Come On In, The Water Is FINE

Before you read this, I ask one thing. Just one. Very simple...while you read, you must have the tune of "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head" going in your head. Don't worry. It will all make sense.

And I changed my mind, I am going to ask something else, too. Each of my blogs is posted with absolute honesty, so in the interest of my already fragile psyche....NO MAKING FUN OF ME.

So let us begin.

Some days are better than others. Right? We have all been there. You make the best out of each and every day. However, some days, there is just no place to go with what you got. Especially when what you got shows up at midnight.

Remember, Raindrops keep falling on my head....

Now imagine....a solid, sound, deep sleep. Warm covers, inviting pillow and a 10 year old SCREAMING LIKE A MANIAC. "There is water everywhere in my room and the basement."

I jump out of bed to see what was the matter (is that plagiarism? I love the Night Before Christmas). I roar down the stairs, and I can hear it before I see it...but the kitchen floor is covered with water. I immediately see that it is coming from under the kitchen sink and throw the doors open. And it was like a scene out of a sitcom. A psychotic water line wreaking havoc with all of my cleaning materials. Bummer.

So in I go, with my hands in front of me to protect me from the violent stream of water that is intent on ruining every thing it can in the shortest amount of time. With a little wrestling (imagine me wrangling a spaghetti noodle), I manage to get it under control and shut off all of the water.

As Savannah went to get towels, I went to survey the damage in the basement. I walk down the stairs this time, because the sound of rushing water is so loud. I almost didn't go because at that point, I didn't really want to know. But my curiousity got the best of me....and that was dumb.

Raindrops keep falling on my head.....

And the beautiful rushing waterfall coming out of the vent in the playroom was truly a sight to behold. So I run to Savannahs room and survey the beautiful sounds of the rain dripping from her ceiling...lovely. Next job...get the bowls...lots and lots of bowls.

The first thing we do is try the wet/dry vac. It sucks...and not in the funny vacuum joke kind of way...it was useless. You would think with an inch of water on the floor it couldn't miss...but it did. So we do the best damage control we possibly could. I go upstairs, dejected, depressed and torqued out of my mind. And then...the A-HA moment hits. WooHoo.

I grab my carpet cleaner and begin soaking up several gallons of water. It was pure genius. By the time I was done, the carpet was simply damp, not soaked. YAY. We have done everything possible, we wait for the playroom to stop dripping and head to bed.

Morning has broken (okay, so I am really pushing it with the whole music thing, but oh well). And I go to survey the damage. Still a nightmare...what a surprise.

So I begin making phonecalls. And can I just say, we had the best contractor do our addition, and he was the first person I called. He was more than willing to get someone out immediately to get the wet ceiling down so we wouldn't get mold, mildew and all of the horrible things that make your house unlivable.

It took a couple of hours to get furniture moved and things covered, but the end result is quite fetching. A gaping whole in the ceiling that makes the owner of the room scream when she comes home from school is what every home needs.

And then there was the pulled back carpet, with the mega fans, the toys moved every where so I can get to the wet spot (giant wet spot). It was like a dinosaur used my playroom like a litter box, know what I mean?

So while we were having the fun of the aftermath, I get a plumber out here. (It happened to be our contractors son). Who by the way, kindly pointed out that it was my fault from when I replaced the water line, and it took him 10 minutes to fix. Now, this is where my fragile ego comes back into play...it was my fault. Okay? Are you happy? I said it. I am not saying anymore. And the bright spot, was that he didn't charge me. Thank goodness.

While it was an incredibly wild ride, especially for the middle of the night...we were very, very, very lucky. It isn't nearly as bad as it could be....cuz it could have been bad.

As per blogs past....

Lessons Learned.

1. I am NOT a plumber.
2. I love my carpet cleaner...it is a magical toy.
3. Savannah does NOT like getting rained on in the middle of the night.
4. Everything material can be fixed.
5. Oh yeah, I am NOT a plumber.

You can stop singing Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head now.

Diet Coke 'Sploding

Many of you know that we are unorthodox parents. Mostly because we are nothing but giant kids ourselves. So for Noahs 8th Birthday we had a 'Mythbusters' party of sorts.

For anyone not familiar with Mythbusters, it is a show on the Discovery Channel where they find all sorts of myths, stories and urban legends and debunk them through 'scientific discovery' which usually ends with something being blown up. WE LOVE THAT SHOW. One of our favorite episodes is the one where they figure out how to get the biggest bang out of Mentos and Diet Coke. (Again, for anyone who doesn't know, when you put Mentos in Diet Coke, it is like carbonation on steroids.)

So we invited 5 of Noah's friends, his sisters (because they too love to blow up Diet Coke) and his little brother (we always need comic relief), and let the Diet Coke explosions begin.

With some careful planning, lining up of Diet coke bottles, and instructions, we were ready to get started. Although all of the kids wanted to set them off all at the same time, we had to nix that (we had 2 hours to kill), and we only had 17 bottles of Diet Coke.

While as a family we have set off Diet Coke bottles many times, we were surprised that some of the kids had never heard of the wonderful world of psycho-carbonation. It was an adventure to be sure. And our guests couldn't believe that they got to 'blow stuff up' at a birthday party.

After the first round the kids started to really get into the 'project'. They were using paper as funnels and trying to figure out how to get as many Mentos into the Diet Coke bottle as possible (because the more Mentos the bigger the show).

We managed to get a few really great spouts going. The only problem we faced with our little experiment was how to get Caleb to stop drinking from the geysers. And from what I understand, because you know they all had to try it, peppermint Mentos and Diet Coke Tastes NASTY.

It looks like they had a good time. And if they didn't, I did. Once all of the Diet Coke and Mentos had been sprayed all over the road, it was time to move on. And we made rainbow colored volcanoes. Sorry folks, no pictures, I was too busy trying not to get food coloring all over myself.

We discovered many wonderful and exciting things in our scientific endeavors.

All in all it was an incredibly fun day, right up Noahs alley (and quite frankly, the rest of ours as well.) So, Happy Birthday Noah...and you thought you wouldn't make it to this birthday.

Lessons Learned

1. Diet Coke and Mentos is one of the best activities EVER.

2. Caffeine, 6 little boys, 2 little girls and a spastic two year old...not a good idea.

3. When making volcanos out of baking soda and vinegar, putting the lid on will NOT make the bottle explode...apparently oxygen is a crucial part of the chemical mix.

4. It takes forever for food coloring to mix up in the vinegar, so if you add it at the end, right before the baking soda, you will get a fascinating rainbow effect in your volcano.

5. When your kid wants to blow up Diet Coke and Mentos for his birthday, let him. WAY FUN.

Pizza Pandemonium

Okay, there won't be very many of these, but this will be a picture-less blog. However, for posterity (as are most of my posts) I had to get this story up.

After spending a week in bed with the flu, and eating various fast food, we decided to round out the week with pizza. Yay, PizzaHut online ordering. We enter in our order, and send it, at which point the pop-up window informs us that it will be delivered in 100 minutes. Yes, that is correct...100 minutes. So I call PizzaHut directly to confirm. Yup, there was a storm, therefore, it will be 100 minutes. And we cancel the order.

Alright Dominoes, your turn. Felix calls this time, and they only have a 40 minute wait. Groovy. We order, we wait.

After 40 minutes, we still have no pizza. At this point we start mulling over whether or not we should call and find out where the pizza is. And gratefully, the doorbell rings. Guess who?

PIZZA HUT. No, I'm not kidding. The poor deliver driver started taking out pizza out, when Felix informed him that we cancelled our order. You should have seen the look of pure dispair on the mans face. He said so far it was the second one that was cancelled that he tried to deliver. So we turned him away, and called Dominoes.

Dominoes was confused by our call because "Weren't you supposed to pick that up?" No, we are lazy people. Delivery...thank you very much. It took, them 10 minutes to find our pizza, but they offered to deliver it right away and give it to us for free. Awesome.

So about 20 minutes later, Dominoes shows up with the pizza. The order is wrong, but it was free, so we took it.

Lessons Learned:

1. If PizzaHut shows up at your door with pizza, buy it. Don't ask questions. Just buy it.
2. When your pizza hasn't shown up in the promised time, call right away. You might have a chance at it still be warm when it finally does arrive.
3. When you have been eating fast food for a week, nothing tastes good, not even free pizza.
4. Teach your children to cook early (even if it is scrambled eggs) so that when you are deathly ill, you don't have to resort to funding the fast food industry.
5. Teach your husband to cook. So that when you are deathly ill, you don't have to resort to funding the fast food industry.

Cat Bathing 101

I know that this is no flaming toilet, but for posterity I had to take pictures and post. Meet Persephone (Goddess of the Underworld), Seph for short. She is the youngest of our three cats, we love her, she loves us, but some days, she falls a few cards short of a full deck, IF ya know what I mean.

Well a couple of weeks ago (you can tell I am trying to catch up from all of the Christmas chaos), the poor kitty had been out playing, when we opened the door, the pathetic little creature was sitting on the porch half, yes half, covered in mud. Here are the theories:

1. She was sitting in the mud (because we don't have a front yard yet), and fell asleep and fell over.

2. She was sitting in the mud (because she heard it was good for her skin), got bored and fell over.

3. She was sitting in the mud (because she had just inhaled a ton of catnip and was high) and just plain fell over.

4. There is no excuse, she fell over.

Anyhoo, it went a bit like this:

We take the dirty little kitty to the bathroom, because after watching her try so hard to get the mud off of herself, we decide she needs a bit of help. Savannah sat in the background telling me what a bad idea she thinks it is to give the cat a bath. My response, DUH, okay, DUH.

I don't know a single person who thinks it is a good idea to give a cat a bath, that is like a death wish, know what I mean.

We put the baby kitty in the water, she did GREAT, for about 10 seconds, then she realized she was wet and started yowling like you have never heard before. It was funny. Because if you look closely at my face (OKAY, not that close...back up people), you can see that I am just waiting for the full on assault and gratitude that Savannah is in the room so she can call 911 after I am slashed to near death.

In order to save my own life, we shorted the process, skip the shampoo call a rinse good and let go and run for our lives. Believe it or not we escape with no injuries.

Don't ask the cat, but she survived. A little worse for the wear, but a little less mud. and that was good for all.

She was torqued for a while, but at the end of the day, she forgave us.

So in case you ever need the help, here are my tips for some good ol' fashioned CAT WASHING!!

CAT WASHING 101

1. If you fill up the tub as much as you can, you don't have to work so hard at rinsing.

2. Unless you are really afraid, don't let your kids in to help, all they do is make fun of you.

3. Soap is optional unless they are STANKY...and I mean STANKY.

4. Believe it or not, cats are very forgiving, after you suck up with cat nip and kitty treats.

5. Finish your yard as quickly as possible, that way when the special needs kitty falls over, they fall on grass, not dirt.

The Carnage of Christmas 2007

Ahhhhhh.....it's over, it's over, it's over!!!!! Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas! I love that everybody is in a giving mood, and people are over all more friendly, smiley and sparkley. But let's be honest boys and girls, there is a reason that Christmas comes down at 8am on December 26th. As with any aspect of life, the law of opposition is in effect. To counteract all of the twinkly, sparkly people, there are those who cut you off, take stuff they want out of your cart and generally will try and kill you to get the last "it" toy of the year. And that is how Christmas is just for the general population. THEN, there are the kids.......

Just like any other Christmas morning, it all starts to peacefully. There they are the gift, wrapped (and sparkly) under the tree, lights twinkling with the wonder of the day...and then THEY show up. So cute, excited and MANIC! The wrapping paper flies in every direction, no care given for the defenseless babies and parents. And if you look very carefully, behind safety goggles of course, you can see the bits of chocolate flying out of their mouths as they squeal in delight. Fortunately, the chaos lasts but a moment. Seriously, it only takes a minutes and it's over. Whew!!!!!! Then everyone, after the initial excitement of opening the packages, takes a closer look, so they can decide whether to thank or berate the parents. It is always a relief when the thanks appears, instead of facing the fears of having to stand in the return line for an eternity.

And with some of the children (who have absolutely no personality whatsoever), you have posing! And others sheer excitement at the gift they never expected to receive! And yet others, offer comic relief at the misunderstanding at what the gift is exactly supposed to do.

Even with the chaos, they are still kind of cute.

So at the close of this blog, what are the lessons learned?

CHRISTMAS 2007 LESSONS

1. It doesn't matter whether you have a small Christmas or a big Christmas, the carboard box is still the favorite toy (for kids of all ages).

2. If you close your eyes, it is all over way too quick. My advice, just hold on tight and enjoy the ride.

3. Chocolate for breakfast (unless you are the mom) is a BAD, BAD, BAD idea.

4. Choosing non-breakable ornaments was a great idea. Too bad the 2 year old took them all off and hid them.

5. Christmas is and will forever be about LOVE.

So from our family to your, regardless of the chaos or peace surrounding your household and the holiday season, MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY NEW YEAR and much love.

The Morgan Family

Felix, Wendy, Savannah, Noah, Baylee and Caleb

Let Your Southern Shine!!!

Every day brings a new adventure, however, some adventures are better than others.

It was a day like any other. Kids off to school, the regular messes (that never seem to end), and an endless supply of Spongebob. But somewhere in the middle, the day went horribly awry. It began so innocently...a little something like this. A boy and his ball. You wouldn't think anything of it. A normal two year old activity....until....the toilet would no longer flush. The flood was mild, the water was shut off before the water completely covered the floor. No big...but what could possibly be causing the backup. I know it was him. Caleb may be cute, but a disaster in the making. Especially with the soft strains of Spongebob playing sadistically in the background. Oh well, naptime for him...plunging time for me.

An hour later, it still wouldn't budge. Time to call in the big guns. "Honey, there was a flood, call someone to fix it." A couple of hours later, the Pipe Snake appears at our door with a friendly "Good Luck!" Hey, we can do that! So we plunge, we pipe snake, we plunge, we pipe snake...and no progress. And then...disaster, the two year old gets trapped in the excercise equipment and breaks his toe. I am done on toilet duty....Felix is left to go it alone. He too makes no progress. Hmmmmmm....a very perplexing situation at this point. Tomorrow, the toilet comes apart.

Tomorrow comes, along with a new set of adventures, like changing Baylee's (Sweaty Foot Girl) from a regular cast to a boot because of blisters caused by sweating. Once she is off to school with the boot, I softly hear the toilet beckoning...."Unclog me....Unclog me....Must flush!" I roll up my sleeves and begin. Again, I snake...no luck. And now, the toilet comes apart. This has to work. IT HAS TO WORK. Flip the toilet upside down and snake from the bottom. No luck. Call Grandma to complain...she has a wonder tool. Pick up the kids and pick up the tool. What a nifty little springy grabber thing.

I decide that I don't want to do this alone anymore, I bribe Savannah with the new Jonas Brothers CD if she will stick her hand in the toilet and get that bugger out! Hand in, it doesn't budge. We decide that it is time to fashion tools, just as our ancestors of old. If there isn't a tool that works, make one!

The myriad of washers, nuts, pushy pipe things and barbecue skewers that bend to make a fascinating reacher thingamabobber. And when you put two the them together, imagine the leverage!!! This is science at its best!!!!

So away goes Savannah, with the tools fashioned of fine metals...but no luck...and then the neighbors catch wind of the adventure. Lisa, takes a stab at it (literally, with a pocket knife), Sara gets over her fear of poo water and tries. And along comes Baylee, she too fails in the quest for proper flushing. Two hours, the group toiled and toiled over the plight of the toilet, and to no avail.

Time for a change of tactics. Okay, load her up. We load the toilet into the car, and head to the car wash, because a pressure washer has to be the answer. After the toilet is loaded and secured in the back of the car, we waited for the cover of darkness before heading to what had to be the answer to our dilemma. Darkness comes and we begin the mission. Once arriving at the car wash bay, we pull in just enough to hide what we are doing. I wait to make sure no one is looking and move the toilet into the bay as quickly as possible before anyone notices there is a toilet at the car wash. Get my quarters ready, load 'em up and FIRE!!!!!!

After getting completely drenched by the backspray, I notice, the water is draining!!!!! SUCCESS!!!! Savannah come out and check and see how far this has moved!!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT AT ALL? Impossible. After exhausting our quarter supply, we return dejected to our home. After a phone call to Felix, it is determined that the time has come to burn that sucker out! You think I'm kidding? I don't kid, not about fire and toilets!

As you can see, we got a fairly good fire going. The kids were really hoping for marshmallows and s'mores, but something about the toilet kind of ruined that for me. You would be surprised how hard it is to get a fire going in a toilet. Lighting the paper on fire didn't seem to last very long. I'm sure it had something to do with just being pressure washed. Fire and water don't mix well. That is okay, we had a can of aerosol hairspray...makes for a good show, but still doesn't stay lit. No problem....we have gasoline...and we have fire.

We gather together and sing with one accord "Let's gather round the campfire, and sing a campfire song". You didn't think that Spongebob wouldn't join the fray at some point, did you? While enjoying the warmth from the bowl, our neighbors came by, drove by and commented on our fine yard decoration and creative fire pit. Funny, our invitations for s'mores were repeatedly turned down (I wouldn't have really roasted marshmallows over a toilet).

Well, as fun as it was, it was time to put the fire out. We hose it down, flip it over and after noticing the crack going all the way down the side, smash it into pieces.

As you can see, the ball made it unscathed. Not a burn mark on it. Go figure.

Lessons Learned:

1. If you want a good fire, use gasoline.

2. Porcelain burns at high temperatures.

3. Little plastic balls are indestructible.

4. Little Hands with little balls in them are very expensive.

5. A burning toilet brings families together.