his head a fraction of an inch and weakly raised his arm in my direction and whispered, "Help me.....help me. I can't breathe." OOOOOHHHHHHH, he was in the middle of an asthma attack and on the verge of passing out. Whoops...I DIDN'T see that coming. So I grab the nebulizer, start a breathing treatment and tell Caleb to get his dad because Baylee had moved from screaming to wailing. Felix comes down completely perplexed by the scene in front of him. I rattled off instructions for him to get to Baylee because I couldn't leave Noah until was breathing normally.
Felix and Savannah went to Baylees aid, helped her up the stairs and started a bath so we could 'jet' her casts. (FYI: We put her casts in front the jets in the tub and flush them out). Noah was stable enough for me to leave, so Felix and I switched places.
As I was helping Baylee get her feet situated, Caleb came in and announced, "Hey I found this stuff in the couch and it tasted nasty, do you think water will help?"
Mom: What did you drink?
Caleb: I don't know but it was yucky.
Mom: Go get me the bottle.
Caleb: Can't I just have water?
Mom: No, go get me the bottle.
Caleb: FINE
He leaves in a huff and I hear him talking to Felix, but not about what he was supposed to. So I took my turn at the intercom and said, "Could somebody please see what Caleb had to drink so I know if I need to call poison control?" After a few loud, choice words from Felix I hear giggling. Then I hear some footsteps. Caleb and Felix walk into the room, and Felix tells Caleb to tell me what he said. Caleb promptly looks at me and says, "I told dad you are smarter than him because you are 38 and he is only 37."
REALLY?
Lessons Learned
1. Oh, by the way....Caleb drank a REALLY, REALLY old liquid sucker. It had at least another 100 years before it went bad.
2. I gotta stop saying "what else" out loud.
3. Children are a joy, an adventure and a few other choice words.
4. It could have been worse....but it wasn't. And when all was said and done, we laughed. We laughed long and hard.
5. I wouldn't change a thing.....except maybe containing my few choice words in my head.
Monday, October 11, 2010
You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry....
This post does not paint me in the best light. I'm trying my very best to get over it....baby steps people, baby steps.
Before I 'officially' start, let me explain a few things. First, I'm not comfortable in my own skin....probably because it's too tight. Second, I have a horrible fear of being on the wrong side of the camera lens....kind of like my fear of people. Third, if I ask you a question....answer it....no games....unless I initiate them and am winning.
Noah had a Lacrosse game on Saturday, and as usual it was in Salt Lake. So we went and enjoyed the game (mostly...trying to contain Caleb has a tendency to make things difficult) and since we were all starving we decided to grab a bite to eat on our way home. Well, we were halfway between lunch and dinner so we decided to have linner or dunch (depending on where you are from).
We meandered our way to the freeway, perusing our many choices of eateries. The short people in the back seat kept saying how hungry they were so we went to Chuck-A-Rama...yay buffets, because there has to be something that everyone likes. We got there with 5 minutes to spare for the lunch rates, so it was a pretty good deal....except for the fact it was PACKED. I completely forgot it was Saturday in Mormonville...Football games, weddings, funerals....beyond nuts and we all know that Mormons can't have an activity without food, and Chuck-A-Rama was it.
So it took forever but we filled up our plates, got settled and began chowing down. While I was out getting my food, Felix began exploring the features of my new phone....more specifically the retro camera app. I'm guessing while I was gone that Felix enjoyed taking pictures of each of the kids. They don't care if they have a mouthful of food, they were all muggin' for the camera.
I sat down and what does my husband do.....he takes my picture. That was dumb.
Few minutes later he is typing away. I ask him what he is doing and he won't answer. That was dumb too.
We finish eating and head to the car, all the while I am pestering the heck out of him to find out what he did with the picture. While we are on the freeway he finally 'fesses up and admits that he posted it to facebook and it was funny. Why was it funny? I captioned it, "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."
So what do I do? COMPLETELY FLIP OUT. DUH. Not only does he take my picture, he posts it where it will stay in cyber-space for like EVER and then he compares me to a large, green man. Let me just say, it was not my dear husbands day.
As I go ON and ON and ON and ON about him calling me fat and green, he really did protest that it was a cute picture and I was giving him a dirty look, hence the caption. SO....fat and green....REALLY? Now men, you may not be able to draw the same conclusion that I did, but women....you did and that is all that really matters.
Once we got home, he removed the post from Facebook....smart move. It is two days later and I should probably stop telling him to "Post it on Facebook". Just a thought.
Lessons Learned
1. DON'T take my picture and post it online. NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo.
2. My poor husband inadvertently bit off more than he could chew...but after 16 years (almost) you would think he would know better.
3. One day I might find all of my neuroses....but there aren't enough therapists int he world to treat them all.
4. I should really roll with things better.
5. This is as close to an apology as he is gonna get....hope it works.
Before I 'officially' start, let me explain a few things. First, I'm not comfortable in my own skin....probably because it's too tight. Second, I have a horrible fear of being on the wrong side of the camera lens....kind of like my fear of people. Third, if I ask you a question....answer it....no games....unless I initiate them and am winning.
Noah had a Lacrosse game on Saturday, and as usual it was in Salt Lake. So we went and enjoyed the game (mostly...trying to contain Caleb has a tendency to make things difficult) and since we were all starving we decided to grab a bite to eat on our way home. Well, we were halfway between lunch and dinner so we decided to have linner or dunch (depending on where you are from).
We meandered our way to the freeway, perusing our many choices of eateries. The short people in the back seat kept saying how hungry they were so we went to Chuck-A-Rama...yay buffets, because there has to be something that everyone likes. We got there with 5 minutes to spare for the lunch rates, so it was a pretty good deal....except for the fact it was PACKED. I completely forgot it was Saturday in Mormonville...Football games, weddings, funerals....beyond nuts and we all know that Mormons can't have an activity without food, and Chuck-A-Rama was it.
So it took forever but we filled up our plates, got settled and began chowing down. While I was out getting my food, Felix began exploring the features of my new phone....more specifically the retro camera app. I'm guessing while I was gone that Felix enjoyed taking pictures of each of the kids. They don't care if they have a mouthful of food, they were all muggin' for the camera.
I sat down and what does my husband do.....he takes my picture. That was dumb.
Few minutes later he is typing away. I ask him what he is doing and he won't answer. That was dumb too.
We finish eating and head to the car, all the while I am pestering the heck out of him to find out what he did with the picture. While we are on the freeway he finally 'fesses up and admits that he posted it to facebook and it was funny. Why was it funny? I captioned it, "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."
So what do I do? COMPLETELY FLIP OUT. DUH. Not only does he take my picture, he posts it where it will stay in cyber-space for like EVER and then he compares me to a large, green man. Let me just say, it was not my dear husbands day.
As I go ON and ON and ON and ON about him calling me fat and green, he really did protest that it was a cute picture and I was giving him a dirty look, hence the caption. SO....fat and green....REALLY? Now men, you may not be able to draw the same conclusion that I did, but women....you did and that is all that really matters.
Once we got home, he removed the post from Facebook....smart move. It is two days later and I should probably stop telling him to "Post it on Facebook". Just a thought.
Lessons Learned
1. DON'T take my picture and post it online. NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo.
2. My poor husband inadvertently bit off more than he could chew...but after 16 years (almost) you would think he would know better.
3. One day I might find all of my neuroses....but there aren't enough therapists int he world to treat them all.
4. I should really roll with things better.
5. This is as close to an apology as he is gonna get....hope it works.
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