I Suck...'Nuff Said

I have been in an incredibly horrible and downright rotten mood...all day...and in retrospect...maybe a lot longer. Oh, but I digress.

And as an incredibly quick side note...my 8 year old son, who is apparently a fabulous over-the-shoulder reader, just pointed out that my blog would go over much better if I wrote about how incredibly wonderful my children were...

Back to the subject at hand. I suppose this is my apology blog. I don't know, not really for anything in particular, just me being short (not of stature, of patience...stay with me people). I think it all really started with my last post regarding the evil do-er that refused to fix my cooktop even though they said they would....hmmmm, don't get me started. I think I headed into a dangerous shame spiral. You know, just being mad at the world for conspiring against me. Oh, you know...you have all been there...some of us just admit it.

The last 24-48 hours have been kind of a general bummer, with bits and pieces of good flung in there somewhere.

I am not kidding, Sears threw me for a major loop...especially since I am still without a cooktop (it's on backorder and tomorrow there is going to be a phone call about me freaking out because of Thanksgiving...stay posted, I will let you know how that turns out). So while I have been trying to feed my family without a stovetop, and getting sick of the microwave meals and partials meals that can be cooked in the oven...the kitchen alone is enough to push anyone over the edge. And it did.

Okay, I will hurry and sum things up so I can get to the title of this post....

1. We got a shed....it is pretty, it is big and I am tired from moving stuff into it (and I have only made a tiny dent in the piles of crud that have to get moved in there). Unforetunately, my OCD has kicked in and there is one splotch of blue on the white and I have to get that taken care of before I blow my top. It completely freaks me out every time I go out there...I swear it is almost as if there is a giant spotlight with one of those flashing arrows pointing at the spot.

2. I found out that a combination of medication I am on can cause seizures...hmmmm, maybe not so hot for someone who already has a seizure disorder...that is on my to do list too.

3. Someone spilled red punch on the carpet, and hid it with a pillow because they wanted to make sure the stain was set. And it did...hope you're proud.

4. Post apocolyptic Halloween anxiety has hit my house way stinking hard...enough so that all of our heads have spun off, hit the ceiling and now someone has to clean up the bloody mess. Which is probably going to be me. And the chewed up pieces of gum I found couch (IN TWO PLACES)...shall I go on?

5. I have lost 15 pounds, great, right? Yeah until my friends Snickers, Butterfinger and Baby Ruth showed up on Friday...

Okay now to the title. This is actually kind of funny...well it was last night, today it just made me sad.

So we decided that since Halloween had already thrown us for a loop, and we were going out with friends, we were going to put our 'Lifestyle Change' (i.e. stupid diet) on hold and enjoy some good grub. We met our friends at Maglebys and had a wonderful dinner, except for having to keep asking for the yummy rolls because they weren't making enough. But once we got them, devoured them and begged for more, we decided that we would splurge and get dessert. Of course I was going for the chocolate cake with ice cream, DUH. This is a big deal...I haven't had cake in 2 months...I know, a record...2 months. Mind you, there were 4 of us at the table and we each had our own desert. After we were digging in for a little while the server (see how politically correct I am, I don't say waiter and waitress any more) came to check on us...he got about half way through his question, looked at my plate and said have you eaten that much by yourself? That was just you? Wow...you are good. And then there was me....Pause, smile and politely inform said server that we have all been given talents in this life, and eating was apparently mine. Stop camera, let's get the forklift and get the ol' girl out of her chair. We all had a good giggle until he came back and did it again. Okay, I am now officially in a self-esteem crisis (I need to be like my friend who is 9 months pregnant and gets hit on at the gas station...I could do with a little bit of that action). Honestly, atthis point I just wanted to get up and waddle out of the restaurant with the little dignity I had left. And I did...with my bag from Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory snuggled up cozily in my purse. I really did get a good laugh, but today I felt kind of bad and think maybe I should give up food....FOREVER....WAAAAAAHHHHHH.

So then at church today (and this is really a good thing because it came from a woman, if a man had said it, he would be castrated), I was talking with my really good friend who somehow makes me feel okay enough about my life that I have a horrible tendency to dump on her. But as I was explaining everything, she realized I was PMS-ing. DUH. I haven't done that in so long I completely don't recognize the signs (and thank you, you know who you are for telling it to me straight). Not that it stopped me from being psycho when I got home from church.

So now that the 2 events that really pushed me over the edge have been published for the entire world to see (and I just turned the cookies I was making into charcoal), I suppose I owe everyone an apology for being ornery, needy, pathetic, weepy and just plain mean to my kids. A super big apology to my kids for not being very nice, but remember, if you don't start cleaning up after yourselves...so help me...and so REALLY help you.

Lessons Learned
1. The server from dinner last night really needs to get married...I mean, why didn't you just ask me how much I weigh for the love of Pete....do you want to know how old I am too? SHEESH.

2. I miss the hormone balance I got from Depo....I hope things level out soon...and so does every one else.

3. I love my friends that tell me to take my head out of my bum and deal with the fact I am PMS-ing.

4. I really need to get over the fact I feel yucky and get back on the treadmill tomorrow, because I know that will make me feel better.

5. With as impatient as I am, I realize my children must have been blessed with way more patience because they have to deal with me....