Say No To Drugs

Okay...even when drugs are pharmaceutical and approved by doctors there have to be limits.

Last Wednesday I had ankle surgery...no big deal...not gonna go into it...more than I expected...but learned a valuable lesson about drugs.

I was in recovery and ready to go home at about 2:30. My kind after care staff didn't want me to be uncomfortable so between 12:30 and 2:30 I had 2 shots of morphine and 2 Percocets. I was feeling pretty dang good so I started asking to go home. My sweet over-protective nurse said as soon as I can go to the bathroom I can go. Well, get me some crutches, I want out of here.

We head (okay hobble) to the bathroom where I trip over the nurses feet with my crutches because she is so close to me. We get to the bathroom, where she won't let Felix in to help me. She was so sweet, she wanted to do it herself! Ummm, no. I have space bubble issues I'll take care of it.

I get comfortable in the bathroom and she starts talking, talking, talking. Okay, stop talking. Then the wave of dizziness and nausea hit like a thundering brick wall. I grab onto the rail next to me, holding on for dear life! The nurse runs out to get me some alcohol swabs to sniff (which by the way really do help with nausea) and while the slow closing hinge takes its time to close the door I practiced my parade wave at all of the strangers looking at me, while holding on for dear life. The nurse came back in, I waved again.

After the nausea had passed I began raining on myself because I was sweating so badly! Really, it was like I was raining! Gross. The nurse starts talking again and apparently I have a shy bladder. So she has a trick, she leaves to get and get it and yes! Success...but only after I waved at the people in the hall again!

I go to wash my hands and I am standing there for maybe a whole 20 seconds when I tell the nurse to go and get the wheelchair and collapse over the sink. The nurse freaks out and throws my IV bag into the garbage. Yes INTO the garbage...she fishes it out and then goes to get the wheelchair. By that time Felix knows there is something going on. He says me laying on the sink and picks me up and puts me in the wheelchair. We head back to my hole in the wall recovery room, Felix safely driving me in the wheelchair, the nurse holding my IV. Someone stops the nurse to talk and as Felix continues driving and my IV line begins to stretch. Rather than wait for my IV to be ripped out my arm, I gently tug on it to remind the nurse there is someone attached to the bag she is holding!

We safely make it back and the solution to my sudden dizzy/nausea thing is of course, more drugs. Demoral and Phenergren. At this point I have had all of these drugs within a three hour time period. So what happens next...my blood pressure drops and I can no longer get enough oxygen. Great.

So my two hour stay in recovery has turned into a 4+ hour recovery. Kids: Don't do drugs.

Lessons Learned
1. Too much is too much.
2. It's hard to have bad feelings about the nurse because she was so sweet to the point of too much, but so sweet.
3. My foot is fat and ugly.
4. I still haven't looked at it.
5. I hate crutches!