Excessive Wipers

So I have evidently entered the gross phase of my life.  I thought that happened around 18 months old....oh no!  Not me!  Now is the time.

Last Thursday, Noah was making root beer....yes, my little Emeril was feeling the soda vibe.  There was no room in the fridge upstairs, so I told him to chill the syrup he made downstairs.

The next thing I know there is screaming.  There is lots and lots of screaming.  Now, for those of you who aren't aware, Noah is perfectly happy wearing socks with holes in them....but get them wet....and somebody may as well have taken a sledge hammer to Humpty Dumpty, set him on fire and had scrambled eggs.

The screaming????  Noah's socks were wet.  They were very, very wet.  In the downstairs kitchenette, there was about an inch and half of water and no idea where it was coming from.  It hadn't reached the carpet, so we mopped it up and tried to figure out where it was coming from.

I went in the utility room to check the water heater and realized there was a puddle of water in the middle of the floor.  Correct-o mundo!  Puddle in the middle of the floor....hmmmmm.  Insecurities about because I am feeling KAH-RAZ-EEEE.  How did there get to be a puddle in the middle of the floor?

The next day everything was fine, dry, and fine.

Then Saturday happened.  There was even more water on the floor!  What the growl?????  Felix was home so he was able to validate that I am NOT insane (at least, not that way).  He found the cemented over drain in the utility room....that was beginning to crumble away because of the water.  Double uh-oh!

So we cleaned it up and called the landlord.  Who didn't call back....and didn't call back.....and didn't call back.

Then we woke up Sunday morning.  I was totally ready for a little peace....until I went downstairs....and it was flood number 3.  Yes....3.

We called the landlord again, and he said he had never had a problem like that.  So, for right now that is neither here nor there.  He did tell Felix that he thinks one of the kids was putting too much toilet paper down the toilet.  Really????

So, we had a plumber out on a Sunday morning....PREMIUM price of course!!!!!  He augered 75 feet of pipe, said he couldn't feel anything and couldn't recreate the problem.  Okay....it stayed dry all day, so he must of gotten it!  YAY!!!!!

And it stayed dry on Monday.  Yes!!!!

So Tuesday, I took the kids to school, went to the civic center and then home to shower and start on my list for the day.

Then I went downstairs and found the flood of floods.  The kitchenette, the mini dining room, part of the family room, utility room, music room and theater room.  Not good.

I immediately called Felix and the plumber....my favorite plumber, we're good buddies because we have seen one another every month since we've moved here.  But Keith fixed it.  It wasn't inside the house.  It was outside the house.  Near the main....ewwwwwwwww.....

So lemme talk landlord for minute.  I can't blame the guy for looking for reasons for what was happening....he's not here.  They are good people and they have been good to us....and let's face it, plumbing is my ancient nemesis from beyond.... But too much toilet paper?

No matter what kind of preconceived notions you have, we are not excessive wipers.  Thorough?  Yes.  Excessive....really people....

Lessons Learned
1.  I still hate plumbing.
2.  I really, really hate plumbing.
3.  I really hope I wasn't wading through other people's poop.
4.  I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
5.  WIPE ON!!!