The Morgan's Little Instruction Book

We Are Daughters....

2012-01-29T19:34:00.006-07:00

I have officially given my second talk in less than six months. For someone absolutely terrified of public speaking....this is huge. So for your reading pleasure.....here's my talk, minus ad libs, tears and miscellaneous rambling.

We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we loveHim. WE WILL “STAND aswitnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places” as westrive to live the Young Women values, which are:

Faith • Divine Nature • Individual Worth •Knowledge • Choice and Accountability • Good Works • Integrity • and Virtue

WE BELIEVE as we come to accept and act upon these values, WE WILL BE PREPARED to strengthen home and family, makeand keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy theblessings of exaltation.

Every Sunday theYoung Women stand together as symbols of truth and righteousness and repeat theYoung Women theme. Each Sunday we sayand listen to these words, as a reminder of our value to our Father in Heaven andthe sacred nature by which we are here.

BrotherHolmes asked me to speak on how the Young Women’s theme could apply to all ofus as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The easiest way to do this is look at eachpart of the theme.

The firstpart of the theme says “We are Daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves usand we love Him.” In one of the firstpages of the Personal Progress handbook, the First Presidency wrote a messagefor the Young Women of the church. Inpart, it reads, “You are a beloved daughter ofHeavenly Father, prepared to come to the earth at this particular time for asacred and glorious purpose. You have a noble responsibility to use yourstrength and influence for good. Your loving Heavenly Father has blessed youwith talents and abilities that will help you fulfill your divinemission.” Can this not be said of everyone of us?

We have eachbeen sent to earth to fill a divine mission. Our missions vary as much as we do. Sister Majorie Pay Hinckley said, “Think about your particularassignment at this time in your life. It may be to get an education, it may beto rear children, it may be to be a grandparent, it may be to care for anrelieve the suffering of someone you love, it may be to do a job in the mostexcellent way possible, it may be to support someone who has a difficultassignment of their own. Our assignments are varied and they change from timeto time. Don't take them lightly. Give them your full heart and energy. Do themwith enthusiasm.”

Our Father in Heaven did not give us our missionslightly. I am certain that before weaccepted the opportunity to come to Earth, He took a moment with each ofus. I know that He explained that itwouldn’t be an easy road. I know Heexplained that there would be many trials and tribulations along the way, butthat there would also be great joys. Iknow He told me how much He loves me and that if I didn’t think I could do it,He would understand. And He made surethat I understood He would stand beside me and that the armies of Heaven wouldsurround me and that I would not have to take one step of the journey alone.

The next part of the Young Women’s theme comes from Mosiah18:9. “We will stand as witnesses of Godat all times and in all things, and in all places as we strive to live theYoung Women values.”

The values by which we live are Faith, Divine Nature,Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, Integrityand Virtue.

Why are these 8 things the values that Young Women’s is basedon? They are cornerstones.

In Alma 32:32 we read, “Faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things;therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which aretrue.” Faith is the building block that bringsus to church each Sunday, and brings us to our knees in times of great trialand great joy.

“Be partakers of the divine nature. … Giving all diligence, add to yourfaith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; and to knowledge temperance; and totemperance patience; and to patience godliness; and to godliness brotherlykindness; and to brotherly kindness charity” (2 Peter 1:4–7). It is not necessary to be a Young Woman to recognize your DivineWorth. It is only necessary to recognizethat you are a Child of God.

D&C 18:10 says, “Remember the worth of souls is great in the sightof God.” Our Father in Heaven knows whowe are. There can be no question, thatto Him we are HIS child, not another in a sea of faces. Anyone who has ever received a blessing canattest to the fact that He is aware of our individual needs. He is mindful of WHO WE ARE.

D&C 88:118 says, “Seek learning, even by study and also byfaith.” We may not all be destined forcontinuing education, but we are not to strive only for secular knowledge. We are here to learn of Him, and how we canbe more like Him through all that we do. Our Savior gave us the example and teachings necessary; we have simplyto follow and learn from His example.

We have been counseled in Joshua 24:15 to “Choose you this day whom yewill serve;…but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” At any age, one of the most difficult lessonswe have to learn is consequence. We seemto think that we can rationalize our way out of anything and everything. But with each choice, there will always be aconsequence. Our choices can bring greatsorrow or great joy.

Good works is a necessary key to living the gospel 3 Nephi 12:16 says, “Therefore let your lightso shine before this people, that they may see your good works and glorify yourFather who is in Heaven.” One of myfavorite scripture mastery verses is from James 2:26. “For as the body without the spirit is dead,so faith without works is dead also.” Faith is a verb, it requires action, and how better to exemplify ourSavior’s example than through service to others.

Job 27:5 reads, “Till I die I will not remove mine integrity fromme.” Joseph B. Wirthlin gave hisdefinition of integrity in a conference talk from April of 1990, “To me,integrity means always doing what is right and good, regardless of theimmediate consequences. It means beingrighteous from the very depth of our soul, not only in our actions, but, moreimportantly, in our thoughts and in our hearts. Personal integrity implies such trustworthiness and incorruptibilitythat we are incapable of being false to a trust or covenant.” I would like to add that integrity meansstanding for what is right, even if it means standing alone.

The final value is virtue. YoungWomen’s General President, Elaine S. Dalton said, “Virtue is a pattern ofthought and behavior based on high moral standards”, which was taken fromPreach my Gospel, but she went on to say, “It encompasses chastity and moralpurity. Virtue begins in the heart andin the mind. It is nurtured in thehome. It is the accumulation ofthousands of small decisions and actions.”

Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice andAccountability, Good Works, Integrity and Virtue are not simply values forYoung Women. They are meant for each ofus, as a guide for each day and encouragement to “Hold to the Rod”.

The final section of the YoungWomen’s theme says, “WE BELIEVE as we come to accept and act upon these values, WE WILL BE PREPARED to strengthen home and family, makeand keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy theblessings of exaltation.”

Living the values outlined in the Personal Progressprogram prepares us, each of us. Age is irrelevant;we are being prepared for each new breath, each new experience and each newlesson.

I love that the theme specifies we are beingprepared to strengthen home and family. The family is under attack. Satangoes to great lengths to lessen the importance of a family in today’sworld. Part of the “Family: A Proclamationto the World reads, “…The disintegration of the family will bring uponindividuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient andmodern prophets.” However, throughliving the values of the Gospel we are able to create armor against the biasesof the world and protect that which we and our Father in Heaven hold dear.

By learning who we are to our Father in Heaven, andrecognizing our sacred role as His children we become worthy to enter thetemple and make the covenants that will help us return to Him.

Our mandate from Our Father is simple, “Wherefore,ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfectbrightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feastingupon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father:Ye shall have eternal life.” (2 Nephi 31:20)

And it will be joyous, “And for this cause ye shallhave fullness of joy; and ye shall sit down in the kingdom of my Father, yea,your joy shall be full, even as the Father hath given me fullness of joy; andye shall be even as I am, and I am even as the Father…” (3 Nephi 28:10)

[There was some filler here....ad libbing, crying, miscellaneous rambling....]

I would like to close by urging you to develop your relationship with Heavenly Father. Get to know Him as He knows you.

And to close, I would like to share the theme one more time, with a single word change.

We are CHILDREN of our Heavenly Father, who lovesus, and we love Him. WE WILL “STAND aswitnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places” as westrive to live the Young Women values, which are:

Faith • Divine Nature • Individual Worth •Knowledge • Choice and Accountability • Good Works • Integrity • and Virtue

Excessive Wipers

2012-01-24T16:34:00.004-07:00

So I have evidently entered the gross phase of my life. I thought that happened around 18 months old....oh no! Not me! Now is the time.

Last Thursday, Noah was making root beer....yes, my little Emeril was feeling the soda vibe. There was no room in the fridge upstairs, so I told him to chill the syrup he made downstairs.

The next thing I know there is screaming. There is lots and lots of screaming. Now, for those of you who aren't aware, Noah is perfectly happy wearing socks with holes in them....but get them wet....and somebody may as well have taken a sledge hammer to Humpty Dumpty, set him on fire and had scrambled eggs.

The screaming???? Noah's socks were wet. They were very, very wet. In the downstairs kitchenette, there was about an inch and half of water and no idea where it was coming from. It hadn't reached the carpet, so we mopped it up and tried to figure out where it was coming from.

I went in the utility room to check the water heater and realized there was a puddle of water in the middle of the floor. Correct-o mundo! Puddle in the middle of the floor....hmmmmm. Insecurities about because I am feeling KAH-RAZ-EEEE. How did there get to be a puddle in the middle of the floor?

The next day everything was fine, dry, and fine.

Then Saturday happened. There was even more water on the floor! What the growl????? Felix was home so he was able to validate that I am NOT insane (at least, not that way). He found the cemented over drain in the utility room....that was beginning to crumble away because of the water. Double uh-oh!

So we cleaned it up and called the landlord. Who didn't call back....and didn't call back.....and didn't call back.

Then we woke up Sunday morning. I was totally ready for a little peace....until I went downstairs....and it was flood number 3. Yes....3.

We called the landlord again, and he said he had never had a problem like that. So, for right now that is neither here nor there. He did tell Felix that he thinks one of the kids was putting too much toilet paper down the toilet. Really????

So, we had a plumber out on a Sunday morning....PREMIUM price of course!!!!! He augered 75 feet of pipe, said he couldn't feel anything and couldn't recreate the problem. Okay....it stayed dry all day, so he must of gotten it! YAY!!!!!

And it stayed dry on Monday. Yes!!!!

So Tuesday, I took the kids to school, went to the civic center and then home to shower and start on my list for the day.

Then I went downstairs and found the flood of floods. The kitchenette, the mini dining room, part of the family room, utility room, music room and theater room. Not good.

I immediately called Felix and the plumber....my favorite plumber, we're good buddies because we have seen one another every month since we've moved here. But Keith fixed it. It wasn't inside the house. It was outside the house. Near the main....ewwwwwwwww.....

So lemme talk landlord for minute. I can't blame the guy for looking for reasons for what was happening....he's not here. They are good people and they have been good to us....and let's face it, plumbing is my ancient nemesis from beyond.... But too much toilet paper?

No matter what kind of preconceived notions you have, we are not excessive wipers. Thorough? Yes. Excessive....really people....

Lessons Learned
1. I still hate plumbing.
2. I really, really hate plumbing.
3. I really hope I wasn't wading through other people's poop.
4. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
5. WIPE ON!!!

PANTS ON!...No...Off!....No....ON!

2012-01-11T20:57:00.002-07:00

This is a funny story. At least it is to us. And since I'm trying to share a little humor from every day...or at least every day something funny happens....this is Tuesday. And I will change the name of the guest in order to protect the innocent and the GUILTY! (And the fact that he was only 6 might have something to do with it too!)

Tuesday afternoon Caleb had his first play date with a friend from school. We are going to call him Aytch (Pronounced 'H'....like the letter). We picked up Aytch from school and just brought him home with us. The little boys were immediately off and running and playing through the house.

I had to do something....really, do I know what I do each day....nah, I don't....so I had to do something in my room (which is right off of the family room) and Noah, Savannah and Baylee were with me telling me about their days. Since we just switched schools last week, we still have lots to discuss about each day as we adjust to our new environment.

As we were talking, Caleb came in and let me know that Aytch needed to take his pants off and where should he do that? Well....the best place is the bathroom....don't ya think?

A few moments later, Aytch came out of the bathroom....sans pants....with his pants and shoes in hand. I called to Caleb and asked him to come into my room. "Hey Caleb, is Aytch wearing pants right now?" "No." "Why not?" "I don't know." "Does he need new pants?" "I don't know. Hey Aytch, do you need new pants?" "No."

So I decided to take the matter into my own hands. "Aytch, are you wearing pants?" "No." "Do you need new pants?" "No." "Aytch, why aren't you wearing pants?" "Because I wanted to get comfortable."

Okay.

Lessons Learned
1. I might need a sign that says something about PANTS ON!
2. Caleb was able to delicately let his friend know that we wear pants here. I didn't know Caleb could be delicate.
3. Noah makes a great undercover spy that goes out in the open to make sure people are wearing pants.
4. I suppose every one is more comfortable without their pants....although not in front of strangers......
5. I'm grateful I have a home where guests feel comfortable enough to take their pants off? WHAT???

PUKE-A-PA-LOOOOO-ZA

2012-01-10T15:42:00.001-07:00

Funny is everywhere. That can't be helped....although it does help when you have a little bit of a twisted sense of humor.

So, last night we were all hanging out....which is pretty much what we do. I made Noah laugh...and he laughed....really, really hard. Then he started coughing....really, really hard. Then he started vomiting....really, really huge amounts.

At first we were all stunned. Felix just stood there and stared. Savannah just stood there and stared. I just stood there and stared. After about the third or fourth major heave, I finally realized what was happening and ran to get some towels. I was just throwing them at him, trying to capture a little bit of the massive amounts of fluid coming out of his body.

Then Savannah realized what was happening....her reaction was a tad bit different from mine. She ran out of the room screaming that now she was going to throw up....and then she started dry heaving. Neat-o.

Felix still stood there. I finally yelled at him to go and get a bowl to catch some of the....whatever it was. Just as he jumped into action, Noah stopped throwing up.

So Felix started to try and help.....from a distance. "Noah, take your shirt off." "Noah, don't do that....you're just making it get everywhere." "Noah....Noah....Noah....Noah." Poor Noah.

We finally decided there was no hope for the T-shirt or the towels so we sent Savannah to go and get a garbage bag. About that time, the dog decided that it wanted a snack....a vomit snack. So I start yelling at the dog to get out of the room, then Savannah comes back, freaks out about the dog trying to eat the puke and starts dry heaving again.

We (meaning I) (okay, mostly Noah with severe words of encouragement to stop get puke all over the floor), get Noah's shirt and the towels that so selflessly sacrificed themselves for the greater good, into the garbage bags when Caleb decides to run into the room to see what's happening.

"Hey, what's going on in here?" Then he starts dry heaving. Then he runs out of the room screaming, "I almost threw up because I saw Noah's nipples."

Lessons Learned
1. Try as you might....you can't keep your six year old from talking.
2. Noah is not allowed to eat Totino's pizza rolls EVER AGAIN!
3. Carpet cleaner with Oxy Clean in it actually works.
4. Noah was totally fine, he just laughed until he threw up.
5. Sometimes, vomit is just funny.

A New Year....

2012-01-10T15:24:00.001-07:00

A New Year, A New You!!!!!

What a load of crap! Sorry, but the new me is trapped in the old me's body....oh well.

This year I have no, I repeat, NO resolutions! I did that on purpose. But here are my goals:

1. Be happy with me.
2. Be happy with where I am, why I'm there and what I'm doing.
3. Be grateful.

There it is. It's all out there. I'm going to try and change from Oscar the Grouch to Elmo.

Lessons INTENDED to LEARN
1. That there is JOY everywhere.
2. That there is HAPPINESS everywhere.
3. That there is LOVE everywhere.
4. That there is PEACE everywhere.
5. That HE is EVERYWHERE.

One EMOTIONAL Roller Coaster

2012-01-02T10:26:00.002-07:00

2011 was an adventurous year! And because I'm trying to change a few things....like no longer isolating myself....I need to have a little bit of emotional vomit. And what better place than "Ye Olde Blog".

I am hoping to be more forthcoming in 2012....with myself and everyone else.

January
It was January....what do I say. I had pre-cancerous lesions removed, which essentially made it look like I had been in a bar fight....which is what I told people. Because that is way cooler than telling people the dermatologist beat me up.

Mom had major surgery.

Grandma was in the hospital.

February
This one was quite painful. Grandma reunited with Grandpa.....happy for them, but I miss them both so much, it still hurts.....it really, really hurts.

This was also the month that we had the first stirring of a job that may take us someplace new.

Noah turned 11...had to celebrate his birthday in the midst of a lot of emotional pain.

Gained a poodle. She's kind of a spaz now.

Dad nearly died. That kind of sucked.

Mom broke her back. That was awesome.

March
Spent the entire month negotiating about the job. It wasn't fun...exciting, or anything else. I started working on the house, because I think deep down, I knew things were going to change.

Dad nearly died again. It still sucked.

April
I think this is month we accepted the job. I'll be honest.....I don't remember a heck of a lot. Everything happened so slowly, yet so quickly. It was crazy! I just remember telling Felix that if we were supposed to go, Heavenly Father would prepare the way. And He did. We only said NO to the job 5 times.

I really started tackling the house. We knew there was no way to sell it, we are too far underwater (thank you economy), so the plan from the beginning was to rent....and thank you ocd, for making me fix everything.

Caleb turned 6. He likes six. We still haven't gotten over how awful 3 was. (It was actually fine, he just didn't like 3 and wanted to be either 2 or 4....I think he has a thing for even numbers)

I think my dad came home in April....again, it's all kind of fuzzy. And I know mom had a major surgery in there somewhere too. Fuzzy....it's all fuzzy.

May
Started talking to all of the doctors about how to transition Baylee's care. Again, this was part of the "if Heavenly Father wants us there He will prepare a way" thing I was doing. Because He did. We received personal recommendations from everyone for doctors in St. Louis.

I got a new nephew. Baby Owen. You could tell he'd been hanging out with Grandma....she taught him how to treat us all like trained monkeys.

Caleb decided to have pneumonia....bad enough they didn't know it was pneumonia. He was hospitalized the night before I was supposed to fly to Missouri and sign papers for our rental home. That was awesome. He spent 4 days there. Scared the pants right off of me. But that it when my faith started changing to trust.

June
Baylee hit the big 1-0. Nobody really had parties this year. I just didn't have it in me. So sad little monkeys. You would think she hit the teen years...she's been ornery ever since.

We started going to Lagoon once a week with the Grants. The most fun EVER! Sara and Savannah made me want to die on Wicked several time and I just had a good time soaking up Lisa (I still want to almost cry when I think about her....it's hard not having her right across the street!).

It was the beginning of the best summer of ever.

July
Packing, packing and more packing. Painting, painting and more painting. Cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning. We bought the antique baby grand that the owners of the house in Missouri didn't want to move. I called it my birthday present and we were all good.

I think my mom might have had one more surgery. I think.

We got boxed up. The carpet cleaners came and our stuff hit the road. Then our cars hit the road.

We saw Sam get baptized (it was beautiful). And realized how much we were going to miss out on.

We spoke in church....why? Because Bishop Wilde wanted everyone to see me blubbering like an idiot.

We spent the final days making our rounds, saying our good-byes and letting our hearts grieve.

August
Moving day was the day from Aytch EEEEEE Double Hockey Sticks. Problems with the animals. Worst heat wave ever in Missouri (humidity sucks). And sad babies. And a sad mommy.

Met new doctors and got treatment scheduled. That was an adventure.

We got our stuff. Started unpacking, got registered for school. Met the ward. Started school.

Caleb got beat up on the school bus. No more school bus.

And I got to speak in church again. Neato.

September
Fought with T-Mobile....and won. That was cool. Still unpacking. Still crazy. Got called to Young Women's and Felix got called to primary. Savannah turned 14. Sigh. I don't think it was the worst birthday ever...but it was a little lonelier than most, we still didn't know very many people.

October
This was personality shift month. Separation anxiety. Every day vomiting. Nuff said. But it was sad, really, really sad.

For Halloween, we sat in the basement, turned off all the lights and watched a movie.

Dad had a birthday....it was pretty low key. Everything seemed pretty low key.

New nephew #2 made it. I haven't met him yet. It makes me sad that I can't talk to him about poop.

November
Starting riding lessons.

Met with new doctors for the boys.

Transferred Caleb to St. Pauls Lutheran school.

Savannah was threatened at school, it was caught on tape and the kid was referred to the juvenile court system.

Had Thanksgiving with our new friends, who are also transplants and we spent the holiday alone....together. Yup...that's how we roll.

Got called from YW counselor to YW president. Oh boy.....let the adventure begin!

December
Kept really busy, learning to do crafts. Half decorated for Christmas and just tried to keep rolling with it all.

Baylee had a solo at the choir program. Savannah also had a beautiful program. Caleb got to have a Christmas program about Jesus. THAT was cool.

Baylee fell in the frozen pool, and had pneumonia. Then bronchitis. Then double ear infections.

Felix had bronchitis.

Savannah had a throat infection and a sinus infection.

Noah had 2 sinus infections and an ear infection.

Caleb had a sinus infection and an ear infection.

Yup, everyone was sick. All. Month. Long.

Christmas was small and sweet, and it helped make up for some of the illness crazy. I love it when Christmas falls on Sunday. We were supposed to do a family special musical number, but I ended up getting Felix to get permission to play guitar, and he did a duet with our new friend who plays the harp, while all of the kiddos sang. It was perfect for me!

So it's 2012. There will be a post about that shortly.

It was a tough year. A really, really tough year. And it's over now. Good.

Lessons Learned
1. The world doesn't stop turning...even when you want it too.
2. Trust is a world apart from faith (you have to have faith to trust...it's not a one or the other kind of thing). Trust is so much bigger.
3. I can DO Hard Things. (Thanks mom for the reminder)
4. Hiding away from the world, doesn't make things ANY easier.
5. My kids can do hard things too. They have more than proven that.

MORE Than Yesterday

2011-11-10T08:54:00.001-07:00

Yesterday....hmmmm....I feel a little bit bad about my post yesterday. I was in a pretty deep, dark funk....not that things are super bright and SHINY this morning, but laying awake all night has brought me a little bit of perspective.

Okay, I didn't just lay awake all night....I cried, I prayed...and I realized. I realized how I was going about this all wrong. I've never had to bear this burden alone....none of us ever do. How grateful I am for a loving Father in Heaven who can teach gently, and soothe the spirit of a worried mommy.

Last night we had a combined activity with the Young Men and Young Women. Human chess. I suck at regular chess...there was NO way I was going to get into human chess. In hindsight, I wouldn't have had as much to think about last night if I had been involved with human chess.

I had one friend who told me about how much she got done when her husband was out of town...because they were so in love they just followed each other around when he WAS in town. AWESOME! I feel like that about Felix, but I don't act on it. I need to show my husband more how awesome I think he is. She gave me a wonderful sense of resolve to make sure my husband and my kiddos know how special they are and too not get caught up in the hype of life.

Then as I was leaving, I had a friend in her car (who always puts the best jokes on FB) that I had to thank for being SO fun and funny. She told me she posted those jokes for a friend who is losing her courageous battle with brain cancer. I was in awe of her before, but now....I gained a little bit of insight into what it meant to be walking as Christ walked and loving as He loved. It may sound like a simple thing....and it is, but what a perfect example of how to just love someone. I can't describe how my Spirit was touched by this little conversation.

Once I got home I had a few messages with words of encouragement and support...and as grateful as I was....I felt a little bit selfish. There are sooooo many people with so much more on their plates than me.

THEN, I remembered a comment that someone (who I don't even know) made a comment on another friends post. My friend posted "Pray as if everything depended on the Lord, but work as if everything depended on you". The comment said, "My trick was to remember I am a Child of God and entitled to everything he has." How did I gloss over that one so easily?

As I lay in bed thinking about that (and intermittently about how did I forget how bad yoga hurts after not doing it for a while), I realized how much truth there was in that. It's not like I ever doubted, I just didn't give the comment the credit it truly deserved.

We are here to learn to work, play, love, live, learn, laugh, cry, and experience joy, sorrow, anger and ultimately happiness. When Christ walked the earth, it wasn't peaceful, all of the time. He had joy when the children gathered around Him, He had sorrow for those who hurt Him. He had happiness at those who learned at His knee, and anger for those who blasphemed sacred temple grounds with dishonesty. Hmmmmmm.....

Kind of like me. I think I have had every single one of those emotions in the past week, month, year...etc. Then I thought about the Garden of Gethsemane...and realized He had every single one of my emotions, my pain, my sorrow and my suffering, simple because He loved me enough to do so, and He didn't want me to ever be alone. And if I make the right choices, and remember who is really in charge, I can achieve that perfect happiness that has seemed so elusive this week.

So it was a long night....in an incredibly good way. My trials are still there this morning, but this morning I have greater understanding. My priorities are back in place, and I don't think I'm the worst mom in the world (YAY!).

I'm doing everything I can, but this morning my "can" has a little bit more capacity. I'm so grateful for these gentle reminders of love, compassion and understanding.

I'm a little more humble than yesterday because of the amazing people who surround me and love me and teach me.

Lessons Learned
1-5....Please see above.

HUMBLE MUCH?

2011-11-09T13:04:00.001-07:00

No.

Obviously.

If I were truly humble, I wouldn't STILL be in learning mode.

As you can tell by my lack of posting, and the general bad mood of when I post, I'm still learning. There is a part of me that is seriously laughing on the inside because I thought after the incredible pace we had to keep in order to get moved, I totally thought everything would slow down once we got here. Guess what, I was wrong. Please don't tell my husband, he doesn't know I have the ability to be wrong.

Felix is still travelling a ton, which is a bummer, mostly because I miss him, but also because moving was supposed to prevent that. Sigh....this week without him has been particularly hard.....

But, alas....the adventure never ends. On his way to the airport this week, he was rear ended on the freeway. The Honda Accord he was driving....WOW! Held up AMAZINGLY! The Dodge Charger that hit him.....not so much. Guess we'll be taking that one off of our potential purchase list.

But ya gotta love my husband....when I asked him if he was coming home, you know since he was in a CAR ACCIDENT.....he was like, "Nah, I'm closer to the airport than I am to home, so I guess I'll go." I'm stubborn, but not that stubborn. I'm just sayin'.

Now I believe I previously mentioned that Caleb has been having a rough time with school. Yeah. He has been throwing up every morning before school. Yup, it's that bad for him. This morning....it was chocolate pudding....but that's another story. I got really, really, really freaked out, and had multiple talks with him before he admitted he was having a bully problem. It makes me so sad. He's 6.

So I called the district, who didn't call me back. Talked to teachers who said everything was fine. And finally, talked to the principle of the Lutheran private school. The school comes very highly recommended, and although it will be yet another adventure within our adventure....I am most hopeful about what they can offer. We meet with them on Friday.

I continue working through things. I am happy to report that my focus is no longer on me (that was really selfish of me....and I didn't like that), and now rests squarely on the shoulders of my babies.

Lessons Learned
1. I'm grateful for old friends and new, who have had the incredible patience to put up with my crazy.
2. I'm grateful for spiritual inspiration, because when I'm out of steam...I'm still prompted to go in the right direction.
3. Grateful that I am learning to be crafty, it keeps my hands busy so I'm not eating during my stress...(THANKS RACHAEL)!
4. Grateful that my kids are learning to be there for one another. Although they have taken being BEST FRENEMIES to a WHOLE, NEW LEVEL!
5. Grateful that I can ramble when I write, so I'm not carrying the burden alone.

DEFEND YER NUTS!

2011-10-30T16:41:00.001-06:00

Well....it's fall in Missouri. And as you can tell by the distance between my posts, keeping up on the blog has been a smidge of an impossibility. So thanks ANDREA for the reminder that I need to stay connected with everyone and not get lost in my new little world!

So, since my story telling abilities are currently on hiatus, I thought I would share some of our adventures in "short" form.

**We live in a rural community. There are lots and lots of critters running around ALL OF THE time. So it isn't like we never see squirrels. But with winter rapidly approaching, there have been more squirrels out a hunting and gathering than usual. So we are on our way home from school and one of our neighborhood squirrels are sitting at the base of one of our trees. As we drive up, Baylee yells, "Look! A squirrel!" Noah yells, "Defend yer nuts!" and Caleb yells, "Think about the children!". Yeah, I don't know either!

**I think I may have mentioned we live in a rural community. We have a "lake" (more like a pond) in our backyard and the neighborhood has geese. Geese are scary. The kids were at school and I was getting ready to go and get the kids, which meant it was time to take the dog out. So, without paying attention, I open the front door, the dogs goes racing out into about a dozen geese in the front yard. The geese honk at the sight of the fuzzy, black poodle.....which completely freaks out the dog who starts barking and running away....which completely freaks out the geese who start honking, flying and scattering....which completely freaks me out because I'm afraid they are going to eat my dog. So I start running and screaming and trying to save the dog from.....nothing, because the geese are all gone. Welcome to my world.

**We went to the zoo. They have a big donkey exhibit. They don't call them donkeys in St. Louis.

**Caleb has really struggled with being in the first grade. And I mean struggled. There has been a lot of weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth. We have attempted many different ways to get him motivated and hopefully get him over his highly emotional state of being. We have considered switching schools or even putting him in a private Lutheran school. But after a sit down with me and his dad, we finally got to the root of the problem, and switching school won't fix it. Why? Why is going to school so hard??? "Because we have to do school work." --cue crying.

So you can see....never a dull moment...and there have actually been a kabillion-jillion thing, funny, sad, exciting, etc., but being able to take a minute to keep track of them all, has not been as easy of a task as I thought.

So thanks friends, for not giving up on me! I'll try and do a better job of keeping YA'LL posted on our adventures!

Lessons Learned
1. Life is funny. It is.
2. I'm still a mess....but I'm starting to pull it all together.
3. I'm glad the adventure never ends...it would be boring.
4. Sometimes, you just have to sit back and enjoy the ride....
5. If I'm going to be on the adventure of a lifetime, I'm glad it's with my funny little peeps.

I Suppose an Explanation is in Order.....

2011-09-21T15:12:00.003-06:00

Given it's been such a rough few weeks, I suppose I should do a little bit better of a job explaining what is going on in my brain (or lack of activity therein).

To give a little background 411. After Caleb was born, I suffered from postpartum depression. I knew things were wrong...I didn't realize how wrong until one of my dearest friends called and said either you call the doctor, or I will call Social Services. So to sum things up, I understand depression. You could say that not only do I get it, but I 'get' it.

Since Caleb (and the adventurous 6 years it has been), I have had to really watch the depression. I've had panic attacks, anxiety attacks and bouts with mild depression. My poor husband is such a saint....

So in the build up to the 'BIG MOVE', I knew that I might have somewhat of a struggle when we got here. I totally thought I was prepared....and I did really well....for about a month.

I kept trying to talk myself out of what I was feeling....or not feeling may be a better description. I believe that depression is a different animal for everyone who deals with it. For me....for this experience....I have been numb....very, very numb.

I have just been going through the motions of each and every day. Every thing was getting done...at least as much as it usually did (by the way...did I mention I still suck at cleaning the house?), I could laugh with the kiddos....but I wasn't FEELING the laughter. For lack of a much, much, much better explanation.....I'm not me. And I'm really starting to miss me.

So enough of the background crap. For whatever reason....maybe it was Felix getting sick....maybe it was Caleb getting sick, maybe it was Savannah, Baylee and Noah getting sick....but I actually think it was me getting sick that was the straw that broke the camels back (just in case you are wondering....I'm the camel). Couple that with the plumbing problems, school problems....and life in general....well, not a good thing.

Now all of this crap being said. I don't love it here....not yet. This is a very small town, with not a heck of a lot to do, go or be. To simplify....I'm not here yet. My body is here. My brain is here (relatively speaking)....but my heart isn't here yet.

Fortunately, just in the nick of time, might I add, I was called into the Young Women's organization....and when I am with them, or doing things for them....I feel alive. And for that I am SO grateful. They are fun, and amazing and talented and gifted and funny and accepting and faithful and everything I want to be when I grow up.

I realize that this is probably an extremely lame excuse....but, it is what it is. I am who I am...and part of my survival (emotionally, physically, spiritually), is that I do know myself....probably a little too well. And let's just say...we all get along just fine.

So now that I have made through the dark and dreary time (which lasted longer than the usual 24 hour period I allow myself to wallow)....I'm not quite back to 100%....but I'm getting there. Because it is time to change my focus.

There are things I like about Farmington, and now I am going to start focusing on them, rather than the things that are not here (mainly friends and family).

I am not Pollyanna. I am not even a 'glass half full' kind of gal. What I am....is a tried and true person with enough experience to realize that with a little faith, a little hope and a little bit of acceptance of who is really in charge (not me)....things always (without fail)....do get better.

I could really, really learn something here....if I'm not too stubborn to stand in my way.

Lessons Learned
1. Acceptance is an important part of healing.
2. So is praying.
3. So is faith.
4. So is hope.
5. And most importantly, realizing that you aren't alone, that you are never, ever alone is perhaps the most important part. And thank goodness, in spite of the fact that I have a tendency to give up on myself....Heavenly Father never does. And it's really, really nice to know that someone will always have faith in me.

I CAN Be Happy...If I Want To

2011-08-28T18:58:00.004-06:00

So now that I have introduced us all, I should probably give a little somethingthat resembles a talk.

It has been a difficult week, for many reasons. Felix still has to travel and there were somehiccups related to school, and we are still trying to unpack. It was one of those weeks where everythingwas against me.

As I ventured through all of the crazy this week, my mind keptfocusing on happiness. Myhappiness. My kids happiness. My family’s happiness. And for whatever reason, I kept thinkingabout President Monson.

So I turned went to lds.org and searched for happiness andPresident Monson. I found an articlewritten by President Monson called Happiness-the Universal Quest. It summed up perfectly all of the thingsgoing through my mind.

Our family has been given some unique challenges. But everyone has challenges. Each challenge is as unique as eachindividual.

Challenges were not sent to us as curses from a cruel and unfeeling God. Quite theopposite…challenges were given to us as opportunities. While our challenges are different, our goalis the same.

Joseph Smith once said, “Happiness is the object and design ofour existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads toit; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keep allof the commandments of God.”

Being LDS is a verb. Itrequires action. So are faith, testimonyand happiness. I love that we are not apassive people. I also love agency, andthe opportunity agency gives us to choose. We can choose to be happy, in spite of our challenges and thedifficulties we face in life.

We can’t hide from trials. They are a part of life. We can’thide from temptation or things that are not virtuous, not lovely or not of goodreport.

What we can do is chooseright from wrong. We can choose goodover evil. Famed philosopher, Socrates,asked, “How is it that men know what is good, but do what is bad?” It’s a great question. But by choosing right over wrong, we becomespiritually strengthened and are able to overcome anything that is placed inour path.

As President Monson said, “Itmust not be expected that the road of life spreads itself in an unobstructedview before the person….he must anticipate coming upon forks and turnings inthe road…he cannot hope to reach his desired journey’s end if he thinksaimlessly about whether to go east or west.”

The path will have twists andturns, but focusing on the end goal, will help us make it through the dark anddifficult times. Even Apostle Paulcounseled in 1 Corinthians 9:24, “So run, that ye may obtain.”

A perfect is example is a story aboutJoe.

Joe had been asked to get up at 6:00 in the morning and drivea crippled child 50 miles to the hospital. He didn’t want to do it, but hedidn’t know how to say no.

A woman carried the child out to the car and set him next tothe driver’s seat, mumbling thanks through her tears. Joe said everything wouldbe all right and drove off quickly.

After a mile or so, the child inquired shyly, “You’re God,aren’t you?”

“I’m afraid not, little fellow,” replied Joe.

“I thought you must be God,” said the child. “I heard Motherpraying next to my bed and asking God to help me get to the hospital so I couldget well and play with the other boys. Do you work for God?”

“Sometimes, I guess,” said Joe, “but not regularly. I thinkI’m going to work for him a lot more from now on.”

We each have the ability and opportunity to work. While the trials of this life are great, theblessings are greater. 2 Nephi 2:3 says,

“Wherefore, thy soul shall be blessed…thy days shall be spent inthe service of thy God. Wherefore, I know that thou art redeemed, because ofthe righteousness of thy Redeemer…”

I have a saying up where I can see it every day, it reads,

Life is anopportunity…benefit from it.

Life is agame…play it.

Life is adream…realize it.

Life is achallenge…meet it.

Life is aduty…complete it.

Life isbeauty…admire it.

Life is apromise…fulfill it.

Life issorrow…overcome it.

Life is asong…sing it.

Life is astruggle…accept it.

Life is a tragedy…confrontit.

Life isluck…wish it.

Life is an adventure…dareit.

Life islife…live it.

Again from 2Nephi 2 “…men are that they might have joy.”

I challenge you each. Beactive. Choose happiness. Have joy.

Lessons Learned
1. Sometimes the prophets really are speaking directly to you.
2. Heavenly Father REALLY does me better than I do.
3. I'm my own worst enemy (I learn this one A LOT!)
4. My trials are light if I let Heavenly Father share the burden.
5. I don't have to MAKE myself miserable.

BEATDOWN BUS

2011-08-27T18:09:00.001-06:00

Wednesday. It really just kind of sucked all the way around. I can't even be nice about it yet, and it has been days.

Wednesday started out kind of rough. I had to hurry and get kids out of the door because Baylee had her first appointment with her new rheumatologist at the childrens hospital in Saint Louis. And since it is about an hour and a half away, and we had to find the office...we had to leave kind of early.

So we went, we got there...still had to drive through some scary parts of town, but this trip I realized we get to drive past Anheuser Busch's beer college. Yes, boys and girls, the beer college. Don't be jealous.

We found it and to keep this much shorter than it otherwise would be....here is the summary.

--We were there for two hours, meeting with various people in the office.
--They did an amazing history and workup.
--Her left ankle is 'thickening', which means the muscles are starting to, well, thicken. And more or less stop acting like muscles...which means her ankle has not so much time left. She is losing flexibility, which will eventually cost her mobility.
--She gets her first treatment on September 1st. But here it is in the oncology clinic. So we get to hang out with all of the sweet babies getting actual chemo. We are both nervous about it, but are looking forward to making the best of a difficult situation.
--The new doctor says that many of Baylee's issues don't add up and that he plans on spending time on her file to see if we can't get to the bottom of things! YAY!

So we made the drive home. Ate in the car...yuck, I hate eating while driving. And I got Baylee to school before lunch was over and she at least got part of the day in.

I got home, got work done, cleaned the house and got ready for them to come home. But no amount of preparing would have been enough.

The kids came in screaming...and crying...and Caleb wasn't talking. So like the previous section--here is the summary.

--Caleb and his seatmate on the bus, starting playing "Scrub Nubs"...think "Noogies".
--Out of the blue, his seatmate said, "Secret attack!." Put him in a head lock and started hitting his head against the bus window. The bus was in motion, so the driver couldn't do anything.
--Sixth graders moved over and started encouraging the fight.
--Caleb got a few good face hits in.
--Savannah got out of her seat and broke up the fight. She got in trouble for getting out of her seat.
--Shortly after that they were home.

So....they were all upset and didn't want to ride the bus anymore. Yeah? Me too!!!

I called the district transportation director, who had already heard about it and she was awesome...but I pulled the kids off of the bus anyway.

I managed to not cry until I went to bed that night. The kids were already upset enough as it was.

Lessons Learned
1. Like any mother, I can't be every where, every moment. It still doesn't take the hurt of not being able to protect my babies away.
2. Grateful my kids stood up for each other.
3. That I am hoping more than I thought I was that the reason I am here will be made clear.
4. As much as I am against my kids hitting....so grateful Caleb did.
5. Finding Bully Beatdown on MTV is not helping my anger issues right now.

Just Take My Money....PLEASE?????

2011-08-23T13:59:00.000-06:00

So we've been here for three weeks, I figured I could try and get the cars registered and get my license. I kind of have to get the Durango registered because the tags expire this month.

I had called a friend from the ward to find out where....thank goodness it was in town so I didn't have to drive FOREVER to get there.

I grabbed all of our car stuff and headed down to the office. I am such a newbie in town, I have to use the GPS to even get to the other side of town. But it is a big stretch from one side to the other, I'm just sayin'.

I got to the office, pulled out all of original loan documents, several years of registration and found out none of it mattered.

I had to get loan information, past and present (because we refinanced), special tax waivers, blah, blah, blah. I also have to have an I.D.O.D. What's that? VIN check and Odometer reading. Seriously?

So I start running around town, getting everything I needed (including an hour at the state inspection station) and head home for the other paperwork. I also have to call our previous lienholder.

For whatever reason, even though I had all of the information, I wasn't in the system. I finally get through to a real person, tell them what I need just to have them tell me they can't give it to me.

So I have to call the bank back and they have to call and get the information. It will be here in 48-72 hours. Phew...I have a new best friend at the bank.

Then I find out I need to have a birth certificate to get my drivers license. Since when? Do you have any idea how long it has been since I've had to even get a new license? And back when I moved to Utah from California, they didn't require birth certificates.

So I download the paperwork for San Bernardino (after finding out my mom never had my birth certificate because I'm so old, it was never required FOR ANYTHING), fill it all out and bother my best friend at the bank AGAIN!

She notarizes my paperwork, and off to the post office I go. Not very encouraging to see all of the mail bins in the back of the building....I hope my papers make it.

So then I remember I have to fill prescriptions because we finally got our new insurance cards! YAY.

Until I went to transfer all of our prescriptions (and yes, there are a ton) and of everything I had to get...guess what wasn't covered....my Ambien.

That will just be bad for everyone. I'm just sayin'.

Lessons Learned
1. I am an even bigger fan of Not Moving after today.
2. I don't want to play anymore.
3. Paperwork sucks.
4. Have you met me on no sleep....it's not pretty....and the events of the day, plus no Ambien is just an accident waiting to happen.
5. Yuck, yuck, yuck.

I WON!!! I WON!!!

2011-08-21T13:01:00.001-06:00

Ahhhhh......victory is SUH-WEET!

So the Operations Manager for T-Mobile called me....although it wasn't in the promised 24 hour time period. They called back in 27 hours.

He was reasonable. Who knew T-Mobile had reasonable people that worked for them?

So he started on the usual...
...when did you have trouble?
...what about a tower in your home?
...what about an engineering request.

I had already done all of that. I explained that to him. I told him I would split the cost 50/50. I said I just wanted to be done, but it was a matter of principle at this point.

He said hang on until I can look at the report from June. When he came back he said he had to clarify what the report said.

Here's the summary:

We checked things out. We know there is a problem. We already spent our budget and can't fix the problem. So we are letting you out of your contract at no cost to you.

Oh.

WOWEEEE!!!!

I actually did it.

Lessons Learned
1. I can do some things.
2. I do have a brain...and I didn't even have to see the wizard.
3. I wonder if my children will be able to admit I was right.
4. YAY!
5. SUPER YAY!

Ummmmm.....T-Mobile says WHAT?

2011-08-19T15:02:00.002-06:00

So, even though I have tons of funny stories to tell...they are just going to have to wait. I have a much more pressing issue. Anyone familiar with my Sears saga, you know what's coming. Anyone who missed that part of fun in my life...please go HERE for details.

So, ever since I found out we were moving, I have kind of been freaking out about cell phone coverage. I know how bad Felix's reception was, and he was with Verizon.

So I checked out T-Mobiles website....now this was before we were moving and we were trying to decide what city to live in....and Piedmont (where Felix is working) has NO coverage by anyone but AT&T. Okay, we weren't living there. We had narrowed down our search to the Farmington area....T-Mobile had coverage. And it looked like it was in the GOOD range. Awesome. We were going to be okay.

But I called T-Mobile anyway. I talked to a Customer Service Representative who confirmed that I would have GOOD coverage within the city limits and MODERATE on the highways. Which meant that I could get sometimes spotty coverage "here and there".

I didn't give it another thought....until I took my first trip out in June. I lost signal outside of St. Louis and didn't have it for at least half of the ride to Farmington (which is a full hour and a half). Inside the city I got coverage....If I stayed in our hotel room and didn't go anywhere. Just driving through the city limits I would lose signal and who knows when I would get it back.

So I called T-Mobile. We put in a service order, so that T-Mobile could decide whether or not things were going to improve for me.

I didn't call back for the 'results'...you had to wait 72 hours until much later in the week. And when I finally did, they had no plans to improve things in the area...but that I would be fine. I talked to them then about cancelling...but funny me, I wouldn't pay $800 to cancel our 4 lines. However, Grandma's was only supposed to be $100 (another long story), and when I mentioned she had passed away, they waived it. But I kept the phone for a while (a playtoy for Baylee). We ended up cancelling it in July. I still had another $600 to worry about. Well, I think that is going to have to wait until after the move.

I believe I started calling T-Mobile within a couple of days of getting here. We were sitting in our empty house waiting for servicemen (who couldn't do their jobs) and our stuff. I would literally be sitting still, holding my phone or looking at it as it sat on the floor and I would lose signal...HOW DOES THAT WORK?

So I called, and I complained and they said there was nothing they could do. I said okay and decided to call another day. And I did. And I complained, and I explained that I had 2 children with chronic health issues and how dangerous it was for me to be without cell phone coverage. The solution (WAIT FOR IT): how about we put a free booster in your home and we can guarantee coverage inside of your home. My response: I'm kinda funny, but I have a MOBILE phone in order to be MOBILE. How exactly will that help me when I'm MOBILE?

Let's just say that conversation ended with not a lot getting done. And I believe I called 2 more times without anything getting accomplished.

I think it was Tuesday of the following week, and I still did not have anywhere NEAR reliable coverage when I walked into the AT&T store (one of many here in town) and got new phones for all of us. I'm sorry, I'm not risking my babies. Our sales person said that she used to work for T-Mobile, gave me a few key phrases and told me I could get out of our contract easy peasy. Awesome.

So that Saturday, Felix and I decided to use the magic words and get out of the T-Mobile contract. Sadly, the magic words didn't work. Our call ended up getting escalated, we got told we had to pay up if we cancelled and an address for the customer service department that might decide to do something. We even offered to pay half.

It is now the Friday after that. I haven't written the letter or called T-Mobile because I was so mad from our last phone call that I needed a whole week to calm down. But this morning, I decided TODAY WAS THE DAY! And I had to go to WalMart and I knew I got pretty good reception there.

The call started before I got into the store and it was the usual...First: It's your fault for moving. Second: Well if you cancelled when you found out the coverage wasn't the same, it would have been $600, so what is the big deal now. Third: We can give you guaranteed coverage inside of your home....yada, yada, yada....

After I explained I wasn't an attorney, but I understood the basics of contract law...i.e. Each party in the contract received consideration for their participation....T-Mobile was getting my money, I was supposed to be getting service. When one party did not receive their consideration, it could be considered breach of contract. So instead of this getting ugly, let's do something amicable and split the cancellation fees 50/50.

Then there was the whole conversation about Terms and Conditions....blah, blah, blah. I understand Terms and Conditions, I know what I signed up for, I also know that it was not divulged that my coverage would be LESS THAN GOOD, LESS THAN MODERATE, and practically NON-EXISTENT. Which is about when I started losing my connection...in the middle of WAL-MART. At this point, I asked for the next rung in the ladder....meaning, please send me to the escalation team.

And then T-Mobile was gone. A supervisor called me back in about 5 minutes. I still think it's funny that I lost T-Mobile in the middle of complaining about their service and coverage. Am I the only one that sees the irony in that?

Anyways....I went through the ENTIRE same conversation with the supervisor. I finally told her that I am not stupid and I understood how this worked, it was just a matter of me calling back, T-Mobile getting sick of me or by luck of the draw, getting someone who was flexible.

THEN THE BOMBSHELL-----DUM, DUM, DUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.....

She told me that if it were earlier in the year, she would totally work with me. HOWEVER---around the first of the year, all of the cellular carriers made an agreement that NONE OF THEM would discount or offer flexibility or waive any cancellation fees. WHAT THE?????????

Quick...let's get to the end. Blah, blah, blah....why don't you get a PAY AS YOU go cell phone on another carrier so you can have a phone for emergencies when your T-MOBILE doesn't work. Yes, they really said that too. I finally told her to please move me up to the next rung on the ladder (which she told me it didn't matter how high up the ladder I went, because of the aforementioned agreement), no one was going to waive or discount the cancellation fees.

So I am supposed to have a call back in the next 24 hours from the next rung up on the ladder.

In the meantime, I have time on my hands while I am waiting for the call. And what do I do when I have free time (that I don't really have) and I'm really, really mad? Well, I research of course. Somewhere in that not completely stupid part of my brain, I was having stirrings of recollection from my business law and advanced accounting classes.

Now....I shall share what I have found.

FIRST: please refer to http://www.law.cornell.edu/ucc/search/display.html?terms=contract&url=/ucc/2/article2.htm#s2-106 This would be Article 2 of the Uniform Commercial Code (UCC) which discusses Contracts, contract definitions, breach and obligations of contract parties.

SECOND: please refer to TITLE 7 > CHAPTER 9 > SUBCHAPTER II > Part A > § 192
(§ 192. Unlawful practices enumerated) of the UCC. Pay close attention to superscript (F) about the manipulation of the market to control prices....SUMMARY: It's a NO-NO!!!!

THIRD: please refer to TITLE 12 > CHAPTER 6 > SUBCHAPTER II > § 617

§ 617. Engaging in commerce or trade in commodities; price fixing; forfeiture of charter; acts forbidden to directors, officers, agents, or employees

This would be the part of the UCC that talks about Price fixing (or collusion...for all of you smart people). Guess what...it's a NO-NO too!

Sooooo, when 'Next ladder on the rung guy' call me....I think I may have to discuss these very fascinating parts of the Uniform Commercial Code with him or her. Then I think I should mention, that a certain merger between AT&T and T-Mobile is currently under review with the Securities and Exchange Commission because they are concerned about the effect the merger will have on the market...Specifically-a monopoly. I think the SEC might wanna hear about current business practices, among ALL cellular carriers, but mostly between AT&T and T-Mobile, that may already be trying to manipulate the market in their favor, therefore setting up a monopoly, or at the very least an ogliopoly (do you have any idea how long I have wanted to use that word in a sentence?).

BUT, before I forget...one of the most important things I discovered. And that would be:
FOURTH: US (202) 942-8088...the number for the SEC. Cuz guess what? Dex knows DC too!

So.......I'll keep ya posted. And if you know anyone who hates these guys as much as I do right now....let me know.

Lessons Learned

1. I might be a little wordy....but not stupid.

2. Do you think I have a case for getting the rate at a minimum REDUCED....?

3. Who thinks that AT&T and T-Mobile should be stopped...ME, ME, ME!

4. I don't think I'm being unfair....but if I am...tell me, I can take it.

I Am a WICKED SuperMom!!!

2011-06-30T15:40:00.000-06:00

So, as previously mentioned, we have been making weekly trips to Lagoon. I had to negotiate, bargain, beg and plead with the kidlets to not make me go on Wicked. I lost. It was apparently make the mommy face her fears day because they were cruel....they were very, very cruel.

I wanted to go on Wicked right away so I couldn't chicken out....but as usual, it took us a while to get going. We finally made it to the ride and guess what....Caleb was tall enough to go. Oh hurl!

Have you ever seen a booster seat made for roller coasters? Yeah, that is totally on every mothers list of 'WORST NIGHTMARES'. Savannah, Sara, Kyle, Noah and Caleb accompanied me to my journey of death. As we were standing in line I told the kids, "Okay, here's the deal....if I cry, throw up, wet my pants or die....NO ONE EVER FINDS OUT." They agreed.

We got on....why was everyone else so excited? This is the roller coaster of doom.....especially since I have developed a horrible fear of heights. If you can't remember why I am afraid of heights, you can look here. http://heffalumpsnwoozles.blogspot.com/2009/08/12-tank-of-gas-and-intestinal-fortitude.html

So we get in, we get buckled and we go into the tunnel. Now, I don't know why I thought it started slow, it's a polarized roller coaster, so it has to go fast. It took off and my gut reaction was to close my eyes. They never opened. In hindsight, part of the problem is that I couldn't watch Caleb and he was sitting right next to me.

When it was over, everyone else was giggling. I was checking myself for vomit and pee. Nope....all good, I made it.

So of course, because my eyes were closed they are making me go again next week (with my eyes open). Once we got out of the ride, I realized I hurt from head to toe. I had pushed myself back into my seat and was holding on to Caleb's harness so tightly (because I was going to save him if he fell out), that all of my muscles were taut and IT HURT.

So we cooled off with a little Colossus (double loops....why am I totally fine with that? Because it doesn't pause at the top....), and headed back for a snack.

A while later we went across the part on the Sky Ride....yeah, even that is terrifying. Especially when it stops for those who don't know how to get on/off and you are at the peak of the ride and the freakin' wind starts blowing....it was awful! I did that 3 times. I'm so done with the Sky Ride....imagining how many bones would break if the cable happened to snap at various points on the ride, just takes way too much out of me.

And finally....the Ferris Wheel. Why is it I always get stuck at the top? Why? Why? Why?

Lessons Learned
1. I'm done facing my fears. I know what they look like now....I don't need to see them again.
2. I really would do anything for my kids.
3. I don't know how I am going to get through Wicked with my eyes open (Caleb went a second time with Savannah and Sara and that was even worse to watch from the ground).
4. As the mommy, I should be able to set limits, right?
5. It's all good...I didn't cry, wet my pants, vomit or pass out...no matter what you've heard!

We're Gonna Die.

2011-06-27T21:12:00.001-06:00

Ahhhhhhhhh......what a wacky adventure life has been lately.

After the paint, poop and pool extravaganza, it hasn't seemed to really slow down all that much. I seem to be trapped in the perpetual cycle of the 'fastest-longest' portion of my life. I know that sounds really bizarre, but I truly understood what that meant in the three days leading up to Grandma's death. If you haven't experienced it yet....you will.

My mom and my uncle took some serious time and cleaned out all of Grandma's stuff. I thought it would help...sadly, it just made me miss her all the more....because now, even more of her is gone.

So.... as we have been traversing this SUPER exciting path to moving (have I mentioned what an extraordinary home-body I am?), I have been working like a mad woman. Why? Because I am renting out my house and my OCD won't let me rent it unless I have done EVERY SINGLE project I have ever thought about doing....EVER! Sigh.

So, I have had a basin sink installed in the laundry....everything that ever considered leaking fixed, the air conditioning fixed and conditioned...etc. I know....why did I wait to do all of these project? Because I thought someday or getaroundtoit would never get here.

I have painted the master bedroom, bathroom, every single door in the house (all 28 of them), the laundry room, Savannah's room, Savannah's bathroom and today I took down all of the wall hangings so that I could patch all of the holes and then do touch up painting in EVERY SINGLE ROOM. Have I mentioned that I'm pretty sure I have a touch of OCD? And I haven't even ordered the carpet for the room that is too disgusting to rent as is....

In the past week, I found out the New York office forgot to approve our move, discovered Delta needs 30 days to guarantee our pets are on our plane, and that the pets have to be dropped off at 6:30 in the morning. Oh, but let's not forget the health certificates that are going to cost A FREAKIN' FORTUNE!

And just for kicks, the relocation company has tried to convince Felix that I should drive across the country (by myself) with four kids, four pets in the middle of summer. My dear, sweet husband told them that he wanted to stay married to me so that is not an option (bless his soul).....

In my spare moments, I have flown to Missouri and signed papers on our new house. I have found renters (WHO I ADORE) to take care of my house and in between home improvement projects, I have sat in my closet, rolled into the fetal position (or rocked) all while sucking my thumb.

I have really wanted to blog....but I can't type when my thumb is in my mouth......

Because I am still shooting for mother of the year, I promised my kids the best summer ever....which includes weekly trips to Lagoon. My OCD gets involved on occasion and I sit in front of the computer rearranging 'projects' so I can make up for lost time spent on roller coasters.... Tomorrow, my children are forcing me to go on Wicked. We're gonna die.

BUT, last week, when the boys went to the Father/Son camp out, I decided I needed a night off. So girls' night it was. I let them pick the restaurant, but I picked the movie.

We mostly enjoyed Olive Garden....after an argument about whether or not we could have dessert when none of us could finish dinner and then STILL get treats at the movie....NOT! I was paying, so let's paraphrase with I DON'T THINK SO.

After dinner it was off to the movies...Yeah, I picked Super 8. RIGHT ON! Number one...I love disaster movies! Number 2...I heard it was Goonies on steroids! Number 3...if I could pay to scare the crap out of my kids and make them still need me even for a moment, then it was totally WORTH IT! Needless to say, I LOVED IT...and the soundtrack (which was amazing) is getting released tomorrow! WOOHOO.

On our way home, stuck in the maze formerly known as Thanksgiving Point, we (I) decided the freeway was the best route. Until I turned and realized I was behind a semi getting on the on-ramp at 25 miles per hour. I just followed (slowly) and without even thinking said, "We're gonna die." Savannah looked at me and said, "WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" as she frantically looked around the car for something careening at us at break neck speeds....then she realized I had just lost my mind.

So Saturday rolled around and Felix and I were immensely blessed to attend the sealing of two of our favorite people in the whole, wide world at the Mt. Timp Temple. I had told Felix the story about the on-ramp on our drive to the temple so it was still fresh in my mind as we sat in the sealing room. I looked around (it probably appeared that I was staring) and realized how much I loved all of the people in the room (even the ones I didn't know...but my heart was bursting with joy at being there, so I really do love them too!) and realized that when 'We're gonna die' actually happened, I was still going to be surrounded my people I really love (even if they did have to take a trip DOWN to see me on occasion!).

After all of the CRAZY in my life, it was a perfect moment to celebrate the blessing of now....and forever!

LESSONS LEARNED

1. Don't sweat the small stuff....it's all small stuff. (Hmmmmm.....seems to be a recurring theme in my life)

2. Perspective...it's all a matter of perspective. In the eternal scheme of things, as long as I have my family and loved ones, that is all that matters.

3. It's going to be extremely difficult to leave here. But Heavenly Father never closes a door without opening a window....and the window has a beautiful view!

4. I need to accept things I cannot change, instead, I need to change how I view the things I cannot change.

5. It's time to stop wallowing and start showing a little gratitude....where much is given, much is required and a simple thank you is a good first step.

Paint, Poop and Pool

2011-06-06T09:22:00.000-06:00

I believe we have already discovered that no day of the week is free from my shenanigans. There is always something going on and there is usually a fifty, fifty chance that it is going to be filled with chaos!

And I now have proof, that Friday is not exempt from the policy.

With our impending move, I have had to do a lot of work around the house. You know I am totally cool living in squalor, but if I am going to rent out my house I have to have everything just right or I will feel really, really bad.

My most recent project has been the laundry room. I have had a utility sink installed, been working on some texturizing, repainting the baseboards to get rid of the very outdated blue. So I had to do another coat and I left the can of paint on the washing machine. Now, the lid was on, but not hammered on. So this is what I woke up to on Friday morning:

Yes, that would be an entire gallon of paint on the floor. Sorry the picture is blurry, my tears may have had something to do with that. But alas, I decided to let it dry and see if we could peel it up. That was the goal anyway.

So we were also lucky to have my cousin and her kids with us for the week. I'm glad they were there, but it also marked the beginning of taking down grandma's rooms. It was very bittersweet.

I walked to Grandma's room with my tear-stained cheeks to grab some papers or something.....whew? What was that smell? Oh man....someone left a serious stinker. I flush, the nastiness rose to meet me. SERIOUSLY?

I grab the plunger and get to stepping. Nothing, absolutely nothing. Great. I have errands and all sorts of chaos going on that morning. In between trips to the store and everywhere else, I come home and plunge. Nothing. Felix tried. Jill tried. Nada.

I get the pipe snake (and a mask) and get to work. It won't budge. I had flashbacks of flaming toilets (for reference: http://heffalumpsnwoozles.blogspot.com/2007_11_01_archive.html) and became despondent. I couldn't go through that again! So I called a plumber, but he couldn't make it until 5. Hey, it's Friday and if he's willing, that works for me.

In the meantime we headed to the pool. We all definitely needed some relaxation. I got out to take Caleb to the bathroom and then decided to stay out for a few minutes. Next thing I know, Savannah power walks up to me, complains about the lifeguard that wouldn't let her run and tells me Baylee has a bloody nose and she is bleeding 'ALL OVER THE BATHROOM'. I power walk to the bathroom and confirm what she said. Baylee's nose is bleeding so severely the toilet paper rolls are have soaked.

I left her to get first aid help. They sent first aid in the form of 1 (one) (uno) (un) gauze bandage. I said she is bleeding ALL OVER THE PLACE. They said that it would work. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

When we got back to the bathroom, the first aid tech said, "Wow she's a bleeder." Yeah, I told you. She got set up with her magical, single gauze pad and went and got more supplies.

We managed to get it slowed down, but after a half an hour, she was still bleeding and I said we would finish up at home. So we had to fill out an incident report....YAY....those are always fun. Which is right about when Baylee was getting to the passing out point. We made it to the car and home and discover the bruise on her face from where she was pushed/fell and smacked her nose.

So after a long while more, we got her to stop bleeding, showered and fed....although each bite was a smidge painful for her.

All the while, the plumber was working on the toilet of doom. He is the best plumbing in the world. Not only can he handle that manner of funkification (new word....working towards dictionary fame, please start using freely), but after he cleared the toilet, he took it apart to make sure everything was good. (P.S. Carl Larsen is the greatest....he has done wonders in helping me get the house ready for moving!)

But it's all fixed now, and I go in on occasion just to flush.

At the end of it all, Felix, Jill and I went to Gloria's and yes, I pigged out. I even got dessert and ATE IT ALL....so there.

Lessons Learned
1. Stop blaming Monday, it can happen any day of the week.
2. Expecting the unexpected doesn't quite seem to cut it in my world....I've got to come up with a new phrase that describes my special kind of wacky.
3. Life goes on, even with paint, funkification and bloody pools.
4. I was really glad when Saturday hit.
5. It's Monday today.....so what.....anything can happen, and it usually does.

I WOULD RATHER......

2011-05-03T12:50:00.001-06:00

You know....I am obviously stressed when I can get soooo worked up over something as benign as an Oil of Olay commercial, and a Cover Girl commercial, and a L'Oreal commercial....etc.....

I was watching TV last night, since I couldn't sleep (which is normal when Felix is travelling)....now, I am watching something on like Tru TV and every single commercial during the break was a beauty commercial. And I got ticked off....

As someone who has always struggled with herself, never thin, never pretty, never anything like everybody else, I have always had a particular distaste for some model on TV telling you why she's prettier than you. BUT, my self esteem is not the point of this.

I noticed last night, that all the ads were geared toward being younger looking...erasing time, erasing wrinkles...you know, typical finding the fountain of youth stuff.

So here is what went through my mind last night as I was seething over nothing:

I would rather have loved and lost, loved and won, had pain so I could be grateful when it wasn't there.

I would rather have experienced agony and defeat, so winning would taste sweeter.

I would rather make mistakes and have the opportunity to learn, than sit and watch and do nothing.

I would rather laugh and make laugh lines, cry and create lines of sorrow, than feel nothing at all.

I would rather have seen, heard, done, cried, laughed, tried, fail, moved forward, fallen backward, gotten up and brushed myself off than have not lived.

I would rather have my experiences evident, than try to hide, diminish, mask, camoflauge the bits and pieces of the world that made me who I am.

I would rather have it show that I have lived, laughed and loved, instead of appearing to have experienced nothing.

I would rather make it to the "Fountain of Experience" than the "Fountain of Youth".

Lessons Learned
1. I really hope that I am moving out of my funk if I am making such ado about nothing.
2. I really don't want to be what you see on TV, reality is so much better.
3. I wonder how much airbrushing it takes on TV to look that flawless.
4. I am so totally flawed....why hide it?
5. I am who I am.

So I'm Not Job.....What Now?????

2011-04-21T12:43:00.000-06:00

As I have traversed this wacky little path that has become my life, I have tried to live by the mantra, "I'm trying to be Job and NOT Jonah."

For those of you who don't know who these fine gentlemen are, Job is one of my heroes. He so awesome, Satan had to get permission from God before smiting him. Satan gave him every plague imaginable (including boils he had to lance, scrape and burn himself) and yet, after each trial, he gave thanks to God that he was still here. Jonah on the other hand, was given a mission from God, and instead of doing what he was told the first time, he went the opposite direction, had to get scooped up by a whale and turned in the proper direction. He DID do what he was told...but it took a little more prodding to get him there.

Well....I think it has gotten pretty obvious that I am SO not Job. I honestly and truly hit the 'proverbial' wall last week. I don't think I can take much more.

So, without giving too much information, I need to figure out what to do about it. And yes, suggestions are welcome.

So far here is the plan of action:

1. Stop shutting myself in my little bubble. My bubble is a little bit bigger than a personal space bubble. It pretty much encompasses my house, but I still cringe when people try to pop it and come in. I am working on an open door policy, which is absolutely frightening for me because it just makes me think about what I am going to be missing after we move.

2. Say thank you more. To Heavenly Father, to my friends to my children. That really is a more Job-ish thing to do, and it something I think I have been lacking in lately. It's hard to be grateful when you aren't getting what you want....but, then again life isn't about what you want...it's really about what you NEED!

3. Stop stuffing my face. Or, at the very least, if I am going to stuff my face try and throw a few more vegetables in the mix. My best friend told me that even she could tell I was SO done, there was no point sticking a fork in me. I told her at this point, I would even eat the fork if anyone came near me with it. To simplify, eating forks is bad (plastic or metal)....

4. Take something off of my plate. I don't know what yet. But something has to go. I even tried to quit one of my jobs yesterday, but they said I could work at home just as easily from Missouri, so they said I couldn't quit. Have I told you how much I love Alpine Innovations lately? But this was an awesome jump start for #2 because I think I said thank you about a kabillion times. But back to number 4. I may have to actually start accepting help, even if it does tarnish my super tough 'Wonder Woman' exterior....my Jell-O interior will be better off for it.

5. Breathe. Yeah, you hear people say all of the time, I forgot to breathe. Well, I need to apologize for all of the times I made fun of people for saying that, because I really did forget to breathe the other day. It was a little scary, and then I had to question why I wasn't one of those people that forgets to eat, because I could really roll with that right about now.

One thing at a time right now. God is in the details, because I'm certainly not. He can handle things, even my tears, lame jokes and ranting. He is much more appreciative of my smiling and laughter, but thank goodness He accepts my total package.

So even though I am NOT Job, and I'm probably a little bit more Jonah, today I am going to be grateful that Heavenly Father loves me for me....I don't have to be anyone else.

Lessons Learned
1. I tend to wind myself up without preparing a way to wind down....that falls in the breathing part....if I breathe, it will all be okay.
2. As terrified as I am by life right now, it's all going to be okay. I was promised it would be.
3. It's kind of sad my kids are rolling with things so much better than I am....but thank goodness they can be strong for me when I need them to. I think it will be time for their nervous breakdowns next week.
4. As much as I want to believe chocolate cures everything, sadly, it really doesn't. If you don't believe me, ask my thighs.
5. I have yet to decide if I want the next three months to go fast or slow......I guess it isn't my decision to make.

I'M GONNA BE SHINY! I'M GONNA BE SHINY!

2011-04-04T11:43:00.001-06:00

You know how things never quite work out the way they expect....that seems to happen to me A LOT!

The day after Grandma died, Felix got a phone call. "Hey Felix, we think you would be perfect to run the new divisions in Ohio, Wisconsin and Missouri." Of course we asked them to wait a week so that we could get through the funeral. And we did.

Felix started talking to the people involved the next week. Then my dad went in for knee replacement surgery the Wednesday after Grandma was buried. By that Friday, his blood sugar went COMPLETELY out of control and started causing other problems with his major internal organs. That was exciting. He was only supposed to be in the hospital 3 days. Because of all of the complications he was having, he was unable to do the therapy that is SO necessary after joint replacement.

Felix and I went and spent time with him that Friday, and saw how bad things were. To keep an extremely LONG story short, after his blood sugar improved and his kidneys started functioning properly, he developed blood clots in his lungs, then one in his leg....after several weeks, he was able to get into the rehabilitation facility to get his body where it needed to be. He went back to the hospital to get his staples removed, nearly collapsed and was admitted to the ICU. After a night or two there, he went to a regular room where he continued to battle some of his physical demons. After a few more days, he was able to go back to rehab. And after six and a half LONG weeks, he is finally home.

In the meantime........we have found out that Savannah and Baylee both have growth plate related injuries because their growth plates are NOT closing......and because of Baylee's arthritis and some related strength and pain issues, both are starting physical therapy. Meanwhile, Noah had chipped his elbow and Felix damaged the tendon in one of his feet. Oy, and let's not forget that Baylee has new inflammation in her eyes, and absolutely CANNOT back off of her infusion therapy and has some new meds to hopefully combat the possibility of long term damage.

Backing away from the medical drama that never seems to end, I've been slowly working through Grandma's things. Taking her food to the food bank was one of the most difficult, yet rewarding things I have EVER done! Having sorted her clothes yesterday, I realize how much I am ALWAYS going to miss Grandma.

So back to the job drama. Felix began travelling to do interviews. One interviewer would say we didn't have to relocate, while another said there was ABSOLUTELY no choice. It went back and forth and back and forth.

Finally they made an offer, we countered, they countered, we said no. Then they came back and said, absolutely you can have what you want. So....it would seem we will be moving to Missouri at the end of July, beginning of August.

So why air all of this dirty laundry??? Mostly because, it has been an emotional journey....I am never going to feel the same about February and March....and maybe the beginning of April. But in spite of ALL of the crazy, I've managed to walk away with a new perspective.

One of my very favorite parables is the story of the Refiner's Fire. The vivid picture of being placed directly in the fire and then carefully molded, again and again, until you are perfect and shiny. In fact you are so perfect, the Savior's image can be seen in you.

Well, that is where I am right now, I keep getting thrown into the fire. Sometimes I get hit with the realization of just how stubborn I am. I realize that my stubborness is going to be reflected in how many times I go into the fire, how long I stay in the fire and how long it is going to take before I am polished like I need to be.

I am so grateful to have a loving and PATIENT Heavenly Father that will take the time to mold me in His image. I am so grateful that I can completely trust in Him, because with all of the chaos in my life....I don't completely trust myself.

Since I am the mayor of crazy town, and figure that no matter where I live I am always going to be in crazy town.....I just have to keep reminding myself of exactly HOW shiny I am going to be....and that is REALLY, REALLY shiny!!!!

Lessons Learned
1. Whoa.....I know, right?
2. There is always calm within the storm.....not just before and after.
3. I'm glad to know that I am strong enough to listen and OBEY....although I didn't say that I wouldn't mope and complain a bit.
4. Change is good....right?
5. So much to do, so little time.

OH HAIL!

2011-03-29T14:12:00.001-06:00

I walked down the stairs, arms loaded with this and that....yeah,we have a lot of this and that around these here parts. I walked through the playroom and took my first step into the theater room, when out of nowhere....

AHHHHH CHOOOOOOOOO!

Caleb and Caden were playing Little Big Planet 2 and I scared the dickens out of them. They both jumped, spun around and screamed.

I was laughing, but I apologized for scaring them. Caden said, "You scared me!" Caleb said, "You scared the hell out of me!"

I said, "What did you say?"

He said, "You scared the hell out of me!"

I said, "Please don't say that word, it isn't nice."

He said, "But mom....."

I said, "Caleb, I said don't say that word!"

He said, "But mom....."

I said, "CALEB!"

He said, "I just don't know why I can't talk about the little ice balls that fall out of the sky!"

Lessons Learned

I don't think I can come up with a single one!

One is the Loneliest Number

2011-03-15T14:43:00.000-06:00

Not that I would know....I'm NEVER freakin' alone. I'm thinking it may be high time to do some serious hiding in my closet or something.

In the past 4 1/2 weeks Baylee only managed to make it to school about 5 days. Yeah....5. Admittedly, I was completely freaked out about what my mornings were going to be like without Grandma....turns out I haven't had to worry about that.

On those 5 miraculous days when Baylee did make it to school, the other three gallantly tried to fill the space with falling down the stairs, infected fingers and torn tendons. They are so sweet! I don't know how I got to be so lucky! We even had a leak in the kitchen ceiling that required a plumber...again...totally not alone!

Given all of this 'giving' from my sweet little babies, I could really use some alone. You know the whole "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing.....I would like to check that out.

All right, I'll be honest. I really am glad that everyone has been around. But I think it may be time for me to start processing some of the stress in my life. I can only avoid it for SO long....at some point, I'm going to have to face reality....although I have heard that 'Reality is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there'....perhaps I should take on that philosophy instead.

Lessons Learned
1. I get very project oriented when I don't want to think.
2. How come cleaning my house is NEVER one of the projects I get oriented to?
3. I believe my children have ABSOLUTELY worn out the word Mom.
4. It is amazing how hard it is to play hide and seek with yourself.
5. You know....the second I am by myself, I'm going to regret it.

When I Grow Up.....

2011-02-22T16:55:00.000-07:00

.....I want to be my grandma.

This last week, week and a half, completely took my family, me especially by surprise.

On Saturday, February 12th, we were on our way to Primary Childrens for Baylee's monthly infusion when the neighbor called to see if we were home because there were police cars and eventually fire trucks and ambulances. Uhhhh, no.....not home, except for grandma.

I'm going to keep a long story short because this part isn't the point of my post. Grandma had a mild stroke. She actually started improving Saturday afternoon, but by Saturday evening, started going downhill a little bit. Sunday morning Grandma had taken an obvious turn for the worse and we called all the family to gather. Grandma was able to issue the Do Not Resuscitate order herself that day. And she stayed awake until the whole family made it to see her. Everyone that couldn't come, was able to to talk to her on the phone.

Early Monday morning, Valentines Day, grandma had slipped into a coma. And late that night she passed away and was reunited with my grandpa after 32 years. It was beautiful, it really was. Ohhhhh, how I am going to miss her, but not for long, we'll be together again.

Now, the point of the post. As my family spent time together, going through documents, making phone calls and mourning our loss, I learned a few lessons. Lessons that need to be shared.

1. When you talk to someone, make sure they have your full attention. When you give someone your full attention, they feel like they are the only person in the world to you. Grandma had such a gift for that. It didn't matter which one of her children, grandchildren or great-grandchildren she was talking to, when she talked to us....nothing else mattered.....Just us.

2. Compassion is learned, more importantly it can be magnified. This ties in pretty heavily with number one. I talked to so many people that told me how much they loved my grandma. They all said that she laughed with them and cried with them and that she was always there when they were in a tough spot and needed some words of encouragement. Part of compassion is being available. It doesn't matter how much you support someone, if you don't make an effort to be there. And being there sometimes means a note, a call, a hug or an even simpler touch that acknowledges someone's presence. Again, grandma was SOOOOO good at this. I think it helped that she loved to chat, but even if she didn't....when she gave of herself....she gave her whole self.

3. A sense of humor is a terrible thing to waste. I guess I come by it naturally....but grandma has taught us all how to laugh at ourselves, and there is nothing wrong with that. A little self-deprication goes a long way. Laughter is the best medicine and in the middle of trials and tribulations, nothing makes it more difficult for Satan to creep in and take over than laughter. Laughter soothes the soul, brings people together and forges bonds stronger than any other. Laughter through tears develops your heart and soul and puts them through the refiners fire. Strength comes from the ability of have emotion, as long as it's a balanced act.

4. When you find your talent....SHARE, SHARE, SHARE!!!! Grandma had a huge gift for working with special needs individuals. She brought so much life and light to so many. My brothers Bishop told him that special needs individuals are the way they are because they were the Generals in Heavenly Fathers Army. They worked with Arch Angels to bring forth His work, and this was the only way to protect them from Satans influence. How beautiful. And what kind of beautiful individual to see the worth, value and beauty of these individuals.

5. Live well, laugh often and love much. Who could be a better example of finding joy in seas of turmoil than my grandma. She did amazing things with very little and used every asset and gift Heavenly Father gave her to make the world a brighter place for everyone. She loved freely and without condition, and just wanted to make the world a little bit better for everyone.

There are so many lessons, and so many gifts that my grandma gave me and many, many others. I was and am a very, very lucky girl to have been privileged to not only have known her, but to have her be my grandma!

Marion Tanner Peters

March 21, 1925 to February 14, 2011

Thank you Grandma....for everything.

A-Z About Me....Because I Never Back Down from a Challenge

2011-02-01T15:16:00.000-07:00

A- Attached or Single? Attached....to my phone, computer, chocolate....

B-Best Friend? There really are many. But I'm gonna have to go with my hubby. He is the only person I have been able to hysterically cry in front of and not have them run away screaming!

C-Cake or pie? Cake....with lots and lots of butter cream frosting and a giant class of milk.

D-Day of choice? Sunday. The only day of the week not involving an alarm clock and me running someone somewhere (unless of course it is the doctor or hospital....and that does happen on occasion)

E-Essential Item? MY SENSE OF HUMOR....Life is too crazy for me not to have it. My sense of humor, while bordering on the possibility of me being institutionalized, is what gets me through each day.

F-Favorite color? Blue....all shades....I LOVE BLUE!

G-Gummy bears or worms? Gummy Bears....preferably chocolate covered and frozen.

H-Home town? Santa Ana, California. Yeah, I rolled with the homies growing up, and the vatos, and the gang bangers.....

I-Favorite indulgence? Reading. When I have the chance I read like a maniac. If I have nothing else to do, I can do 4-7 books a week.

J-January or July? July! 'Cuz it's my birthday, even if I don't admit and won't let anyone celebrate...it's my month. And since I share a birthday with Lizzie Borden....it makes it a month worth celebrating!

K-Kids? Girl, Boy, Girl, Boy. I'm too organized to have done it any other way.

L-Life isn't complete without? Family. I don't know what I would do without my babies. My family is my everything.

M-Marriage date? 10-14-1994

N-Number of brothers and sisters? 2 brothers, 2 sister....again...that organization thing, thank goodness my mother understood that.

O-Oranges or Apples? I love oranges, but hate peeling. I like apples and like that it requires very little effort on my part.

P-Phobias? People. Do I get extra point for there being 2 P's?

Q-Quote? “Life is about falling. Living is about getting back up." I have no idea who said it, wrote it or whatever...but it definitely fits me. (Although another personal favorite is "If the shoe fits, it's ugly."

R-Reasons to smile? Yes, I have them. I have lots of them. Sadly, or not, I am such a freakin' Pollyanna.....

S-Season of choice? Summer....without a doubt. Sun, sun and more sun. Although I did just have 3 pre-cancerous lesions (due to sun exposure) removed, I might have to start liking another season better.

T-Tag 3 people: Jill (because she is currently updating her blog), Melanie (because I love her pictures and I bet she would add a bunch) and Liz (because she doesn't have anything else to do) LOL

U-Unknown fact about me? I have a seizure disorder....no questions, there is a reason it has remained unknown for so long, and it would have stayed that way, but I panicked and realized that I'm pretty transparent....what you see is what you get.

V-Vegetable? Is chocolate a vegetable? Oh, you are asking if I'M a vegetable....not yet....but I have days where it's debatable.

W-Worst habit? Faking that everything is okay ALL OF THE TIME.

X-Xray or Ultrasound? Ummmmmm....have had so many of both, but I'm gonna go with X-ray. One day I may have been exposed so much I'll turn into a superhero.

Y-Your favorite food? That's a really dumb questions for someone with Apathetic Gorgism (A.G.- I name it myself, because I don't care how much I eat, I don't care when I eat, etc.)

Z-Zodiac sign: Cancer. I have always struggled with that. I'm a crab. I'm a disease. Yuck.

Lessons Learned
1. I don't think any of these are big surprises.
2. I don't know if it is a good thing that I'm so see through...but going with the idea of yes, it is....I guess no one can claim that I am hiding anything.....EVER!
3. I really should back down from challenges.
4. P.S. Anything related to food, NOT FAIR QUESTIONS. I have a love/hate relationship with food (i.e. I love food, and I hate myself for it)
5. I'm afraid everyone will know exactly how boring I really am now.

STAY AWAY FROM THE LIGHT!!

2011-01-24T19:32:00.001-07:00

Oh Monday, if I never knew ye, would I like you? Would you and I have a different relationship if you were known by any other name than Monday? I know I shouldn't blame you....but when everyone else is sleeping, you sneak, hiding slyly against the walls...waiting for my first breath in the first seconds of the day you claim as your own. Monday, sweet Monday....we gotta talk!

The days rolls by, each beginning at midnight and bidding farewell at approximately the same twenty four hours later....Oh, if you only knew exactly how true that was....

At exactly 12:01 am this Monday morning, I was awakened by the sound of the alarm counting down to loudness. What the? I stayed in bed deciding whether or not I was dreaming or if it was real. Then I heard the garage door open and the sound of footsteps (in retrospect, the footsteps were panicked....during the experience ....it was some big, burly guy looking for someone to be his girlfriend in jail). I jumped out of bed, in perfect rhythm to the sound of Felix's breathing.

I got to the alarm pad just as it started wailing, when I heard someone else punch in the code and the alarm silenced. Not only was it a big, bad burly man....but a smart one as well. As I looked around for a feather duster to use as a weapon, I heard the familiar sounds of Savannah crying (No, Savannah I'm not saying you cry too much, I'm saying you are 13) as the footsteps worked their way up to my room.

I ran to her (in a very motherly way, of course) to find out was wrong. She had been dreaming she was being held captive and managed to escape. She decided to make a break for it through the garage...when the alarm started beeping, she woke up, shut the garage and turned it off. Oh, honey. Being the extraordinary pillar of "Mother of the Year-dom-ness" that I am, I threw some blankets at her and had her make a bed on my floor so I could go back to sleep.

And once I slept and woke to my alarm, it was still Monday. I got Savannah up and the boys up and let Baylee sleep for a while (since we were going to the doctors anyways). After the boys were ready and on carpool-watch, I noticed my neighbor out the window. Sadly, she was aware it was Monday too. As they were going to the car, one of the kids locked her garage door, locking her out of her house without keys.

No problem....I can do carpool! I started my car and got the boys herded in the right direction. As the car was warming up, I woke up Baylee. Back to the car..."Boys, get in. I said, boys, get in. GET IN THE CAR." At which point my neighbor came back...keys in hand and said, "I'm driving!" AWESOME.

I got the boys over to her car, when (much to my dismay), Caleb decided to have a meltdown in the middle of the street, "But I want YOUUUUUUUU to take me to school...in YOURRRRRRRRR car!" It's nice to be needed. Noah, however, did not need me and went with the neighbors while I drove Caleb to school.

As soon as I got home, I got Baylee ready and we left for her doctor appointment. We were kind of dreading it, but it turned out good....and I use the term loosely. We have six months for Baylee's feet to finish correcting on their own, or it's time for surgery. I look at it as good news because now, I don't have to start freaking out until (February, March, April, May, June, July) July. I don't have to freak until July. I can do that.

We make the drive back to the valley from Salt Lake and I totally miss the exit...so we get to go to Orem and turn around. That's always fun. I drop Baylee off, stop for a quick chat with the schools director (find out why my Kindergartner got lectured for beating up the eighth graders) and head back out.

As I am walking to the car, I smell gas...okay I didn't at first...but once the recess monitor pointed it out...I could TOTALLY smell it. I go back and talk to the director, the gas company has already check it and we're good. So back to the car I go.

I go the store, completely forget all about couponing and spend WAY more money than I planned. Such is life....at least, such is my life.

I get home and decide that now would be a good time to tape and paint the trim in the basement. Of course it is. I have 45 WHOLE minutes until Kindergarten carpool. I finished taping much faster than I had anticipated and of course went right to painting.

I get to carpool, drop the kids off, take my kid home and tell him if he wants lunch right this second he's on his own...If he can wait 20 minutes I'll make it. Yeah, he waited. I finished painting the trim (coat 1 of course) and made lunch.

While I ate, I hunkered down at my computer and worked for an hour or so. Yes, that would be my J-O-B...which I love, so it was an incredibly welcome distraction from life.

As soon as I am done with work, I go and do coat number 2. Don't give me grief about letting the paint dry....I have a system and it's not your trim, so ZIP IT!

Savannah came home just in time to watch me finish up. I hurry and take the tape off so we can get to piano lessons.

We love piano lessons. It helps we have one of the very best teachers in the world. If she can teach me (or at least make the attempt), then she has to be good.

Savannah was about halfway through her lesson when my phone rang. It was Noah....having an asthma attack....having a REALLY, REALLY bad asthma attack. I keep him calm enough to get to his inhaler....no reaction. Not good. I walk him through setting up his nebulizer and start a treatment. At this point, I realize that I can't get to him fast enough. I call Felix, who immediately gets up, walks out of a meeting and to his boy.

In the middle of all of that, the school calls. Carpool left her. Really? Okay. So I call Noah back and stay on the phone with him to make sure he hasn't passed out. "Noah, please grunt every few seconds so I know you're still with me." At which point, I listen to a beautiful symphony that sounds a little something like, "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." He didn't just grunt, he moaned.....and moaned.....and moaned.

Felix called to tell me he was getting close. I switched back to Noah who was trying to explain the feeling of the life being crushed out of him. There is nothing quite as surreal as listening to your baby suffocate. Helpless doesn't describe it.

I ask Noah if he wants me to have Grandma come up and help him. He is such a smart boy, he decided that he didn't want Grandma to see his room, so he would rather suffer alone. I totally get that.

I have him go and grab an ice cube and sit on the porch to wait for his dad. Once Felix gets him, he calls me to tell me that he is worse than we thought and they are going to the ER. After a few minutes, Felix calls back to tell me that he has started breathing better and they are going to InstaCare instead.

I, at this point, am heading to get Baylee at school. I pick her up, drop the kids off and go to meet Felix and Noah at the doctor.

At his lowest point, his oxygen was at 80....that's bad....that's very, very bad. But after another treatment, he started breathing better and we got a prescription for a new nebulizer....YAY! There is always a good side, sometimes you have to look, really, really hard, but it's there.

We decided to go to the home health clinic and pick up the nebulizer right away. This one is batter powered and has a car charger....I love technology!

Noah stayed in the car and continued moaning....he would make awesome tracks for the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland. It was however, broken up by an occasional gasp of air. "What was that?" "Oh, I keep forgetting to breath...it really, really, hurts." That sucks.

So Monday, as I sit here thinking about my (your) day, I think you can understand why I find it difficult to love you. I want to love you. I want, more importantly, to understand you. I think I have bad days on Tuesdays, perhaps even an odd Friday or Saturday....but there is something about you that just doesn't sit well with me. In the meantime, just know....I'm watching, and waiting for your next appearance, even though I know you have 4 and half hours left of today.... And just for reference, I don't get mad, I get even.

Lessons Learned
1. STRS (sound it out...it sounds like stress) is a 4 letter word.
2. Everyone has (thus far) made it out alive. That means it's a good day.
3. Asthma is not nice.
4. Noah should do Halloween tracks.
5. This is yet another reminder for me to be grateful for the little things...like breathing. Autonomic functions are TOTALLY underrated.

Twi-Harder

2011-01-18T17:46:00.000-07:00

I just read the Twilight series for the first time. I am an aberration to pop culture.

I HATED IT!

On so many levels and for SO many reasons. I will name a few....just for fun.

1. Pride and Prejudice is my favorite novel....EVER. After Darcy could there EVER be anyone else?

2. Anne of Green Gables is my favorite series....EVER (Baylees middle name is Anne...and does it FIT). Anne and Gilbert anyone?

3. I don't want my little girls to think that it is EVER okay for boys to sneak into their rooms and spend the night....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

4. I don't want my little girls to think they aren't enough on their own.....even with a broken heart. As I am now INCREDIBLY fond of saying, "There can never be an 'US' without a 'U' (YOU) first." AND I MEAN IT.

5. I really like fantasy fiction....I'm always up for a good love story, but one can only take 'his chest was like marble' so many times before they consider changing their kitchen counters from granite to foam because of the memories left by a book.

6. I'd be ticked if someone ruined my pillows, let alone my headboard.

7. Not to mention a DOG thinking it's going to marry my baby....that's just wrong.

8. Totally offended by the Abraham, Sarah, Haggar reference....if you don't know what I'm talking about, there's this book....it's called the Bible.

9. The Loch Ness Monster....where the HUD did that come from?????

10. Sigh.....I could go on forever.....I'm never going to get the images out of my head.

Lessons Learned

1. Savannah knows me SO well....she said I would feel better if I rewrote the series....she's right....I would.

2. Liz and Cat....the 'I HATE TWILIGHT' party had better be worth it.

3. I have a new, profound gratitude for the incredible rate of speed at which I read.

4. My little girls deserve WAY better than the boys in these stories.....I hope I can make sure they understand that.

5. I understand that at this point in my life, I am somewhat jaded and cynical....but I know my husband loves me BECAUSE I am strong and I didn't have to change myself to fit into his world.

SAVINGS, SAVINGS, SAVINGS.....at a Price

2011-01-11T16:31:00.003-07:00

Oh boy! I sure did it this time. I have angered the great and powerful WalMart.

I have been trying to get into couponing for a couple of years now. It's been pretty off and on, but I have been trying to pick back up on it....my OCD needs and outlet and I am DESPERATELY trying NOT to bake myself to death. Who do I think I'm kidding....my neighbors love it when I get stressed....they get really well fed.

Regardless, thanks to Extreme Couponing, the show about couponers who have more time than I have EVER thought about having in my ENTIRE LIFE, I decided I could do that. I didn't do nearly as well as them, but hey, 60% off of my groceries ain't half bad. BUT.....it was a smidge more of an adventure than I thought.

So due to some time constraints and unforeseeable adventures, I waited until the last day of the sales (TODAY) that I wanted to hit. Last week, I took the circulars, decided what I want and ordered my coupons so I could scoop 'em up. I didn't want to go to 4 different stores, so I decided to take WalMart up on their price matching policy. Ayyyyyy!

I know I looked like at loon with my 24 boxes of oatmeal....but it was flavored! And once I was done, $.67/box....yes sixty seven cents....usually about 2.70....AWESOME. I had a whole bunch of other goodies like that...mostly stocking up on school lunch supplies and snacks....but my cart did look a little obnoxious. Unfortunately, I do have to tell you about the 60 candy bars.....NO I am not going to eat them all....today. But the candy bars will become very important later on in this adventure.

I very methodically unloaded my cart. 12 cans of Progresso, 24 boxes of oatmeal, 20 bags of chex mix, 24 packages (packages....that means x4 cups) of pudding, 4 boxes of Special K, 36 Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, 24 Skor bars AND a box of Alka Seltzer. Yes, I am that crazy....you either love me or you don't....deal with it.

I count everything as I am waiting for my turn. I looked at the lady behind me and made a general announcement to the poor suckers....I mean innocent bystanders behind me, "I am price matching and then doing coupons." The lady directly behind me said, "No worries." Awesome, I didn't have to worry about her.

Then I realize who the checker is. I don't like this lady on a good day. Sigh....should have paid more attention. Oh well....I already unloaded.

Sooooooo, there were sign all over the store announcing WalMarts policy of price matching. That means there was more than one. So I was thinking this would be a piece of cake. WRONG!!!!!!

I had place everything on the belt in order. I had everything that needed to be price matched together. I explain it to her, take out my first ad and she says. This doesn't have a date. I can't use the ad. Ummmmmm.....here's the date. She rolled her eyes. SHE ROLLED HER EYES!!!! Then she looks at my item and says, you bought the wrong size....I can't use the ad. Ummmmmmm.....here is the RANGE for sizes. My products fall in the RANGE. She rolls her eyes. AGAIN!

Needless to say, the checker argued over every single price match. EVERY SINGLE ONE! But I'm stubborn....that sucked for her. Especially at coupon time.

We finally made it through my products....now it was time for coupons. The pregnant lady a couple of patrons back was looking wistfully at the bathroom....I felt bad about that, but I was getting too close to done to stop now.

I decided to hand over my 30 coupons for the Reeses PB cups/Hershey candy bars. I price matched down to .50, then had a Buy One Get One free coupon....so each candy bar was .25. Unless of course you were the checker from Aytch EEEEE Double Hockey Sticks. She looks at the coupon and says, "You can't use these. They are for Reeses, Kit Kats or Hershey Bars." My reply was, "No, it says Reeses, Kit Kats or ANY Hershey Bars." She said, "No it doesn't." I said, "Yes, it does." She said, "No it doesn't" I said, "When you put the letters A, N and Y together in this order is spells ANY." She used the coupons. I offered to help write in the amount. She said, "You have already handed me the coupons, you CANNOT touch them again." Crabby.

Then we get through the soup coupons, cereal coupons, chex coupons.....then the lady behind me said, "Do you have any more coupons?" I showed her my stack and she said, "This is ridiculous, you are ruining my day. I can't believe this is happening." I told her, "I'm not ruining your day." She packed up her stuff and went to another lane....BYE! At which point the checker went into a tizzy. Every time someone tried to get in line behind me she would yell (and I'm not exaggerating....she was yelling), "We have a TON of coupons, you are going to have to go somewhere else." I'm pretty sure there was one guy that was going to start crying.

Near the end of the adventure I looked at the checker and said, "are my pudding coupons in that stack? I had them with those ones." She said, "I don't know where they went." Until I looked down and saw they were tucked away under the little shelf. SHE WAS HIDING MY COUPONS.....for RUDE! But I caught her, and she scanned them.

When all was said and done, I bought about $212 worth of groceries and I paid about $90.

We were FINALLY done. Then as I was walking out of the store, perusing my purchases and receipt, I realized she charged me for 29 boxes of oatmeal and I only had 24. I don't think so! So I got to turn around and go to the customer service representative. I WANT MY $8 DOLLARS! (Better Off Dead anyone?)

I explained what happened to the customer service person and told her she could count my oatmeal and she looked at the receipt, looked at my cart, looked at me and said, "Ummmm, I'll take your word for it."

Lessons Learned
1. I did buy 4 more boxes of oatmeal than I had coupons for....I won't make that mistake again. MUST COUNT BETTER.
2. There really is a high when you realize that you are doing more with less.
3. WalMart needs to change the bottom of their receipt from "We will GLADLY accept manufacturer and internet coupons." to "We will accept coupons and price matching only if you make us and we can be jerks about it."
4. It was kind of fun. I think I'm going to buy Peanut Butter next week.
5. I don't want to go overboard, but my OCD might like this game.

7 Wonders of MY World.....

2011-01-10T12:24:00.000-07:00

As an insomniac, my mind can COMPLETELY spin out of control during a sleepless night.....especially when on Ambien and STILL not sleeping.

Last week, things were insane....hey, have you met me? THINGS ARE ALWAYS INSANE!

Without detail....which I prefer not to give anyway, one of my two sleepless nights went a little something like this. Just remember....I am doing my darndest to get across the things that were going on inside of my head. So as you read this, you are going to have to look at this as a sort of 'dialogue'. I'll use quotation marks....hopefully that will help.

"Sigh. It's 12:30....I've already been trying for an hour and a half....and nothing. I'm not even goobery from the Ambien. Why does Ambien work sometimes and sometimes not? Hmmmmm.....I wonder if I should Google that in the morning. Oh, I love that story....the one with the little school girl and the 7 wonders of the world. I wonder if it would be cheating if I totally stole them and put them on my blog. Cuz she was pretty cool for a kid....she didn't look at THINGS and think they were wonders.....NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, her wonders were SOOOOOOOOOOO way better....Hope, love and all that crap.

I wonder what my wonders would be? Is it cheating if I stole her list? The Pyramids in Giza ARE pretty cool....no they aren't a wonder. My kids could be my wonders......except those are like a total given, I don't want to waste one of my seven on my kids. Ohhhhh, that might hurt their feelings. Too bad. How about peace? Peace is a good wonder....only there isn't any....if there was I'd be asleep. Sigh....only 1:15? SOOOOO many hours left.

Hope, hope is a wonder. I have hope. Except when I don't. I try to have hope. I don't know if I have hope tonight. What were the 7 things on that little girls list. I guess I'll have to look it up so I don't wonder.....ha, ha....I just decided I didn't want to wonder about wonder. That was a good one. Yeah, hope should go on the list.

What about doctors? Should doctors be a wonder? I don't know. They awesome and all that, but I think I want to go bigger. God is a wonder. Oh yeah. Totally, but should He be on the list? I mean, I'm looking at wonders as things He has given me, so if He's on the list, is that cheating? Maybe we could go with prayer. Prayer is a wonder. Mmmmmmm, maybe I should pray for sleep. Wait, I did....didn't I? I don't know anymore. What time is it? Should I look, will I just get depressed?

I should be nicer. I'm not very nice....especially when I am tired. I'm so tired. Tomorrow is going to be such a long day. I wonder how my friends are. I wonder if they are sleeping? If they are, am I jealous? Yeah, totally jealous....how do I manage to break a commandment when all I'm trying to do is sleep? I have got to get that whole coveting thing under control.

Ohhhhhh, 4 am.....so tired.......why can't I BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP."

Lessons Learned
1. The beep, beep, beep was a combo of what I was saying in my head and the alarm....just so you know.
2. Insomnia sucks.
3. For the first time in YEARS....I'm talking like 10 years.....I slept this weekend. That was nice.
4. And yes.....I did tone it down for you....it really gets much, much, much worse.
5. At least I'm never bored.

A Christmas Experiment, Gone Horribly.......

2010-12-27T09:49:00.000-07:00

RIGHT. Phew, what a relief it is to say that.

Before I begin, I just want to say that we did this for us....not to judge, criticize or make anyone else feel bad about how they did things. This was what we needed....

Felix and I decided early in the Christmas season that we didn't want the same ol' typical Christmas. Lot's of stuff, lots of fighting.....blah, blah, blah.

This year has been more adventurous for us than most....they seem to be getting more and more hectic as we wend our way through some of our medical issues. I spent a lot of time at the hospital with Baylee, Felix spent a lot of time at work and we both realized the one thing we didn't have enough of this year was time. We both felt like our kids deserved more than we had been able to give this year.

So we warned the kidlets that there would not be a lot of 'stuff' this year. Originally, we had planned on a little getaway, but that just didn't quite work out either. But we stuck to our guns and didn't buy individual gifts. We bought family gifts and only family gifts.

Not to say that our kids didn't get anything....they just didn't add to their piles of unused toys and gadgets already piled in their rooms.

Santa managed to still get us our Christmas Eve jammies. Phew....I don't know if we would have survived without our Christmas Eve jammies. Then in complete opposition to what we have always done....we stayed up until after 11, having a rockin' Christmas Eve Rock Band party with the kids. We kept the computer up, so we could track Santa through NORAD and the second he crossed into Utah territory, we all went to bed.

Christmas morning we woke up to new sleds from Santa and new snow pants from Mom and Dad. The kids don't believe that I have Santa on speed dial...but I do....that is how we are able to always coordinate so well. Their stocking contained journals, silly string, a giant bag of M&M's and a disposable camera. A disposable camera????? In this digital age? Well, the mommy worked that out pretty quickly and we are going to develop the pictures from our Family Christmas adventure and make a photo collage....I think we may have to do that every year.

We weren't totally heartless......there were games and movies, a Clearplay (so mommy could watch all the movies she hasn't been able to) and an air hockey table. No individual gifts....but things we would be able to do together.

We put the air hockey table together and played for a couple of hours and then we suited up and went hill hunting for some sleddin' time. We stopped at a convenience store and had donuts and Ruffles for Christmas breakfast....YUMMMMMMM.

It didn't take long, but we found a great hill and had a marvelous time. Apparently, all I do is cackle as I watch everyone else biff it....watch for videos....you'll see what I'm talking about.

We had dinner with my family and then headed home to enjoy the rest of our day. We made a late night snack of pot stickers and fried rice and then played air hockey and watched movies until the wee hours.

So...it wasn't a big Christmas. What is was.....WONDERFUL. There was more peace in our home this Christmas. Our focus, had been completely changed.....

Lessons Learned
1. It really is just stuff. And it really doesn't matter.
2. My kids were amazing about our 'redirection' from commercialism.....they didn't complain....NOT ONCE.
3. We spent a whole day playing as a family.....AND WE LIKED IT.
4. It was nice to be content with what I have....and admitted, I have a lot more than I need....but the best thing I have, is my family.
5. We might be doing this again next year.

Ode to the 12 Days of Christmas - Repost from 12/08

2010-12-19T19:06:00.000-07:00

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a partridge in a pear tree.
--Ummmm, what is a partridge and what the hud is it doing in my tree?

On the second day of Christmas my true love game to me two turtle doves and a patridge in a pear tree.
--Great, it's that wretched partridge again and now doves? That's it, I'm calling animal control.

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me three french hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.
--What the hud is up with the flipping birds? Who's going to clean up all of the poop?

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves and a patridge in a pear tree.
--Are they remaking Hitchcocks birds or something? HELP ME.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me 5 golden rings, four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.
--That's right we are in Utah, so 5 golden rings is perfectly acceptable. At least there will be help to build the aviary.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me 6 geese a laying, 5 golden rings, four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.
--Great, now it's not only bird poop, but eggs too. GRAND.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me 7 swans a swimming, 6 geese a laying, 5 golden rings, four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.
--I don't have a pool, why the heck are they here? Where's my gun? Swans aren't a protected species are they?

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me 8 maids a milking, 7 swans a swimming, 6 geese a laying, 5 golden rings, four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.
--Milking what? We only have stupid birds.

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me 9 ladies dancing, 8 maids a milking, 7 swans a swimming, 6 geese a laying, 5 golden rings, four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.
--Has anyone told them that they are dancing on bird poop and eggs yet?

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me 10 lords a leaping, 9 ladies dancing, 8 maids a milking, 7 swans a swimming, 6 geese a laying, 5 golden rings, four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.
--Okay, the lords a leaping got the memo...at least they are trying to avoid the bird poop.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me 11 pipers piping, 10 lords a leaping, 9 ladies dancing, 8 maids a milking, 7 swans a swimming, 6 geese a laying, 5 golden rings, four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.
--Great, the plumbers are here. What do they think they are going to accomplish, birds don't use toilets.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me 12 drummers drumming, 11 pipers piping, 10 lords a leaping, 9 ladies dancing, 8 maids a milking, 7 swans a swimming, 6 geese a laying, 5 golden rings, four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.
--Well, with any luck at all they will drum everyone out of here so I can clean up the poop.

MERRY CHRISTMAS (and avoid all of the poop).

The Eensy, Weensy Spider.....

2010-12-12T17:25:00.000-07:00

"Spider!" "Spider, spider, spider, spider, spider!!!!!" "SPIDER!"

Yeah, that would be how it started. Oh my goodness....put your big girl pants on and get it yourself.

"I have to leave," Felix says, "Can you go down and take care of that?" "Fine!" I said on the inside and outside. The big babies. "I'll be down in a minute!" They can avoid it for an entire minute. No problem.

I finish up what I am doing and go to the basement. I get to the bottom of the stairs and just as my toes are gracing the very tippy tops of the carpet, Caleb, Baylee AND Savannah are all screaming, "Stop! You are going to step on it. It's a black widow....we're gonna die!!!!!!!"

Drama much? I look down and see a GIANT spidery-lookin' thing. It was black...but I'm pretty sure there were more than 8 legs. I get down and look closer. Why? Because I'm me. Spiders don't scare me. My older brother had a tarantula as a pet. So....I get about an inch from the 'spider' and realize...it's a wadded up ball of string.

So I reach to pick it up and the kids all start screaming bloody murder. I'm not kidding....bloody murder. I pick it up and Baylee nearly passes out before she turns and runs screaming in the other room. Caleb and Savannah back up towards the wall as I am trying to unravel the string and explain it's JUST string.

Sadly, there was so much screaming it sounded something like, "But........No.......Stop........Screaming.......Wait..........Look.......Chill........" I think you get the general idea. I finally get close enough for the three "Screamateers" to see the string I am holding up. After a minute, Savannah and Baylee calm down and kind of giggle. I say, kind of, on purpose. They had worked themselves into such a frenzy they were having trouble calming down.

It was about then I realized someone was still screaming. Poor Caleb was sitting on the couch, tears streaming down his cheeks, flushed and wailing.

I finally sit next to him, touch him with my hand (so he'll open his eyes and stop screaming) and he opens his eyes, sees the fully extended string and screams even louder as he tries to burrow through the cushions of the couch to protect himself from the danger of the wild string. After a minute it dawns on him. He stops screaming, looks at me, looks at the string and says, "Stop chasing me with that thing."

Lessons Learned
1. I think we might be needin' a tarantula.
2. Big babies.
3. Poor things.
4. Poor Caleb...he needs to not hang out with his sisters.
5. For the record, I wasn't chasing anybody!

Angels Among Us

2010-12-01T12:32:00.002-07:00

Many of you know that Baylee has to go up to Primary Children's Medical Center pretty often. If you didn't before, you do now.

We were last there a couple of weeks ago. Because we had to push her treatment up, we ended up going a little later in the day than usual. I don't think that was an accident. I think Heavenly Father wanted me to have a particular experience.

The halls of PCMC are blessed. I've always thought that. How can you not, when you see the bent and twisted bodies, the tubes and machines hooked up to children, and all of the amazing people who care for these little ones?

There is a part of me that feels almost guilty for noticing that even though we have our fair share of trials, it could always be worse. I don't like having that viewpoint, but it is reality.

I was somewhat frustrated with our last visit. I was tired, not looking forward to another long afternoon/evening.

It's always interesting to see the people at Primary's. You can see the worry, hope and peace throughout their bodies. Anyone who has spent any time there, even for just a doctors appointment understands the combination of emotion. You worry because of the struggle of your child. You hope for the best....you always hope for the best, even when part of you is expecting the worst. And peace....some have it, some are searching for it and some don't think they will ever find it.

We arrived in our room, got Baylee hooked up to her IV, did all of her blood work and then waited for the medication to arrive from the pharmacy. Once she had ordered her dinner and had a craft to occupy herself, I went to the cafeteria to get myself some dinner so we could eat together.

As I was walking into the cafeteria, I was looking toward the floor, kind of deep in thought about how much more I could take and more importantly about how much more Baylee could take, and how I need to do a better job for all of my children, especially the ones at home. I glanced up to walk through the door (and make sure I wasn't running into anybody or anything) and the first thing I was were two little legs being held up by the supports on the wheelchair. I quickly looked at the boy, his father and walked past to get something to eat.

After I got my food, I went over to the line to pay. I was privileged and extremely humbled to be right behind this child, his father and a guest I hadn't noticed the first time. When I first brushed past, I didn't see what this little one had been through. This time I saw the multiple scars that ran from his feet up his legs. I saw the swelling and irritation of more recent surgical scars on his arms and legs. I also saw the drainage tubes coming from underneath his shirt.

I felt bad for dismissing this little wonder the first time I saw him. After standing behind this little boy for only a few minutes, my spirit was humbled and I felt a peace unlike any other. I was amazed at what I heard from this angel.

As he looked back and forth between his father and the other man as they talked, his eyes were bright and excited. After a moment watching the exchange, he suddenly said, "Bishop, I am so happy to see you. I am always so happy when I'm here, because I get to see so many of my friends. The people here love me Bishop. Know how I know? Because they take care of me. I am so happy to see you. Can you stay for a while? My dad likes to talk to you and so do I. This is why I like it here, because so many people love me." I watched as the Bishop stood there and wiped tears from his eyes. He got down on bended knee and gave a quick hug and said, "What's not to love?"

It may not sound like much, but looking at the scars, the tubes and the physical ailments of this little one and I was completely overcome by what a precious place this was. Even though Baylee did not have the same journey as this boy, hers was still a trial for her. And through it all, how blessed we are to have so many angels among us. These doctors and nurses who have chosen to help the weak, sick and suffering little ones are but a few of the angels there. Others include the friends, volunteers and support staff.

I was also over come by how many of Heavens angels walk through the corridors of that hospital. The blessings of Heaven rest there. Our babies are never alone in their suffering and trials and neither are we.

Heavenly Father would never turn His back on a child and there is proof of that at Primary Children's Medical Center.

I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to see the purity of this boys spirit. I cannot fathom how he has physically suffered, but I can understand so much better why he is able to endure the physical struggles and and yet continue to bring joy to others. What a wonderful scene to witness. I saw the power of life. I feel so privileged.

I know mere words could never do justice to what I witnessed, but I hope it suffices to say that I felt the love for my daughter and for me on this visit. I was truly, truly humbled and am so grateful for this loving, gentle reminder of how truly blessed I am.

Lessons Learned
1. There are so many, where do I begin.?
2. How grateful I am to a Father in Heaven that gives us everything, and asks so little in return.
3. I'm grateful for my blessings, even if I have to walk through the refiners fire to reach them.
4. I know I'm stronger for my trials. I know my family is too. I hope we can give our strength to those who need it one day.
5. In this midst of chaos, is where the greatest peace lies.

Death by SPOON

2010-11-19T22:42:00.001-07:00

Oh, the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth that made it's way up to our room from the basement. Each footstep, heavy with whatever travesty had befallen the woeful child.

As Caleb came into our room, he threw himself onto our bed and loudly cried, "Noah, turned off my program......WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH". So we (being the incredibly just Solomon type parents that we are) asked Caleb what Noah's punishment should be.

"Should we ground him for 2 weeks?" Felix asked. "How about we cut off his hand for touching the remote?" I asked. Caleb looked at us and said, "YES."

As Felix and I giggled, Caleb continued to offer suggestions as to how we could correct the problem. "We should cut off his other hand too, in case he tries to use that to change the channel." Felix and I started giggling even harder, and then we hear, "And we should cut off his legs too, so he can't get to the remote."

At which point Felix and I lost it and started quoting Robin Hood (Kevin Costner version). "I'll cut your heart out with a spoon...." "Why a spoon cousin?" "Because it's dull, and it'll hurt more." Caleb was crying in the background about how this wasn't "hysterical", it was "serious"....NOAH CHANGED THE CHANNEL.

We asked Caleb how we should do the punishment....his sweet and honest reply was "Chainsaw........or spoon."

We called Noah up and asked Caleb to explain the punishment to Noah.

"First," he says, "You are grounded for 2 weeks." [Imagine Noah flipping out in the background]
"Then we will cut your hand off, then the other hand so you can't touch the remote. Then we will cut your legs off so you can't reach the remote." Caleb leans over and in his very bestest stage whisper asked, "Why do we use a spoon?"

As we all completely dissolved into fits of laughter, Noah went and got a plastic spoon and said, "I accept my punishment." So Felix flicked him a few times with the spoons, told his to change the channel back and Felix and I continued laughing.

As I write this little memoir, a voice came over the intercom and said, "Mom, Savannah turned off Caleb's show."

So Felix and I intercommed back, "Savannah come upstairs....AND BRING A SPOON."

Lessons Learned
1. Caleb might be a smidge vindictive.
2. He didn't get it from me.
3. Maybe you had to be there, but that was funny. I don't care who you are, that was funny.
4. Don't worry....we told Caleb it wasn't okay to cut people's arms and legs off.
5. BECAUSE IT'S DULL AND IT WILL HURT MORE.....It was funny then, and it's funny now.

PAYDAY!!!!

2010-11-16T17:28:00.000-07:00

I may have mentioned before, there are very large and very different personalities in my house.

Last Friday was the kids payday....time for allowance. We used to give it weekly, but in order to teach budgeting, we switched to monthly...man that has been fun. I think I upped my "Mom, can I have....?" quotient by at least a thousand.

Well last month....not so many chores have gotten done. I am the kind of employer that only pays for work performed....because we spent so much time riding the crazy train last month I wasn't able to keep as close of track as I usually do. So I thought I would try a little experiment. I asked the kids to tell me how much allowance they should get, and they had to justify it to me. I really wanted to see what their perspective was on how much they had to do around the house.

It went a little something like this:

MOM: Tell me how much I should give you and why.

SAVANNAH

She stood up, went to the basement and closed the door behind her. Ahhhhhh, thirteen.

NOAH

Per true Noah style, he grabbed a piece of paper, figured out average number of "workdays" in the year, worked it down to an average number of days. Figured out a daily rate for his chores, then of course, had to work out the most likely percentage of what he had actually done. After the computations were complete, it came out to $17.61...but he said, "How about we make it an even 17...in case there was an error in my math." Then he turned to Baylee and said, "You are getting way less than that because you didn't do any chores hardly at all!"

BAYLEE

Baylee looked my square in the eye and said, "Seventeen dollars". I asked, "Why?". Her extremely honest reply was, "because Noah said I couldn't get that much." I must remind myself to ask more specific questions, such as "Tell me how much allowance you should have based on the amount of work you think you did."

CALEB

"I don't really care about allowance mom, I just want a pillow pet."

To be fair to my personalities, I mean children, I won't divulge the amount of allowance they got....except that between Caleb's savings and allowance he did manage to eek out a pillow pet.

Lessons Learned
1. Be specific....be very, very specific.
2. Next....converse with each child individually....I'll save much loudness and time.
3. Keep track so I don't have to ask them.
4. Skip allowance all together and hire them out as child laborers.
5. Skip allowance and make everything they do part of the responsibility of being a family. Somehow, I don't think 4 and 5 are going to fly.....

The Darkest Hour is Just Before Dawn

2010-11-11T09:31:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm here to tell you, nuh-uh. In my humblest opinion, I'm going to have to go for roughly 2:30 to 3:30 ish.

As an avid insomniac, all sorts of fun and wonderful things can happen in the dead of night....except of course,quiet.

I think I have been taking my BFF Ambien for granted lately. You know, Ambi is very consistent, for the most part....but on occasion, like last night, we just don't seem to get along. So I figure this is my wake-up call (get it, wake-up call?), to be grateful for pharmaceuticals that let me rest more often than not.

After my monthly night out with the girls at the giggle fest, I came home wound up. I don't get to laugh that hard on a regular basis....so it takes me a while to come down off my giggle high. Kids in bed, drugs in mom, television off by 11. No problem.

Side Note: Felix started using a CPAP about 3 weeks ago. No snoring, but hoses and humming and don't get me started about what happens if he opens his mouth. Last night Felix decided to go sans CPAP. He was exhausted, had a stuffy nose, so he couldn't use his 'nose pillows'....that isn't what they look like, but ok.

He was asleep in 2 seconds flat, and snoring with every single breath. Every............Single...........Breath. So at 12:45, when I hear grandma turn on the house alarm, I know she is heading to bed and I can go downstairs and figure out what to do.

I try sleeping on the couch....unfortunately this is what happens:
-Cat gets lonely, climbs on me and is generally annoying
-Grandma starts moving furniture (I don't know if that is what she was doing, but it sure sounded like it)
-Grandma turns TV up to hear over whatever she is doing
-Cats start playing hockey with empty cat food cans
-Automatic litter box goes off, gets jammed, resets and goes off again
-Cat gets lonely, comes back and is generally annoying
-I resettle, start to drift off, and the smoke detector starts doing its' beepy warning "I need a new battery" thing....REALLY.
-Cat gets lonely, comes back and is absolutely annoying

So I decide it's TV time. It's about 2am at this point, so what do I watch....that would be Storm Chasers...nice, relaxing TV show. I turn on the computer and annoy myself on Facebook, checking out the news and thinking bad things about politicians. Sigh....

At this point, the cat comes back....again....and not only annoys me, but takes my blanket. Jerk kitty. So I finally give up and decided to go back to bed.

And Felix is snoring....I love him, but this was just SO NOT THE NIGHT for this. I try and match my breathing to his rhythm and pretend I am on a beach somewhere watching the crystalline waters lap over warm sand....as I start to drift off, the cat starts snoring. Super sigh.

I try again, get comfortable in my beach chair and settle in to my beautiful beach view. Just as I set one foot into the great subconscious of sleep, Caleb starts crying. Super duper sigh.

He stops....and I try again. It's getting harder to find my happy place. That does not make me happy. In the middle of my attempt, Caleb cries again and comes into my room....thinking he has majorly tossed his cookies, I wake up from my not sleeping stupor to find out what is wrong and he has to go to the bathroom....since when does he wake me up to tell me that? He does his bidness and heads back to bed.

I lay quietly, pretending that I can sleep. I glance at the clock....3:48....hmmmmmm, what to do what to do.

The next thing I know, Noah walks in at 7:23 to tell me I overslept.

Lessons Learned
1. I'm seriously going to have to start meditating before bed.
2. I hate insomnia.
3. I really hate insomnia.
4. I really need some sleep.
5. This is so not funny.....You would think after 10 years of fun with insomnia, I would be way better at this.

Bad Mood Bob

2010-11-04T17:15:00.000-06:00

I'm having a bad day. No particular reason....I am just in an EXTREMELY hateful mood. I'm guessing that I am putting this in the blog because I look at it as some sort of penance or something.

I really don't get like this very often. For the most part, I try to be positive...even when things are insane. The rest of the time, I just eat chocolate.

On our way to the pharmacy from today's doctor appointment (because we don't spend enough time with medical professionals), these are but a sample of the things that were going on in my head.

-Stop flicking your cigarette and drive the speed limit...moron.
-No, putting your sunglasses on top of your head don't make you look cool...it makes you squint....moron.
-Stop talking.
****Stoplight**** This is the part where I have to choke back tears at the stoplight for thinking mean things about strangers. Then the light turns green....
-I hate green.
-Why did you stop in front of the driveway...moron...now I'm stuck.
-That's an ugly car.
-The long pedal means go...moron.
-Did you just give me a dirty look....that was dumb.
-Why is everybody so stupid?
****Stoplight**** Back to crying.
-Does everyone and their freakin' grandma have a handicapped placard...sheesh, those things used to mean something.
-Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.....why am I so hateful?
-Because everyone else is stupid.
-That's not nice.
-Who asked you?
****Started wishing for a stoplight so I could put my extra personality away****
-I hate Thursday
-Why was it named Thursday.
-That was stupid
-How many ways can I say hateful? One HATEFUL.

Anyways, you get the point. These are the kinds of things that go on in my head....it's really a pretty scary place in there....unless of course, I am in the part that has rainbows, unicorns and sparkly things.

Lessons Learned
1. It may be time for anger management.
2. No....I don't want to talk about it.
3. I only have about 6 hours left before my 24 hour pity party is over.
4. Maybe I should call Ben and Jerry?
5. Hmmmmm, you know it's bad when chocolate doesn't even sound like it will fix everything.

The Ho's Are Back in Town

2010-11-04T14:27:00.000-06:00

Does anyone else ever have anything come back and bite them in the tushie or is it just me?

During the summer, we had an interesting conversation about what Ho's are....not the gardening type either. You can refer back if you need a refresher....

I had to pick Baylee up from school (rough day with many, many, many phone calls and tears...and I suck as a mom, but let's just leave that right there). Caleb was in the car and we made it about halfway home before we had the following conversation....

Caleb: I know how to say red in Spanish.

Mom: How?

Caleb: Rojo.

Mom: Very good.

Caleb: Baylee's a ho.

Mom: WHAT?

Caleb: Is ho a bad word?

Mom: Ummmmmm, yeah.

Caleb: Then why is it in rojo?

Mom: Because it is part of a WHOLE word. When you say Ho all by itself, it isn't a nice word.

Caleb: So Baylee isn't a Ho?

Mom: No.

Lessons Learned
1. I need to learn to shut up.
2. Trying to figure out if I learned anything else, other than lesson number 1.
3. My children need to stop paying attention to me.
4. I don't know if I deserve my children....but I am quite certain I DESERVE them.
5. This should make my mom happy, since she was the Ho this summer.

The Pancake Queen Rides Again.....

2010-10-21T12:06:00.000-06:00

About a year ago, Noah challenged me to a pancake eating contest. Yeah, he didn't win....although for some reason he keeps telling people he did. He must have gotten his faulty memory from me.

But, GUESS WHAT....Ihop is at it again....all you can eat pancakes for $4.99. Oh yeah, bring it on. And Noah has thrown down the guantlet and issued the challenge. If I would have had really good leather gloves, I would have answered by a gentle smack on his cheeks with my gloves in hand....but I don't. So instead I said, BRING IT ON.

As a family we went to Ihop, and Savannah, who was being sneaky, sneaky entered the challenge.

Plate One: Savannah and Mom in record time. Noah doused his with diet coke and ate them. I don't know why either.

Plate Two: Savannah and Mom, record time again. Noah...two bites and a "I was only kidding. I don't know why you would think I would actually have a pancake eating contest." Which was answered with "I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS" (Better Off Dead anyone?), and he said no because it wasn't real. I told him that I would forgo the two dollars in exchange for his announcement that I was the pancake queen. He tried "You are the pancake fool for thinking it was a real contest", so I doubled it to 4 bucks....don't mess with me. He dropped his head and softly announced, "You are the pancake queen." I made him do it louder.

Plate Three: Mom record time. Okay....get over it. I like pancakes...A LOT. And just to mess with my kids, I might have them for dinner. Savannah managed to make it through her third plate...barely. There were complaints of "I have a headache, pancakes might make it worse." And with each bite, the fork move ever more slowly to her mouth.

Plate Four: Mom. Easily. Savannah finally put her forehead on the table and said, "You are the pancake queen." DUH.

Lessons Learned
1. 4 plates was nothing. The record at the Ihop is 7, I may have to go back in while they are still doing all you can eat.
2. I could have kept going, but I didn't want to embarrass Felix. I can eat him under the table...and apparently I can do the same to my kids.
3. There is a trick to eating pancakes without filling up. I have shared it with very few....
4. There is never a bad time for family bonding over pancakes.
5. Who is up for the challenge?

What a Week....Oh Wait It's Only Tuesday

2010-10-13T18:36:00.001-06:00

It has been a year in a span of days. And there is some drama involved...but let me just say, if we can laugh about it, so can you. I don't want to hear about any "Oh, I'm so sorry..." or "It's always something with you..." or anything like that....cuz you know what...there is always something going on for everyone...mine just happens to be fluorescent purple.

MONDAY - Baylee had one of her checkups for her eyes and things are not as good as they hoped. Not bad, certainly not terrible, but not as good as it should be. So the sweet and wonderful people at Primary Children's have extended an invitation for us to be there more often. Awwwwwwwwwww. That's so sweet. So we will get to do infusions more often...how often? I'd like to know myself.

Savannah had volleyball practice, so we had two quick trips to the rec center. Plus the usual homework, dinner, chores, so just another night. Or so we thought.....

As we were settling down the young 'uns for the night, Caleb runs in and says, well more like SCREAMS, "It was an accident, it was an accident...I'M NOT GROUNDED!!!!" Which for some odd reason begs the question, "WHAT was an accident?" Come to find out, he was washing his hands after going to the bathroom in the sink that drains slow and forgot to turn the water off. PLUMBING anyone? Yes, if you know me, you know that plumbing and I are ARCH ENEMIES.

As I wade though the one inch of water on my laundry room towels, round all of the walking Indians to find me dry towels I just had to laugh. Why? Because it was 10 o'clock at night, I was drench and so was one entire room of my house. Apparently, we needed a cleansing. No worries, it was all cleaned up and I was in bed by 11.

TUESDAY- Tuesday started out like it usually did, with 6:30 am piano lessons. Oh, don't start...it works for us and my kids get their afternoons. We rush home from piano, take the Jr. High kids to school, come home get everyone else ready, fit Baylee for crutches, fight about backpacks and get everyone out the door. PHEW.

I get some work done and head to the Kindergarten Christopher Columbus play. Caleb was AWESOME. He was a fabulous Columbus and 'faced his fears' (in his own words) and did fabulous. Right after that we made for my piano lesson, which had to be changed for Baylee's doctor appointment. So the kiddos get home from school, we attempt to get chores done, send Noah with the neighbor to Lacrosse warm ups and get ready to follow.

We made it to the game on time. Enjoyed a thoroughly exciting game. Jon took an amazing hit to the head, Tad was all over it and Noah tried twice to take the ball from his goal and score on the other team. He won the Most Improved Player award from the team and I AM SO PROUD of him.

We decided to take the munchkins out to dinner to celebrate the end of the season and had a fun dinner. Baylee was able to get around pretty good so we didn't have to take the crutches. SO NICE. We made it home and played s'more Lacrosse until Tad was picked up.

After that....things got a little nuts.

DISCLAIMER: All events in the next section happened within 5 minutes. I can't make this stuff up. Nobody is that good.

Baylee managed to make it to the basement even though her pain was increasing....she was doing okay, but the basement wouldn't have been my first choice. After about 20 minutes, she starting intercomming (read: SCREAMING) that her pain was horrible and couldn't stand up. Yeah, I saw that coming....but (and NO, I am NOT a cold-hearted mommy....much) she needed to make the attempt herself. After about 10 minutes I headed downstairs to help her. As I passed by the family room heading to the basement, I saw Noah laying on the floor.

He raised his head a fraction of an inch and weakly raised his arm in my direction and whispered, "Help me.....help me. I can't breathe." OOOOOHHHHHHH, he was in the middle of an asthma attack and on the verge of passing out. Whoops...I DIDN'T see that coming. So I grab the nebulizer, start a breathing treatment and tell Caleb to get his dad because Baylee had moved from screaming to wailing. Felix comes down completely perplexed by the scene in front of him. I rattled off instructions for him to get to Baylee because I couldn't leave Noah until was breathing normally.

Felix and Savannah went to Baylees aid, helped her up the stairs and started a bath so we could 'jet' her casts. (FYI: We put her casts in front the jets in the tub and flush them out). Noah was stable enough for me to leave, so Felix and I switched places.

As I was helping Baylee get her feet situated, Caleb came in and announced, "Hey I found this stuff in the couch and it tasted nasty, do you think water will help?"

Mom: What did you drink?
Caleb: I don't know but it was yucky.
Mom: Go get me the bottle.
Caleb: Can't I just have water?
Mom: No, go get me the bottle.
Caleb: FINE

He leaves in a huff and I hear him talking to Felix, but not about what he was supposed to. So I took my turn at the intercom and said, "Could somebody please see what Caleb had to drink so I know if I need to call poison control?" After a few loud, choice words from Felix I hear giggling. Then I hear some footsteps. Caleb and Felix walk into the room, and Felix tells Caleb to tell me what he said. Caleb promptly looks at me and says, "I told dad you are smarter than him because you are 38 and he is only 37."

REALLY?

Lessons Learned
1. Oh, by the way....Caleb drank a REALLY, REALLY old liquid sucker. It had at least another 100 years before it went bad.
2. I gotta stop saying "what else" out loud.
3. Children are a joy, an adventure and a few other choice words.
4. It could have been worse....but it wasn't. And when all was said and done, we laughed. We laughed long and hard.
5. I wouldn't change a thing.....except maybe containing my few choice words in my head.

You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry....

2010-10-11T14:17:00.000-06:00

This post does not paint me in the best light. I'm trying my very best to get over it....baby steps people, baby steps.

Before I 'officially' start, let me explain a few things. First, I'm not comfortable in my own skin....probably because it's too tight. Second, I have a horrible fear of being on the wrong side of the camera lens....kind of like my fear of people. Third, if I ask you a question....answer it....no games....unless I initiate them and am winning.

Noah had a Lacrosse game on Saturday, and as usual it was in Salt Lake. So we went and enjoyed the game (mostly...trying to contain Caleb has a tendency to make things difficult) and since we were all starving we decided to grab a bite to eat on our way home. Well, we were halfway between lunch and dinner so we decided to have linner or dunch (depending on where you are from).

We meandered our way to the freeway, perusing our many choices of eateries. The short people in the back seat kept saying how hungry they were so we went to Chuck-A-Rama...yay buffets, because there has to be something that everyone likes. We got there with 5 minutes to spare for the lunch rates, so it was a pretty good deal....except for the fact it was PACKED. I completely forgot it was Saturday in Mormonville...Football games, weddings, funerals....beyond nuts and we all know that Mormons can't have an activity without food, and Chuck-A-Rama was it.

So it took forever but we filled up our plates, got settled and began chowing down. While I was out getting my food, Felix began exploring the features of my new phone....more specifically the retro camera app. I'm guessing while I was gone that Felix enjoyed taking pictures of each of the kids. They don't care if they have a mouthful of food, they were all muggin' for the camera.

I sat down and what does my husband do.....he takes my picture. That was dumb.

Few minutes later he is typing away. I ask him what he is doing and he won't answer. That was dumb too.

We finish eating and head to the car, all the while I am pestering the heck out of him to find out what he did with the picture. While we are on the freeway he finally 'fesses up and admits that he posted it to facebook and it was funny. Why was it funny? I captioned it, "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

So what do I do? COMPLETELY FLIP OUT. DUH. Not only does he take my picture, he posts it where it will stay in cyber-space for like EVER and then he compares me to a large, green man. Let me just say, it was not my dear husbands day.

As I go ON and ON and ON and ON about him calling me fat and green, he really did protest that it was a cute picture and I was giving him a dirty look, hence the caption. SO....fat and green....REALLY? Now men, you may not be able to draw the same conclusion that I did, but women....you did and that is all that really matters.

Once we got home, he removed the post from Facebook....smart move. It is two days later and I should probably stop telling him to "Post it on Facebook". Just a thought.

Lessons Learned
1. DON'T take my picture and post it online. NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo.
2. My poor husband inadvertently bit off more than he could chew...but after 16 years (almost) you would think he would know better.
3. One day I might find all of my neuroses....but there aren't enough therapists int he world to treat them all.
4. I should really roll with things better.
5. This is as close to an apology as he is gonna get....hope it works.

KISS Me Baby

2010-10-05T10:00:00.001-06:00

This is somewhat over due, but hey, better late than never.

Felix and I went to the Kiss concert on September 22. Nope, not a fan (okay, one of my guilty pleasures is Gene Simmons Family Jewels). I hate concert settings because 1) People scare me. 2) Drunk people scare me even more 3) What if someone touches me? 4) What if there is a fight by me? 5) What if something happens and I get locked inside the stadium and everyone is gone and I'm alone in the dark?

You know what....let's just leave my neuroses alone and move onto the concert. But as a side note, why would I go? Easy, I would rather be a part of my husband's midlife crisis than not.

We rode up with some friends (YAY Tjay and Christy) and of course had to be early (so I could find all of the escape routes while it was empty.

We wandered around, did the whole bathroom thing and found our seats. Unfortunately we were in a different section than our friends...but I had to get settled early. We were in section AA, row 15....which in simple terms means, we were by all of the scary people.

So I did what I always do during the opening acts. I made fun of them. I honest and truly have no idea if the bands were good....I couldn't take them seriously because they were all in skinny jeans. Really, really skinny jeans. Honestly, go have a cupcake or something.

So as it got closer to concert time....and as I delved deeper into my people watching....I decided I needed to get me some of these boots. The whole front was studded too, but I couldn't get a picture without looking like a wacko.

We knew it was getting close when the Kiss curtain dropped. Buh, buh, bummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

And then they made their grand entrance onto the stage. Lots of smoke, light and DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA. I really have to say one thing about Kiss. Whether you like their music or not....they put on a great show. And to be fair....it was really a clean show. No nakedness, swearing....just a lot of people who imbibed and LOVE IT.

So you can see the grand entrance for yourself and look who made it into the picture....my favorite aisle nazi. Ooooooohhhhhhhhh, HE MADE ME SO MAD. And for the love of Pete....be fair. Breathe....I'll get to that part of the story in a moment.

Like I said, it was an amazing show to watch. But me being who I am didn't exactly watch the show. I watched the people. I really, really enjoyed the Indian woman in front of us....like from India, not Native American who was there with her teenage son. In fact, in a large portion of my pictures you can see her head, arm or camera. During the entire length of the concert, her son stood by her side, with the hood of his sweatshirt pulled over his head, while she rocked out like a crazy woman. It was fascinating to see.

Then of course, there were all of the people trying to sit someplace other than their own seats, which is how the incredibly drunk people with their daughter ended up pushing us out of our seats into the aisle. Now Mr. Aisle Nazi put them there, and then made us stand in the aisle. Ya NIT....

But the best part of having an aisle seat was watching the surgically enhance blonde woman hit on every single security guard to try and get to the front row (which was cordoned off so people like her couldn't get there). After about an hour and twenty attempts of her slobbering on men they kicked her and her husband out....you know...the guy that paid for her 2.0 enhancements. Also in the aisle, was EXTREMELY drunk zebra pants guy that would jump and spin through the aisle until Aisle Nazi put him back in his seat. All in all it was pretty freaking funny.

I was able to get several amazing shots of the entire band together...which Felix is pretty exited about....I'm probably going to have to scrapbook it or something for him....YUCK. I'm really hoping that he will settle for our T-shirt, tickets and maybe one photo to be framed for the guitar room wall. We'll see.

The most amazing part of the concert was coming up. From watching Family Jewels, I knew Gene Simmons was incredibly involved with charity work for soldiers and veterans. After the main set, the band said they wouldn't continue the show unless the ENTIRE crowd rose and recited the Pledge of Allegiance. They kept UNDER GOD in there and everything. After the pledge, they had soldiers come up and hold a check, where they donated over $450,000 to the Wounded Warriors Organization. A charitable organization that helps wounded vets get back on their feet. It was amazing to watch

and see. I felt an overwhelming sense of pride to be at a Kiss concert....I know that sounds weird, but these are incredibly patriotic men who give a little bit of their time and money to the men and women who have given EVERYTHING to protect me, my rights and freedoms and this blessed nation. I was extremely touched to be at a rock concert where they stopped everything to honor the true heroes of our world.....the soldiers.

The concert went on, and the last two songs were like the only two I had ever heard before. God Gave Rock and Roll to Us and Rock and Roll All Night.

Now my dear sweet husband....who loves me in spite of my wacko, knew that I would recognize God Gave Rock and Roll to Us from Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure. I did surprise him though, by yelling out "WYLD STALLYNS"...it was okay....all the drunk people that I was just one of them. We enjoyed Rock and Roll All Nights....collected pieces of confetti to give to the kids and booked the heck out of dodge.

It was a good show. Much better than I expected....and next on the list is Heart in November. The Morgans Concert Tour is continuing.

Lessons Learned

1. People still scare me. But I am learning some FABULOUS defensive stances.

2. I have respect for Kiss as people...not musicians....I'm just not there yet (nor do I want to be).

3. I love saying the Pledge of Allegiance. I could probably use that as a method to get over my whole scared of people thing.

4. Fake blood and fire and really cool in concerts. Good mix. Kind of like Deadliest Warrior - Live and in person.

5. I've gotta gear up for Heart....it's indoors, I won't have the sky to save me this time.

No Regrets

2010-10-01T08:37:00.000-06:00

**I've received this a couple of times in email, and maybe it's been the events of the past few weeks but I was really touched this morning and needed to share.

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being..

She said, 'Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?'

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, 'Of course you may!' and she gave me a giant squeeze..

'Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?' I asked.

She jokingly replied, 'I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids...'

'No seriously,' I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

'I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!' she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this 'time machine' as she shared her wisdom and experience with me..

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, 'I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.'

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ' We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody! Can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets..'

She concluded her speech by courageously singing 'The Rose.'

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those months ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

Lessons Learned (again)
1. It's okay to play in the rain.
2. It's okay to have joy.
3. It's okay to make the best of every situation, and Pollyanna-up.
4. It's okay to admit I don't know it all and can't do it all....BECAUSE I'M NOT DEAD YET, there's still time.
5. It's okay to love freely with no expectations of anything in return.

I WANT TO LIVE WITH NO REGRETS and make the most of this wonderful adventure I'm on.

WE THE PEOPLE

2010-09-30T11:37:00.004-06:00

Councilmember(s),

I attended the public hearing the other night, and admittedly went in and came out frustrated regarding the proposed increase in our utility rates. Unfortunately, my intense fear of public speaking prevented me from making any comments. That said, I would like to offer a few suggestions related to the proposed increase and the meeting in general.

I would first like to address the communication issue. I believe more could have been done to inform the citizens. Looking at the newer design of the city web page, I do not understand how and/or why the web master has not set up an electronic newsletter registry. With technology being where it is today, I find it incomprehensible that our city has not kept up with the times. Email, texting, Facebook, etc. are all viable options for communication. From personal experience, it takes less than 3 minutes to set up a Facebook group or Twitter account. I am not technologically savvy, yet even I can do this in a minimal amount of time. I would like to encourage you to set a Facebook account, Twitter account and electronic newsletter IMMEDIATELY. It will be well worth the 5 minutes it takes.

**As a side note to the communication issue, I believe you need to be aware that when I called to confirm the location and time of the hearing on Tuesday night the person that answered the phone did not know. She had me hold while she looked up the information. I find it difficult to believe that information is being actively passed on to citizens when city employees are unaware.

I would next like to address the thoughts regarding amenities. I believe the individual that spoke regarding closing down every amenity, had an interesting idea. Personally, I think total shut down is extreme, in his defense Councilman Jensen initially brought up the idea with the city library in his response to another comment. However, I wish to propose for consideration the possible of modified/limited hours in regards to city amenities. Many governments are already having 4 day weeks or shorter daily hours. I propose the same type of structure for our library, recreation center, golf course, etc. during this economically challenging time. I believe there is middle ground that will help the city and allow for continued availability of some of the resources that make Pleasant Grove great. Unless we are willing to compromise, be creative and think outside of the box we will all lose in this situation.

Finally, I wish to address the issue of the proposed funds for land purchases. During the comment session, Steve gave information that the Sewer/Drainage (?) Fund (it may have been called something else) has been completely utilized to purchase land. Yet, in the initial presentation, he discussed the proposed monies for future land purchases. While we are facing such a large increase, I believe the land purchases can be completely set aside. Not permanently, but short term. We know we already have land set aside, rather than plan on $7 million that will worsen an already frustrating situation, I believe we should set it aside for now and revisit it on an annual or semi-annual basis. Again, I urge you to be more creative and flexible in thinking of solutions. Land purchases are NOT a now or never choice. Recent reports from economists indicate we will have at the very least a very slow recovery, if not a double-dip recession. Consider these facts before you decide to spend money we don’t have.

The majority of you are not first time council members. Do not act as such. Taking a single recommendation is unheard of when looking at a rate increase of this magnitude. GET A SECOND OPINION. With only a single report to garner information from, it appears to be a mandate, rather than a recommendation.

WE THE PEOPLE are watching and are questioning motivations, qualifications and competency. You have within your power, the ability to give us something to believe in.

I know your job is difficult. I know you won’t please everyone. Before you make your final decision and take a vote that will affect every member of our community, be aware that there are options. We live in an amazing city with talented, intelligent and creative individuals. WE THE PEOPLE are the greatest single resource you have at your disposal. Consider a second public hearing, with every possible method of communication to inform the citizens, and use your resources.

Thank you,

Wendy Morgan

RESPONSES FROM COUNCILMEMBERS:

First Response was from CINDY BOYD:

Thank you for emailing us with your concerns and suggestions. We do appreciate the public suggestions and we are trying to answer and consider them all.

Just yesterday we now have a twitter account. I have not checked it yet, but I do know that it is up and running and we are looking at facebook and group email.

In the meantime, I will be sending out all agenda's and information that I can till an email group list is created. Your idea of making the website available for electronic newsletter is great. We will be discussing that as a council.

I apologize for the lack of knowledge by one of our employees. We will also address that.

We are having further discussion regarding the amenities and other suggestions this Tuesday night and then there will be another public hearing.

Again let me thank you for your attendance and your suggestions.

Thank, Cindy Boyd

Second Response was from Val Danklef:

Thank you for your comments. I agree that we have not done everything possible. I spent yesterday researching costs and why we are so far underfunded for water. I will be making some suggestions Tuesday night on that issue. I have also concluded that bonding for the purchase of additional land for storm drains is not acceptable, and will propose we not do so. Others have offered suggestions on communications, and we will look at it very closely. I voted against the budget this year, and still feel we could address what I think are weaknesses in that area, and have ask that our staff be prepared for some cuts to help. Thank you.

Third Response was from Lee Jensen:

Thanks for your email. I appreciate hearing from you about your thoughts and ideas relative to the city. A couple of responses seem in order. First, the city has already proceeded to open both a Facebook and Twitter account.

Since I don't personally use either, I'm the least familiar with how it all works. But they are available, and as I understand it, available now. There has also been talk of RSS accounts that those who are interested can enroll in.

As far as the location of the meeting, it was announced last week, and was posted on the city website. I don't know who it was that you spoke with so I can't explain why that person didn't know the location. Fortunately it sounds like she was able to get the address to you, so that is good!

We can look at your idea of 'modified hours' as a possible savings. However, and not discounting your idea, the savings of what you are proposing probably wouldn't amount any real savings as the increase in utility rates is not a function of a few thousand here or a few there. We are talking about millions here and millions there. But I will take this forward as I have already expressed that I believe we need to look at EVER option to save, including difficult cuts to the budget.

My response to Lee Jensen:

Thanks for your quick response. I thought I would just let you know that Pleasant Grove does NOT have a Facebook account (I just did a thorough search). I appreciate the idea of an RSS feed, that would be a great way to communicate with all of us.

Just a quick response to the modified hours thought. Small savings from many sources add up. Please don't discount the idea quite yet. It is possible combined with other ideas, the total may be more significant than at first glance.

Thank you for your communication, it gives me hope.

Wendy

Fourth Response was from Kim Robinson:

Thank you Wendy for taking the time to get involved. My desire is to encourage as many citizens as possible to do the same. Getting the word out has presented a challenge and the staff and council are willing to look at any and all suggestions. Increasing our involvement in social media is a great opportunity to reach the masses. It has been presented at previous council meeting, without urgency. I believe the fuel is available for that flame now. I want you to know we are looking at every, and all possible solutions to this difficult situation. "The People" is why I got involved.

With regards,

Kim Robinson

Post Script: I still have yet to hear from one council member. Make your own judgements as to who has any idea of what the hud is going on. I've made mine, and I will likely do everything I can to keep them from coming back.

News in 30

2010-09-27T10:45:00.000-06:00

iHave Options: It looks like the iPad is going to have competition. Four different tablets are looking to be released in time for the holiday season. One is already on the market.

Samsung is releasing the Galaxy Tab, which is similar to a traditional tablet. The seven inch touch screen has a 1024 x 600 resolution LCD. The Galaxy Tab will also make phone calls, as well as having cameras on both the front and back for video chatting. The Galaxy Tab will work on the Android platform and is being picked up by all four major carriers, Verizon, AT&T, Sprint and T-Mobile.

Dell has just released the Streak. With only a 5 inch touch screen, there is debate over whether or not this can be considered a tablet. It makes phone calls, but is too large to comfortably hold by the ear. The streak has a fast processor, GPS and 5 megapixel camera. It is also works on the Android platform, but is only available through AT&T.

Research in Motion is releasing an unnamed tablet by the end of the year (known as the ‘Blackpad’ by techies). It will only be able to connect to 3G through a Blackberry device, and will not run on the new Blackberry 6 OS. It is unknown which network this device will be aligned with.

Lenovo showed their pad prototype, the ‘IdeaPad U1 Hybrid’. The unique tablet was a detachable tablet that could attach to a case with a keyboard. The Lenovo tablet is supposed to run on a Linux based OS. In May Lenovo made an announcement that its original prototype was not worth of market release. They scrapped the entire project and started over. The new tablet, the LePad will have a 10.1 inch touch screen and is slated for release in China in December. No word yet on a U.S. release.

Editors Note: CHOICES…There are finally CHOICES. YAY.

People Talk Back: After the announcement the recession had ended in June of 2009, pollsters went and asked the people what they thought.

General polls indicate the majority of Americans feel that the recession is still going on. 74% believe that the recession is serious and the economy is not improving. Only 25% of those polled feel that the economy is on the road to recovery.

The Administration is continuing to defend its position that the economy is improving. President Obama stated that, “Obviously, for the millions of people who are still out of work, people who have seen their home values decline, people who are struggling to pay the bills day to day, the recession is still very real for them.”

Editors Note: Anyone that is feeling it is going to say the recession is still going on. While things are still frustrating, the very best thing we could do is support one another and discover the lessons a bad economy can teach us.

Dear Mr. President

2010-09-20T16:45:00.000-06:00

Dear Mr. President,

I've had a long couple of days, weeks, months, okay, let's be honest here...years. I'm am writing this letter in an open forum because, quite frankly, even if I emailed you, mailed you, twittered, texted or any other method of communication, I know it would be received by someone else, vetted and disappear into the circular file of oblivion. Honestly, I need to get this out of my head so I can focus on more important things.

I've been watching. Not just you, but everyone. I was bitter after the election because I didn't believe in the type of change you've had to offer. I realize that our nation has been on a downward spiral for years. Unfortunately, it would appear that we have come to a time of decision, about who we were, who we are and who we are going to be.

Mr. President, I don't believe you are equipped to deal with the uncertainty sitting in your lap. I don't blame you for the state of affairs that we are dealing with, but I do blame you for other things.

I blame you for apologizing to the world for our nation. We aren't perfect, I readily admit that. However, we have nothing to apologize for. We have the right and obligation to uphold and protect the freedoms, liberties and rights set forth on this hallowed ground by individuals who shed blood and tears to give them to us. We need remember who is against us and treat them accordingly.

I blame you for slowly, yet deliberately, increasing the size of government. The more of YOU there are, the less there are of ME. I don't want more legislation. I want the laws on the books to be enforced. It doesn't take more government to do that, but a more efficient government. Stop hiring individuals who don't pay they're own taxes to regulate mine. Stop supporting individuals who don't even read the bills they are shoving down our throats.

I blame you for over-regulation. Do we really need Government Motors? Do we really need a new czar for every aspect of our lives? I don't need a new Consumer Affairs person, as a consumer and a citizen of this nation, I need to be responsible for my own choices. I need to deal with the consequences, or I will not learn. Let us choose. Let the market solve its' own problems....look at history, it has done it before and WILL do it again. Stop encouraging the bad behavior of corporate America through bailouts and funding that will never solve the problem, only encourage more of the same.

I blame you for keeping me up at night worrying about healthcare for my family. I believe that everybody should have basic care. I don't believe that my family should suffer for it. I have a chronically ill child, and I lay awake at night worrying about how I am going to pay for my own insurance after I am done paying for everyone else's. Middle class America is footing the bill on this one. The GAO has even publically come out with their findings that it won't be a self-sufficient as touted. Mr. President, how am I going to take care of MY child?

I blame you for spending more time on TV than any other sitting President. I would have more confidence in the job you are doing, if you weren't constantly on TV telling me what you were doing INSTEAD of doing it.

I blame you for talking out of both sides of your mouth. I wish I could believe you. I really do. Unfortunately, I can't. The economy is not improving, your stimulus hasn't worked. My grandchildren will be paying for that, literally. It is hard for me to have faith in someone that only gives interviews to networks that support his agenda. Wouldn't it speak more highly of your integrity if you talked to everyone, including those who disagree? Help me understand what you are trying to accomplish, instead of telling me that you know what is best for me and you are going to make it happen.

I blame you for lots of things. But to be fair, I blame your predecessors for lots of things too. I don't believe that you are solely responsible for what is going on in this country, but I do believe that you have the power to make things better.

I want you to do well, and you can, if you choose to. I beg of you to stop regulating my life and the lives of everyone in this nation. We could be so much stronger if we were to band together and help those who CAN'T, instead of encouraging and empowing those who WON'T. Let us learn from our mistakes, instead of having them swept under the rug and taken care of by someone else. I WANT TO LEARN. I NEED TO LEARN.

Our nation was founded on freedom and responsibility. Part of responsibility is dealing with the consequences of our choices, good or bad. If you take away our responsibility, our freedom will go with it. Don't take away what I am fighting for. Please.

Taco Night

2010-09-02T17:36:00.001-06:00

So this is one of my gross posts. Admit it, you like it....kind of like the grosser than gross jokes. Yeah, you've heard 'em...don't deny it.

So Tuesday night we had tacos for dinner. It had been a long day (so what else is new), and I needed something simple and fast. In my rush to prepare my gourmet feast, I overseasoned...just a smidge. I have a very sensitive tongue and the slightest over seasoning will be felt for hours.

We had dinner, made it through the rest of the night. Kids in bed, mommy in bed, ambien in the mommy, it was all set to be a good night.

About 2 in the morning I woke up to the horrific taste of vomit in my mouth, coughing and sputtering and seemingly unable to breathe. After I heimliched myself (not really, just throwing myself upright seemed to do the trick), I was able to get enough air to start coughing, choking and waking my husband who wanted to know if he had to drive me to the hospital. Since the answer was no, he dozed back off. That's okay....I couldn't believe I managed to throw up and inhale it in one incredibly smooooooooooth move.

I ended up coughing taco meat out of my lung for a couple of solid hours, then pretty much most of the next day. At the urging of my husband, I made a doctor appointment to make sure there wasn't any offending meat left inside my super important oxygen supplier.

After a series of x-rays this morning, I was given the all clear. Kind of. I am on pneumonia watch because of breathing a foreign substance into my lung (that is what happens when you aspirate [as-per-ate: fancy word for DOH]).

However, as the doctor managed to choke out, through his bursts of laughter, my chest is probably going to hurt for quite some time thanks to the taco seasoning.

Lessons Learned
1. Taco seasoning is PAINFUL.
2. Ambien does have down side.
3. It's a gift. I truly have a gift for the unusual.
4. Noah wanted to know if I was going to grow tacos in my lung (thanks to that guy that inhaled a green bean, pea or whatever that decided to sprout in his lung)
5. It couldn't be chicken noodle soup night, could it? OH NO, it HAD to be taco night. Really.

When Mixers Attack

2010-08-15T09:30:00.001-06:00

Some people, okay I'll admit it....mostly girls, talk with their hands. I am a HUGE hand talker and my girls have absolutely followed suit.

Baylee had a cute little friend over the other day and I thought they could make cookies. In order to avoid the mess I would absolutely have to clean up, I gave them a mix to use instead of having them start from scratch. They read the instructions, got everything in the bowl and then I hear...."Mom, I don't get it. I need your help." Really?

So I trudge into the kitchen....kind of dejected like because I am trying not to make cookies. As Baylee is asking me her question, she has the hand mixer in one hand and is gesturing wildly with the other.

Halfway through her sentence, she accidentally turns the mixer on. It grabs the side of her hand and works its way through her wrist and halfway up her forearm before she can turn it off.

She looks at me.

I look at her.

She screams.

I laugh.

I try to remove it, but it is stuck fast. At which point, she panics and hits the pulse button, and the mixer moves even further up her arm. She screams louder, then I start to panic.

With my killer mama bear instincts, and my incredibly strong physique, I grab the beaters and pull them off of her arm, rescuing her from the bite of the wild mixer. I wrestled the beaters to the sink where I disposed of them, and drown them (it had to be done...they had blood on them....ewwwwwww). No longer will anyone in my home have to fear an unprovoked attack from that household kitchen appliance.

We patched Baylee up and sent her on her way. Slightly scraped, bruised and beaten (get it? beaten.), she is well on her way to recovery, having learned don't mess with the mixer.

Lessons Learned
1. DON'T TALK WITH YOUR HANDS WHILE COOKING
2. Don't laugh when mixers attack.
3. Mama bear instincts work for this kind of thing too.
4. She's still mad at me for laughing.
5. I really loved that mixer....I wonder why it went on the rampage?

Learning to Dance in the Rain

2010-07-27T08:24:00.000-06:00

This may be a little sappy...sorry up front.

Life the past few months has been a little stressful. No, I won't be going into detail because I still don't have definitive answers....just more questions. So there is really no point in discussing that which is floating about.

Anyhoo, needless to say, I have been more than stressed and so has the fam. One of my favorite quotes is:

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass,

but about learning to dance in the rain.

Yesterday, we had a wonderful summer storm. And most importantly, with no lightening, which meant we could all play in the rain. The kids, except for Noah, all enjoyed the umbrellas and trying to dart through the pelting rain drops while I sat on the porch taking pictures.

While I was sitting there, I had one of my famous moments of reflection that resulted in a personal epiphany. Yeah, it was an AH-HA moment. I was watching the kids and smiling, like most parents do, when I had to ask myself, when was the last time I got off of the sidelines and jumped in and laughed?

So after the kids used the basketball hoop to block the gutter and create a pond, I jumped in. Literally. And we laughed, and we played, and we jumped in puddles. I had one neighbor yelling out the window about what a nut I was (DUH) and another on her porch asking me if I had been stressed much...Ummmm, yeah. And while I laughed with my neighbors and at my soaking wet children I decided, there are a lot worse things than running in the rain, jumping in the puddles or being soaking wet for the entire world to see.

So we stayed out and played for about an hour, kicking water at each other, catching raindrops in our mouths and giggling to our hearts content. Not only did we play, we danced, enjoyed and just let our hearts soar.

It's so easy to turn a blind eye to the miracles that surround us every day. Especially, when you are wrapped up in a stressful situation. But when you open your eyes, and your heart, you realize, God hasn't forgotten you, He's been sending the blessings, it's more likely you haven't been watching for them.

Yesterdays rain storm was my miracle.

Lessons Learned

1. Laughter cleanses the soul.

2. Watching children be happy...well sometimes there are no words.

3. Being a part of what makes your children happy...there are definitely no words.

4. Being surrounded by darkness, only makes the light that much more sweet.

5. Size doesn't matter when it comes to miracles.

Quote of the Day

2010-07-19T16:46:00.000-06:00

Caleb - "Mom, mom, go get me something to eat."
Mom - "Why? Are you hungry?"
Caleb - "No, but my subconscious is. Kind of like the ghost of my former self needs something to eat."

Lessons Learned
1. When I was 5, the correct answer was "Yes, I am hungry."
2. Maybe I should talk with my children with a little bit less of a vocabulary.
3. It really was just a simple question.
4. Did my 5 year old really say 'subconscious'?
5. Oy.

OH NO....HO'S ARE EVERYWHERE

2010-07-09T08:49:00.000-06:00

Sometimes a conversation can go horribly wrong. See if you can tell when it happened.

Savannah: Mom I love this 'artist' (to remain nameless), isn't he awesome.
Mom: I don't think so.
Savannah: Why not?
Mom: Because he's a wifebeater and he does drugs and he's been in rehab several times and I don't look up to him.
Savannah: Oh.
Mom: Any questions.
Savannah: No.
Mom: Look I'm not going to be one of those moms that tries to be careful about what I try and teach you. Smoking is wrong, drinking is wrong, sleeping around is wrong.
Noah: Hey that sounds like me...I already sleep around.
Mom: No Noah, not what I meant. I don't mean sleep around the couch, I mean sleep ARRROOOUUUUNNNDD.
Noah: But I sleep ARRROOOOUUUUUNNDD.
Mom: No Noah, I mean having sex with a whole bunch of people and acting like a ho.
Noah: What's a Ho?
Savannah: That's mom's favorite word.
Noah: Is that why Santa says HO HO HO?
Mom: No Noah, it isn't.
Noah: Can I call people that bug me HO's?
Mom: NO
Caleb: Grandma's a HO.
Mom: Caleb we don't say that.
Caleb: Baylee's a HO.
Noah: HO HO HO
Caleb: Everbody's a HO.
Mom: Nobody is a HO. I don't know when it happened. But this conversation took a terrible turn for the worse.

Lessons Learned
1. Those conversations need to be planned a smidge in advance.
2. If you happened to get called a HO from one of my kids, I apologize.
3. FYI Grandma is NOT a HO.
4. Nobody is a HO....except maybe for people who act that way...and there weren't any in the car or any that we are related to.
5. Christmas will never be the same.

Crazy, Stranger, Oriental Porn Linking Weirdos

2010-06-16T10:54:00.000-06:00

So, we have reached a new pinnacle in the blogsphere. I have gotten so many comments from crazy, stranger, oriental porn linking weirdos that I have been forced into comment moderation.

I am a huge believer in the First Amendment, having a dialogue and telling it how it is. But...this is a family friendly blog and your crazy, porn links don't have anything to do with what I'm talking about. Which brings up another point. Since this blog is all about me, and since I'm not into porn...we are going to say bye-bye.

Please continue to comment, cuz I think you people are fun...when you comment about the blog and things that are actually related to me.

Lessons Learned
1. I can't control everything....YES I CAN.
2. Crazy, stranger, oriental porn linking weirdos....you suck.
3. Oh and those mentioned in number 2...thanks for making my life just that much more difficult.
4. That's okay....I'm a pain in the neck and I am going to make your life a little more difficult too by giving you one less blog to hijack.
5. So there.

I LOVE YOU....I'LL DANCE WITH YOU

2010-06-11T08:08:00.000-06:00

As mentioned previously we went to the Kansas, Foreigner, Styx concert. We took with us Savannah, Noah, Baylee and Sara (Sara officially belongs to another family, but I claim her as my own).

Each child had their own little experience that made the show stand out for them, so I thought I would share the love. The best part though, was introducing our children to reality with us watching. Yes, people do drink. Yes, people do smoke. Yes, people do things that we don't. And it is okay, because they can choose...and more importantly, we don't judge. That said, it was an eye opener for everyone.

Baylee: Baylee couldn't wait for Foreigner to come on because she wanted to hear Juicebox hero. After we explained it was Jukebox hero, she was a bit disappointment, but made it up to herself by making up words to Jukebox hero as if it were really Juicebox hero...that kids has got some creativity in her bones.

Noah: Poor Noah. He was actually okay with the drinking part until the older women started rocking out and shaking their tushies in his sweet little 10 year old face. So he moved. Okay, before he moved, he leaned over and sat as close to Savannah as she would allow, then he moved. So he was sitting on the grass side obsessing about somebody starting a fire because they didn't step on their cigarette butts when they through them in the grass. Poor kid...got my OCD.

Savannah and Sara: I have to combine them because it really is all part of the same story. During Foreigners "I Wanna Know What Love Is", Savannah and Sara were being true to their age, dancing with another and having a marvelous time about it. As they slow danced with one another, they were kind of blocking the aisle...if you can call it an aisle...we were general admission sitting in the grass. So I kindly asked them to break up the love fest and let people through. As the couple that had been waiting walked through, while the girls were giggling about dancing with one another we were chuckling about what a good time we were all having. Then out of nowhere, the lady comes back (with her 24 oz beer can in hand...and I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it wasn't her first of the night.), and hugs Savannah from behind, so her beer can was in Savannah's face and she says, "I love you...I'll dance with you." Sara deftly stepped away while Felix and I dissolved into a fit of laughter. My good girl used her manners and didn't throw the woman off of her. When the lady was done dancing with Savannah she went back to her seat. Savannah looked as us and was like, "WHAT?" Okay, we thought it was hysterical for many reasons. Sara knew Savannah could handle it, so she let her. Felix and I let Savannah handle it. Noah and Baylee are still shocked there was a beer can in her face. But the punch line comes later when during Styx's performance...they came back. This time the guy grabs Sara's arm and says, "I won't let her dance with you anymore." Ummmm, dude....wrong girl.

Lessons Learned
1. Sheltered children NEED a little exposure.
2. If you can get beer in a 24 oz can, why can't I get a Caffeine free Diet Coke in anything bigger than a 20 oz bottle or go to the fountain? What's up with that?
3. Kansas, Foreigner and Styx think very, very highly of their merchandise.
4. The kids survived...barely...it took Noah's asthma a week to recover from the smoke...poor kid.
5. I'd take them again....it's good to see the other side and learn that everyone has a choice.

Holy Cow

2010-05-30T15:33:00.000-06:00

On our way to the Kansas, Foreigner and Styx concert Saturday night, we drove by fields full of cows. Most would complain of the smell...in our car the conversation had a few of these components.

1) Do you know that cows are producing so much methane there is a hole in the ozone layer? So do we kill all of the cows and not eat beef?
2) Felix: Holy Cow Noah: Cows aren't holy. Wendy: They are if you shoot them. Baylee: Is that where Holy Crap comes from?

You know, I was really going to post more, but as I was typing I realized we spend at least 30 minutes on the Holy Cow/Holy Crap relationship.

Lessons Learned
1. Driving in a car with my family for more than 15 minutes can cause concerning conversation.
2. They didn't start fighting until after 30 minutes...I think it's a record.
3. Thank goodness for the cows....it broke up the fight.
4. The miller sportspart is GI-NOR-MOUS.
5. I still think Holy Crap comes from Holy Cows.

Dumb Waiter (and NOT the Elevator Kind)

2010-05-25T14:56:00.000-06:00

So I made a post on Facebook saying (more or less) the exact title of this post. I told the story to someone last night and she agreed it needed to go on the blog.

We haven't eaten out much lately, largely due to the food allergy issue floating through our house. And because I think my kids need to understand eating out is a privilege....NOT a right. But that is a story for another time and place.

So we go out to eat at a popular eating establishment (across the street from Los Hermanos in Lindon) that serves pizza and pasta, but shall remain nameless. We sit down and wait a while for our server. By the time he shows up we aren't just ready to order drinks, we wants us some fooooood. Three of us did salad bars, so we went and ate right away. And then we waited some more. He came back after a while...a long, long while with waters all around. And the explanation that there was a broken water main and there was no soda. OK fine. Where's the food?

After another long wait, the food comes and the server offers to discount our meal for not having soda...whatever. I always drink water anyways...so it really wasn't a big deal to me. The food finally showed up and the server said half the drinks are working, so he brought a few out....not what we had ordered, but ok.

As per the norm, Caleb starts going nuts, wants to leave...Baylee joins the bandwagon...and Savannah and Noah try to light the bandwagon on fire. The bill comes and I handed the server my debit card without looking at the bill...not the best idea, but have you met my kids?

The bill comes back and I realized we were charged for an extra meal. Okay, then there was a discount, but the discount didn't really matter anymore because it was eaten up by the extra meal that NOBODY ordered. So since the kidlets were restless, I sent everyone to the car, and I waited to let the waiter know.

Now, while our waiter took his time between visits during the meal, I could see him flittin' around here and there. Always movin' around. Funny, I get my bill and apparently he was either abducted by aliens or a giant sinkhole opened up where the water main was and sucked our poor little waiter away.

I waited....for fifteen minutes. Finally, realizing the children were trapped in the car with Felix and great grandma and I knew I had to abandon my post. So I left less than a normal tip....k, this had nothing to do with the soda...it had to do with the suspicious disappearing act when I received my inflated discounted bill. I still left a tip, but not what I normally would have. Then, because I am who I am, I left a note on the bill that I had been overcharged. Feeling somewhat vindicated...I left.

As I was leaving the hostesses (yes, there were 2) I was asked (twice) how my meal was...I replied it was fine except for the part where I was overcharged. Let me remind you...there were TWO of them (2). And in unison...that perhaps had been rehearsed...they replied, "Okay have a good night, come again."

As I shook my head and walked out the double doors, out of the corner of my eye, my waiter handed my bill to the hostesses, saw me and took off around the corner. Do you think he knew something was afoot?

Lessons Learned
1. Check the bill BEFORE you pay....even when your kids are flipping out.
2. If you have money to throw away....just walk out and keep your mouth shut.
3. If you DON'T have money to throw away, say something and don't shut up until the situation is rectified.
4. I really like pizza and pasta, I wonder if I will ever go there again or if I will have to frequent another establishment.
5. Hmmmm....dumb waiter....he totally knew the bill was wrong and he was playing hide and seek hoping to get away with it. That's okay...I just talked to the manager of the eating establishment....there are at least 2 hostesses who got busted down and I'll bet it took very little torture before they gave up the waiter to THE MAN. Victory is mine.

Why?

2010-05-24T14:12:00.000-06:00

I love my kids...but they (on occassion) talk too much. Caleb in particular. I think since he has 3 very vocal siblings...he has to get what he can while they aren't around. This is just from one day. ONE DAY.

"Why are we here?"
"Why do we have ears?"
"Why do we swallow?"
"Can I stop swallowing?"
"What if somebody killed Jesus and he stayed dead?"
"What if somebody killed me and I stayed dead?"
"When you die, can I have the house?"
"Why do you say in a minute?"
"What if I want it now?"
"Did you see that? Me neither."
"Why can't I have that?"
"Why did you tell me no again?"
"Why do we sleep?"
"Why does it get dark?"
"Why can't I be the boss of me?"
"How'd you see me do that?"
"Why is it a bad choice?"

And so on and so forth...that is but a mere portion of the fun that he and I have on a daily, hourly, minutely (is that a word) basis. Just thought I'd share.

Lessons Learned
1. Great minds think alike.
2. Even if I'm not asking the questions, at least I know someone is.
3. There is never a dull moment around here.
4. It's a wonder my ears don't bleed from the lack of silence.
5. It is WAY better than quiet...WAY better.

That's so Corny

2010-05-08T07:44:00.000-06:00

So Noah has recently been diagnosed with a myriad of food allergies. It can't be eggplant can it? Oh no.........it has to be big and dramatic and frustrating.

Here's the list:

Corn
Yeast
Bell Peppers
Chicken
Turkey
Fish/Shellfish
Cashews
Pistachios
Mangos

Really? Oh yeah, baby, really. So being the mom that I am, I have tried to do this right along with him. We have purchased Feast without Yeast and The Corn Free Diet and Survival Guide because I decided those would be the two that were the hardest. And I was right.

Did you know that there is corn starch in EVERYTHING. For example: Pre-shredded cheese...we wouldn't want to clump now, would we? How 'bout a dryer sheet, yes a dryer sheet. Then there is the lotions, toilet paper, most paper products. And of course how could we forget our friend, High Fructose corn syrup...everything. I'm thinking we may have to get NG tubes for feeding, but the mix probably has corn in it.

After the first week of shock that I am going to have to actually learn how to cook, I am trying to see this as a blessing in disguise. Keyword: trying.

We don't need to put all of this garbage into our systems. The yeast part...well, I'm still pretty frustrated about the yeast part...that is another rant for a different day. The focus right now is trying to rid the house of as much corn and corn by products as possible. The big stuff: boom, gone...no problem. But now I get to call the manufacturers of basics like toilet paper, shampoo, toothpaste, etc...why? The majority of products out there have corn in them. sigh.

I used to really like corn. Now, I think it's Satans vegetable.

Lessons Learned
1. Cookbooks come in handy.
2. So does Amazon.
3. Noah is infinitely more patient than I am when it comes to food.
4. As a wise friend said, "It's okay to grieve the loss of food."
5. Why do RICE chex have CORN in them?

5....FINALLY

2010-04-30T12:56:00.000-06:00

You can refer to my post in April/May of 2009 regarding Calebs birthday to understand what a momentus occasion this is for us.

And of course he wouldn't be still long enough to take his picture.

The entire last year has been peppered with "I hate being 4." and in the first half of the year, "Why can't I still be three?" and the second half of the year, "When can I be 5? I hate four."

No, really. I have never seen a kid have such distaste for his age, but he did.

Luckily we all survived, with only one broken bone, one mysterious disappearance and more funny comments than I can count.

We're lucky to have him, I think we'll keep him.

Stop that Cart...But Leave 'The Finger' Out of It

2010-04-29T19:57:00.000-06:00

As I have been searching for Corn-free, Yeast-free, basically food free items for Noah to eat, we (that would be Caleb and I) made a quick trip to Good Earth this morning. He had a snack, a drink and was totally up for the experience. That makes one of us.

After dropping the pretzels, succumbing to multiple requests for this and that (and of course it was all the stuff I could have gotten cheaper someplace else), I was so done.

We pay and make a quick escape to the car. I put Caleb in the car (he refused to wear shoes even though it was snowing...that's my boy) and went to put my purchases in the back of the car.

My back seats were laying down flat and I needed them up to keep everything from flying all over the place (have you ever gone somewhere with me and let me drive? 'nuff said). So I put up the first seat, grab the second seat to pull it into place when the cart makes it's move.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a glint, it could be the snow...but alas, it was the renegade shopping cart...trying to escape with my fairly expensive corn free, yeast free, food free food. So I hurry to put the second seat back up and make my move to jump after the cart all at the same time...hey, I was multi-tasking. When just after I make my leap towards the car, I am jerked back like a rubber band shot gone awry. I had shut my middle finger in the recess between the two seats.

I yank trying to free my hand from the car, which is apparently in cahoots with the cart and I am stuck fast. So I yank harder. It hurt. It hurt really bad. But I got free, made it to the cart before it hit a car that was worth more than my house.

I loaded the groceries, took the cart in, got in the car and inspected the finger. Yes, I purposefully said 'the finger'. A red scrape (no broken skin) down the center of it and a purply (is that a word?), bluish colored knot rising at the base of my finger. Great. Now I can use 'the finger' to give people 'the finger' whether I mean to or not.

Lessons Learned
1. I'm insured...
2. I'm not so swollen anymore, but it still hurts.
3. I better check to see if I have a stupidity rider on my insurance.
4. I can't even try and do a 'good mom' deed without something weird happening.
5. Not a good sign when you make it to the 'For the love of Pete' portion of the day before noon.

To Pee or Not to Pee

2010-04-29T19:45:00.000-06:00

That is the question. Really. That is the question.

We had to go to the hospital the other day for some follow up tests....for Baylee, who else? Same fun, different day. At least this time it was only a Urinalysis and not blood work. Easy peasy (I said peasy...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...you'll get it after you read), lemon squeezy.

I take Caleb with me this time, even though I usually avoid it at all costs. I hate taking him grocery shopping...trust me, the hospital and Caleb are not a fun combo. We get in line to register and one registrars computer goes down...so the people at her desk come back to the front of the line, which means I get bumped...well of course. We can't just get in and out can we?

We register, head to the lab, turn in our paperwork, find our faxed paperwork and then we sit in the empty waiting room. Yes, we sat and we sat and we sat. Just out of curiosity, do you think they are looking out of the little window of their door to see what we are doing while we wait? It could be a whole psychological evaluation thing...or it could be a terrorist plot. I don't know. I'm just sayin'.

We finally get called, they hand Baylee the cup, she goes back to the bathroom and Caleb and I sit on the couch. Caleb gets antsy...so what else is new, but after 15 minutes I had hit my limit. And yes, I did say 15 minutes. So I knock on the door, "Baylee, you okay?" "Fine mom."

At which point Caleb decides he absolutely has to go to the bathroom. So I take him to the bathroom across the hall. We go in and he immediately starts yelling about how I can't be in there, girls can't come in while I'm going to the bathroom. It wouldn't have been so bad except for...well...you know how hospital bathrooms are. They echo. They reverberate. They magnify. I finally convince him to go. It did take 5 minutes though and I had endure being told (okay yelled at) that if I didn't leave he would break all of my bones and not let the hospital people fix them. I'm sure everyone enjoyed that....because I sure did. Especially since my in and out trip to the hospital was now over 30 minutes.

After he goes to the bathroom he refuses to pull up his pants for the exact same reasons listed in the previous paragraph. Then we had the entire same conversation about broken bones, although it was one of those conversations where the volume was amplified. So after ANOTHER 5 mines I finally said I would flush the toilet myself, open the door and let everyone see his *privates* (*I used the anatomically correct word, but this is a family blog after all). So he started to scream, pulled his pants up and flushed the toilet. I'm pretty sure, by the looks on every ones faces as we walked out of the bathroom, that they all thought I was beating him. I wasn't. But I wanted to.

We go back to the lab and Baylee is STILL in the bathroom. She comes out and takes a big drink of water and goes back in. After another 5 minutes, I'm done. We decide to take the cup home and take our chances. We just had to have the sample back to the hospital by 7 or we would have to re-register.

As we are leaving, Caleb decides that he is furious because he didn't get his own cup. He didn't quite understand it wasn't for drinking. He sits himself down in the lobby and refuses to leave. I was okay with that. I said goodbye and started walking out of automatic doors. He flips out, runs after me, trips, splits his lip, gets covered in blood and the whole time I am walkin' away. Yeah, I am really that GOOD of a parent.

We get to the car, finally get home and the first thing Baylee does is go to the bathroom. You heard it hear first folks. I'll be here all week...

Lessons Learned
1. Baylee has to 'christen' every public restroom we are in the vicinity of...but the one time, the only time I NEED her to pee in public, she gets stage fright.
2. Caleb will NOT be accompanying me to the hospital again...unless he is in it and sedated.
3. I need a hobby.
4. Maybe I should get Caleb his own set of hospital gear so he doesn't feel left out.
5. I really need a hobby.

Marco? Polo....

2010-04-14T17:27:00.000-06:00

Caleb has entered a point in his life that he is really asserting his independence...much to my dismay...it isn't like he wasn't already independent...

On Sunday we went to my sisters ward for the blessing of her cute little baby and then we went to our ward to teach our Sunday School class. We got there right before our class was to start so I ran to the other side of the building to go and grab something. Caleb was mad about something (as usual...) and I was talking to a friend. Now...let me be honest...it was a short conversation. I saw Caleb go around the corner, but he has done so good lately about not straying that I figured he was just pouting around the corner.

I finish up my conversation...and by the way, I really don't get a lot of grown up talk time...so I was really enjoying it, and headed around the corner to grab Caleb, take him to his class and then go to mine. I get to the hall...no Caleb. Walk around to the other side of the building where Felix was...no Caleb. Get the rest of the kids to start doing a class to class search. I get to Felix and tell him to head home and see if he tried to make his way there.

The kids don't find him in class rooms, in bathrooms...the kid vanished out of thin air. I call Felix at home and he says there is no sign of him. I tell him to call 911, because of Caleb's history with 1st East, church and disappearing. Long story...still traumatized (and it was 2 years ago), so not going into it.

Felix said to go and grab someone from the Bishopric to help search before we do that. As I head back to the chapel, Sacrament meeting gets out, throngs of people start herding to their classes and there is still no sign of Caleb. Hi, my name is Wendy and I'm TOTALLY panicking. Just as I reach out to grab someone to help, out of the corner of my eye I see of flash of color. I turn and guess who is climbing out from underneath one of the tables? And yes, it was a table I checked.

Lessons Learned
1. Marco?
2. Polo
3. I'm gonna hurt the kid if he ever hides from me again.
4. Oh I did call Felix and Felix wanted to spank him too.
5. But we didn't...we resorted to psychological torture of taking things away instead. And all Caleb could say about it all was, "Why do you have to remember things?" I don't know...why do I?

What If I Panic?

2010-04-14T17:16:00.000-06:00

We tried last summer to teach Caleb how to ride his bike and he would have NONE OF IT. So last Friday, Savannah and Sara tried to give it a go. He was interested, but he can work Savannah like nobodies business...and all he had to do was say, "I can't." and she pushes him. Smart kid.

So on Saturday Felix and I tried to give it a go and within 30 minutes he was riding his bike...yes, we are that good. Not really, Caleb was just ready, Felix understands how boys need to balance and the rest was history.

Once we got him going, the overprotective part of being a parent kicked in and Felix and I felt the need to stay by him while he was learning. Like everything else Caleb has done in life, he has two speeds...Stop and Super FAST. Let's just say I got my exercise.

About halfway through our growing up journey of riding a bike, he started riding, stopped, looked up at me and said, "What if I panic?" "Well," I said, stop and get off. He kept asking me over and over again, "What if I panic?" I kept giving the same answer. Let my just say that Caleb has persistance that would try Job. I finally got him to put a cork in it and ride his bike. I was so grateful. About 20 minutes later I was telling my cute "panic" tale to a neighbor and Savannah walked up and heard the conversation.

"Oh," she says..."whenever he freaks out he slams on the breaks and yesterday Sara and I told him to stop 'panicking'. He thinks putting the brakes on is called panicking."

Lessons Learned
1. Kids really do know what they are talking about.
2. I have no idea what anyone is talking about.
3. We have now mastered braking and turning...the mommy no longer has to run (that was not a pretty picture).
4. Awwwww....he's so cute on his teeny, tiny bike.
5. Like the rest of the munchkins...all he has to do is want to do something and it's done.

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree...

2010-04-01T20:00:00.002-06:00

Quotes and Musings from the Morgan Household (in the past 2 weeks no less):

"Mom, wanna play destruction worker with me?" - Caleb

"Dad, I know what you're thinking...because I'm telepathetic." - Noah

"Do we really have to have a conversation? Again? It's always the same thing. I know what you are going to say, so can we just skip it this time?" - Noah

"Savannah, where is Noah?" "Don't worry, I disposed of him." - Savannah

"I don't want a soul anymore, mine talks to much." - Caleb

"Dang it Baylee - I broke a nail." - Savannah (after tripping over Baylee and falling and skidding across the floor)

"I can see my carpet, if I move stuff." - Baylee (on why her room IS clean)

"Yeah I was breathing...I think." - Caleb

"Good evening Caleb." - Caleb (on how is wants to be greeted)

"Marco." - Me (really, who knows why...sometimes stuff just slips out)

"A red mark on your hand? Let's cut it off." - Me

"You've got one good eyeball, use it." - Me (compassion, compassion, compassion...through and through)

So this is just a small sample of what goes in around my house on a very regular basis...just thought I would share. Because, really....Freud ain't got nothing on me.

Okay....Fine

2010-03-22T14:29:00.002-06:00

There is no way I am going to get caught up after my grudge for Ctrl+Z, but I figured I would throw the short, short version of life out there so that maybe I could start blogging again without anger.

Noah turned 10 in February. We went to the Mayan (a favorite for the entertainment). Caleb got beat up by a little kid that wanted his spot and Noah totally jumped to his rescue along with Baylee and Savannah. I love that the theme at our house "No one can beat you up but me". I'll roll with that. We had a late night with 15 or so 10 year olds a week later and I was so grateful when it was over.

We had 4 cases of strep throat since January 30 and are hanging on by a thread to stay well. We've had all sorts of adventures in health, a never ending learning experience and are still working through them. It's all good though.

We have had the latest addition to the family, baby Evan, the cutest little nephew EVER. And we have also been blessed with our first Les Paul guitar, a sibling Washburn Electric Acoustic and a Half-stack Marshall Amp in bright red. We have nearly completed the guitar room, and I think it is already too small by the time all 9 guitars, 3 amps and couch are in there. Oh well...it's that or nothing.

We have moved bedrooms to help with sleeping problems...not mine, the kids. Noah and Caleb are now sharing our old master bedroom which means they have their own bathroom, a walk-in closet (where we put the dressers) and a killer bunk-bed that was resurrected from storage. And only one person has fallen off so far. ROCK ON.

We've had a missionary farewell on my dad's side of the family, an 85th birthday (it wasn't mine) and family here to celebrate.

It's been busy, hectic, and of course I have had to take time to be angry at blogger. Look, that is just how it is...

So.........................

Lessons Learned
1. I have perfected the art of grudge holding.
2. There is no such thing as an after-Christmas slowdown.
3. Sick babies and sick mommies are never a good combo.
4. I'm ready for a vacation.
5. I feel better after blogging, I'm thinking I need to get back into the swing of things.

Get the Heck Out of Dodge...Day 3

2010-02-22T16:38:00.010-07:00

Okay....I just finished this post and the entire day deleted...pictures and everything...so here is the new version.

We went to the Moqui cave.

We went to an ice cream/deli for lunch. Savannah and Baylee tried not to kill each other in public.

We went back through Zions and the tunnels of doom.

Noah and Baylee started spitting on each other about half way home.

We made it home mostly liking each other.

We will try vacation again.

And one day, when I am not so angry that Ctrl+Z doesn't work in blogspot...I might post again.

Get the Heck Out of Dodge...Day 2

2010-02-19T07:56:00.011-07:00

So where did I leave off? Oh yeah...brown water.

After the phone call I ran to check our tubs, toilets, sinks...we were in the clear. But we did discover something odd about our tub. For whatever reason, it was only like 2 feet long. Caleb

couldn't even lay down in it. Not that I would ever let my children take a bath in a strange hotel room, but it's always nice to know I could if I wanted to.

Needless to say, every time someone took a shower the entire bathroom was soaked. It had a full-size head, full pressure and about half the size showers usually did...so basically Niagara Falls space in a 3x3 room. It was an adventure....isn't everything?

So we decided that day 2 would be our big adventure day. Let's see what we could pack in. We drove to Kanab and had breakfast and found out there was a 'secret way' into the North rim of the Grand Canyon, which was currently closed due to winter. AWESOME. So the lady that owned the restaurant told us who to call and what to do. We called it was closed. Of course it was...duh have you ever been on an adventure with the Morgans?

So we decided to just drive. And head toward Page, Arizona.So off we went through the Escalante National Park, we took our first stop at Big Water and had a stunning view and neat adventure at the 'mini' museum. Noah kind of missed part of the conversation and wanted to know if this was the grand staircase. Ummmmmm, sweetie...no. But he was pretty good natured about it.

So we found a fun hike to do just over the dam and through Page. We got to where the ranger directed us. Over the bridge, through the town and to the Horseshoe Bend...and that is where the real adventure begins.
We head on our little hike to see the amazing view. Somebody who is 12 and a girl is still upset about spending time with us. Can you tell? It's mostly because we are evil parents who's children are their who world and want to spend time with them. What's up with that? Arrest those people.

But we continued walking made to the edge where there were no guard rails, and if you have ever met any of my children, you understand why they were NOT allowed within 20 feet of the edge. So the one picture we took had a rock behind them to keep them from falling over the edge. I am NOT being melodramatic...just realistic...have you met my family? Sheesh. It was pretty though.

So after we were done avoiding the edge we purposefully hiked to, we took a little bit of a side route to head back to where we were parked. And that is where we found, wait for it.....the dinosaur poo. Don't believe me? What does this look like to you? Really, what else could it be? If it isn't petrified poo, then I'm a monkeys uncle.

So we did what every normal family would do. We climbed all over the pooh. Felix proved that when you gotta go, you gotta go. Caleb and I understand that philosophy, but man Wooooo, it was stinky.

Because the Morgans are who the Morgans are...we had a REALLY good time playing on the dinosaur poo. We have renamed the hike, Do the Poo hike.

We climbed in, around and under. And nobody fell off. Ahhhhhhhh, MIRACLES do happen.

We finally decided to head back to the car...and it was a little more difficult than the hike down. Poor Baylee pretty much just hung on for dear life while I drug her up the hill. YAY Tylenol...we wouldn't have been able to do this without you.

So once we finished at Do the Poo hike, we headed off to the dam. WooHoo the dam was fun...especially since my kids had so much fun swearing. We enjoyed the dam bathrooms, the dam stores, the dam view, the dam postcards...you get the picture. But nothing was quite as spectacular as when Caleb looked out the window and said is that the dam water? We're twisted...we accept that.

So we did some lunch (horrible experience at denny's that is a story for another day and time). And then headed back from the direction whence we came. We stopped at the grand staircase just for Noah, but all 4 of the kids were out cold, so Felix went and explored on his own.

As we pulled into Kanab, we had to stop a take a picture of the most patient cop in the entire world.

This cop was in his car, always watching. So still, so diligent...AMAZING. And yes he's a dummy. Really...he has no brain and is made out of plastic. Someone even drew a mustache on him.

So decided there was room for one more adventure left in us and we went to the Coral Pink Sand Dunes. SO MUCH FUN. The kids were rolling down the hills, Noah was faking that he was in the desert trying to find water and Felix was huntin' wabbits.

We finished off the day, completely exhausted with a yummy dinner at a really good diner and collapsed into bed. IT WAS A GREAT DAY.

And then Day 3 happened.......

Gettin' the Heck Out of Dodge....Day One

2010-02-16T17:58:00.012-07:00

Ahhhhhh, a four day weekend. I was so looking forward to getting caught up on life. Then Thursday night, Felix had a brilliant idea. "Let's go somewhere."

Now let me clarify. He does this all of the time. I usually win. By winning I'm sure that most of you assume I mean, we went somewhere. So sorry. I'm a chicken, a homebody, afraid of adventure, afraid that my children will drown, get lost or kidnapped, afraid of that big bad world that dominates. Yeah, it's a scary place out there. Home is safe. It just is. I know I completely go against the norm with the fact that I hate to travel and/or vacate. I'm not asking for your approval...either love me the way I am or stop reading.

So Felix says, "Let's go somewhere." And this time, because I was trying really hard not to be me, said okay. He found the hotel, we told the kids the house was clean or we stayed home. Surprisingly, they cleaned the house. Hmmmm....should have tried this much sooner.

So Friday morning, we loaded up, and we got the heck out of dodge. So where were we going. Only the bustling metropolis of Mt. Carmel Junction, Utah. I know, you've heard of it. Who hasn't? Short, short version....east entrance of Zions National Park, 15 miles from Kanab.

We are on the road. Woohoo...so far, no one has killed each other, fought or thrown themselves out the window...this trip is a success. We decide to stop in Beaver for a late lunch. Because my chicken-ness is contagious, we go for Wendys. As I am standing in line, waiting to order and waiting to order and waiting to order and waiting to order, Felix was herding Caleb over to the tables. Caleb being completely who is is decided to mess around with the self-closing door....you know those hinge thingys that slowly (and as we discovered, painfully) close after you walk in.

For whatever reason, Caleb decides to mess with Felix's head just one more time and put his hand near the hinges. Insert thumb, smash thumb flatter than a pancake, scream loudly (ear piercing, glass shattering), exit Felix and Caleb. I could tell by the look on Felix's face that something was very, very wrong. I gather every one else (without food) and go out. By the time I get outside, Felix is examining the thumb and telling me to head home. It was already a sickening shade of red/blue/black/purple and a few other colors. I watched while it began to expand back to a thumb shape and then exceeding expectations by swelling at a crazy rate.

So I do what ever normal mom does. I walked over to the convenience store, bought medical tape, first aid kit and a cup of ice. I taped up his thumb, threw his arm over my shoulder, shoved Tylenol down his throat and stuck his hand in the ice. I jumped into the back seat of the car with Caleb on my lap while Felix got everyone else in and said, "Keep going."

You need to understand...it wasn't as though I was unsympathetic to the plight of my baby. I know he hurt, I also know he smashed his thumb above the knuckle so it was likely a soft tissue injury. I also knew that I never go along with going somewhere, and I wasn't ready to back out.

After a quick call to the pediatrician, who confirmed what I thought and a you should probably to to an insta-care, I browsed the internet, found an insta-care 30 minutes from where we were and gave Felix stunningly accurate directions on how to get there. Can I just say, it was awesome to drive into this insta-care in Cedar City, walk in, get checked by the doctor and get right back out to the car in 13 minutes (p.s. it was a soft-tissue injury...I'm that good). So we grab some food and get back on the road.

Now for this next segment....I wish to urge all of you to get a GPS/Map/Tom-tom car thing. No need here. I had Google GPS on my Blackberry. I had directions. Little did Google or the map tell me, these were the more expensive directions. Following the road, following the little dot on my phone and the next thing you know we are at the entrance to Zions National Park. Huh? We didn't want to go to the park today...

After a little conversation with the ranger, we found out our hotel was on the other side of the park, just past the east entrance. That would be 25 dollars please. Fine, we were going anyway and the pass was good for 7 days...fine, whatever.

It wasn't quite dusk, but it was getting close, I was getting stressed and then the cliffs happened. Ummmmm, have I mentioned before that I am extremely terrified of heights (some of it might have something to do with last summers adventure). Why am I ALWAYS on the outside of the car...looking down?

Oh did I also mention that I am claustrophoboic? Because I would have tried to prepare myself for the mile and half long tunnel of death... Really, it isn't so intimidating from the outside. Try the inside.

I sounded something like, breathe, breathe, keep driving, breathe, breathe, keep driving, whoever said we are going to die...cork it, i said cork it, breathe, breathe, breathe. You get the picture. I think the tunnel from He....purgatory was a fantastic adventure for me....because I lead such a bland and boring life.

Sorry living the experience again and just trying to breath. Woo. Scary. Flashbacks suck...especially since you are the only one who can see them...YIKES.

Once we made it through yucky tunnel, we went through a little yucky tunnel...all tunnels will be yucky from now on.

So we made it to the hotel in about 20 minutes.

Our very own Best Western. Felix checked in and we drove to our non-adjoining rooms with our heated, outdoor pool completely covered and out of commission.

We separated boys vs. girls, and I don't know if that what quite the way to go. Although to be fair the girls did a stand-up job of pretending not to fight with one another while they were laying down.

But I do need to share the fun of our room. The door was not sealed and it was 20 degrees outside. Okay, crank up the heater. Pretend like you don't see the dead bugs on the floor. It's was really all well and good until Felix called from the boys room to find out if our water was as brown as theirs. No really.

Stay tuned for day 2.

WOW!

2010-02-03T12:26:00.002-07:00

January was quite a month! In some ways I am so grateful it's over...in other ways I realize what an incredibly inspiring journey it was. So I guess I'll tackle the highlights and see where it leads...and with me, we could end up just about anywhere.

Hell on Earth
I can't think of anyone who isn't aware of Haiti and the devastation and destruction. But when I found out through friends that someone Felix and my mom used to work with had been trying to adopt children and that their world was now in utter chaos, I became an avid reader of their blog. Even though the situation was technical 'arms length', I learned.

I learned that humanity is NOT dead. That there are so many people who are willing to open their hearts, arms and souls to help others. Like the pilot that wouldn't leave without the babies. Like the Rosenlofs who wouldn't give up. Like the workers in the orphanage who stayed with those babies during the chaos of the moments. Like the coordinators in the international adoption agencies who put their lives on hold to save the children. Like the shelters in Florida that opened their doors to the children and families once they arrived. This list could go on and on...and probably should.

Most of all, I learned (again) how humbling it is to witness miracles and the hand of God in every day life. He can move mountains. He has and will again.

No WHEY! WHEY!
My baby brother, the final sibling got hitched! Talk about modern day miracles! What a blessing it is to watch true love meet and blossom (okay, more like explode). How beautiful to witness two people, find out how wonderful they are as people, but how perfect they are together.

Stacy, we love you! And are SO happy to have you as a member of the family! P.S. Thanks for making my brother a 'people' again! I forgot how much fun he is!

UGH!
I hate the political climate. I do. You don't have to agree. It's called freedom. I have lots of strong opinions and would really love to push them on people. I am going to try and not push them on people, but I am going to exercise my freedom and tell ya what they are. You can exercise your freedom and not listen. Really, I'm good with that.

So here they are:
1. The State of the Union ticked me off so bad, I couldn't watch it in it's entirety. Why? Because regardless of what the president says, and how good things are in Washington, D.C. (the only place in the nation unemployment is actually going DOWN), every where else it sucks. And sir, it's been a year...stop blaming your predescesor. Freakin' get over it, stop taking my money and freedom. I know there are stalwart socialists who think you are deity, but I'm not one of 'em. Yeah, give me back my change...

2. I hate politicians. I know that is a pretty generic statement, however, in most parts of the nation bribery is a crime. Not on capital hill. Instead...you get bought off to get yourself or your constituents (read: yourself) gain. It's time to get the politicians out of Washington and put people back in. Idon't want to be represented by career politicians. They only know how to relate to other politicians. I want my representation to be people...a lot like the people who founded this nation. They came from professional diversity, geographic diversity all because they had one common belief. Just one. Freedom.

3. Political Party Affiliation sucks too. I have decided I am no longer a Democrat or a Republican. I'm not an Independent or a Tea Partier. I not in the Green Party, Communist Party or any other party. For the sake of my voter registration, I am keeping things 'as is'.

So what do I believe? Well, I am a conservative. But that doesn't mean I am closed minded. I believe in the freedom to choose. If you don't like it, CHOOSE not to participate, but don't take away my freedom to CHOOSE to participate. I believe in tolerance...from every body...not just those who think that the rest of us need to tolerate them.

I know I am goin' around the block to get to the house next door. So here goes: I believe in the founding principles of this nation. I believe in the freedom of religion, speech and every thing else in the constitution. I believe in the separation of church and state (and by the way, that actually means the government will NOT impose and state backed church on the people...if you don't believe me, look it up). I believe this nation was founded under Christian principles with divine guidance. I also believe, you have the right to disagree.

Okay, tirade over.

Funny Ha Ha!
I think one of the best things I have gotten out of the month of January is my smile. I forgot how fun and funny my kids are.

Caleb is constantly focusing, positioning, aggravating, contemplating...all words that HE uses to me to tell me what is going on in his life. He is also not afraid to tell me I have a big butt. It's okay, after the original offense, I realized he was right and told him he was just jealous because he didn't.

Savannah is traversing into being a young woman, and Felix is totally fighting her every step of the way. You want to see something funny...watch the two of them duke it out about whether or not she is allowed to talk to boys through IM. No really.

Baylee is (as usual) walking the fine line of pushing her siblings to the extreme, me to the extreme and quite frankly the rest of the world to the extreme. Watching an 8 year with something to prove is really entertaining...frustrating for the mommy...but entertaining.

And there is Noah. Trying to figure out how to get on Mythbusters, blow stuff up with purpose and redesign the entire universe. And yes, he does believe Pluto is still a planet...and he agrees with me. What kind of ego does someone have to have in order to tell a planet it can't be a planet anymore?

So here are Felix and I, watching the chaos that constantly churns around us. Trying hard not to screw anyone or anything up too badly. At least I get to enjoy this journey with my best friend.

Lessons Learned
1. Being me is not as difficult as I make it sometimes.
2. Regardless of the storm, I can still dance.
3. I am amazed at the people around me, that really (really, really) make me want to be a better person.
4. I am lucky to be surrounded by a family that enjoys laughing as much as I do.
5. As much I hate politics and all of the other crap, at least my freedoms are intact enough to let me go off like this.

Peace out!

Pray for Haiti

2010-01-22T07:39:00.005-07:00

Sometimes tragedies happen. Unfortunately, when they happen far away, we feel so helpless, so limited in what we can do. I'm not a doctor, or I would board a plane. I don't do search and rescue, or I would board a plane. I don't know anyone, or I would board a plane.

I have friends, who have friends who have been in the process of adopting children from Haiti. The earthquake has brought a little piece of Hell with it. These people are amazing. So are the people they are working with.

I am grateful for my friends who have been diligent in posting. I am hoping that by posting a link to their blog will keep you informed and help you stay involved.

http://countdowntohomecoming.blogspot.com/

And when you are done. Pray. Pray for those who are hurt and struggling. Pray for those who are still lost. Pray for those who are doing everything in their power to save the babies. Pray with purpose. God is listening, you just need to talk to Him.

GUILTY!

2010-01-15T21:22:00.003-07:00

As a form of entertainment for Felix and I, we have started handling household disputes by holding court. We go up to the master bedroom, and have each of the children involved testify as to their version of events.

Tonight Caleb and Baylee decided to beat the snot out of each other. And really...there were boogers flying everywhere. I stopped them short of blood and decided to hold court.

We invited Caleb to be the first witness and had him stand on the hope chest at the foot of the bed. Don't worry, he's short, no worries about the ceiling fan. We prepared the witness for his first question from one of the judges (that was me!).

As I sternly asked the first question, "Caleb, have you been mean to your sister?" He didn't shy away from my gaze and firmly answered, "Yes." In the corner where Baylee was waiting for her turn to testify, she quietly said, "He's guilty."

At which point Caleb jumped off of the hope chest and ran out of the room screaming, "I'm guilty! I'm guilty!" and started to cry.

Lessons Learned
1. A guilty complex is a terrible thing to waste.
2. Court has been a wonderful learning process about our legal system.
3. Since I have 4 aspiring attorneys, practice makes perfect.
4. I do believe I need to get one of those really cool wigs that judges wear in England.
5. I am proud that I am able to pass my guilty complex onto the next generation.

Clorox, Porceline and ......

2010-01-03T10:43:00.002-07:00

***PLEASE DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER...I AM SIMPLY WRITING THIS TO SEE IF I CAN DO JUSTICE TO THE EXPERIENCE. THE FOLLOWING IS GROSS. REALLY, REALLY GROSS. STOP READING....IF YOU DON'T STOP READING, YOU DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK. THERE WILL BE VOMIT AND SPLASHING...I SAID STOP READING.***

With the hectic holidays behind us, Felix and I decided to treat ourselves to Ruby River. We had missed a family dinner there because of my being sick and he and I had been craving it ever since.

So we did what any warm blooded, meat-loving American would do. We pigged out. Went for the onion...YUM-O and their new Gorgonzola encrusted New York Strip, with a jacketed potato and salad. YAY! We ate until we could eat no more...then we went and got the kids Wendys...fair trade.

We enjoyed the rest of the evening, watching Buck Rogers (yes that Buck Rogers) and hanging out with the kids. I couldn't even drink water I was SO full last night. We went to bed around 10:30.

At about 11 we hear the kids and discover, much to our horror, that someone had made red punch and they were all drinking it in the basement. Much to our surprise (NOT)...someone spilled. All I gotta say at this point is YAY Ambien. I had already taken my Ambien, taken off my boot and was not allowed out of bed. Felix got to clean it...sorry honey...but YAY me! He made his way back to bed at about 11:30.

At about 11:55 I watched my stomach unnaturally rise. Kind of like a DiGornio pizza, but in a really, really, really bad way. The distressing sight undercut the thought that hit at midnight. I realized trouble was coming. With a capital T.

So rather than wait...I made my way to the throne room. You know there really is a perk to having the toilet cordoned off in its own room, first and foremost...you can call it the throne room...that alone makes it worth it.

I have learned from morning sickness past (which is totally not what this is...I am a UFZ thank you very much), that I cannot puke into a toilet until I clean it. So while the contents of my stomach made their arduous trek up the realm from which they came, I took the time to clean my toilet. (It doesn't matter if it was already cleaned that day...it has to be done again). Made sure to dispose of all garbage and then tried to figure out how to cradle the bowl.

With my foot, I was pretty sure I couldn't get down, let alone get up after I had completed the process. So I hovered. And mental note for next time....NOOOOOOOO. Hovering is bad...the splash zone increases exponentially.

As I hovered, I waited for the tell-tale lump in my throat to tell me that the time had come. And although I had been waiting, the warning was sudden and abrupt. So it began.....

Like many times before the first episode was small and very unsatisfying. Thank goodness the lump in my throat was still there to remind me the party was far from over. The lump that tells you, it has only begun my dear...hang on for the ride.

Episodes 2, 3 and 4 were fast and furious, leaving little time in between for anything but a quick breath of air. Fortunately my body was able to take a quick break before the next round. I needed a moment to regroup and clean off the splash-factor that acted as face seeking missiles after every purge. I was prepared for rounds 5, 6, 7 and beyond. I had a roll of toilet paper in my hand and would clean after every dismissal to save myself the trouble when I was finished.

I was so grateful when the dry heaving began....That was my sign the end was near...not like in a Mayan calendar, the earth is ending kind of way...but that the puke fest was nearly over kind of way.

The heaving slowly came to an end, taking it's time as my gag reflex reset. My eyes were wet with the pressure of my eyeballs trying to hurl through my eyelids and my cheeks flushed with exertion of expelling the notion of "Too much is too much". My body was drained, my mind empty (nothing new, but it sounded good) and my stomach, quiet.

Now that the world had stopped turning inside of my stomach, I went for a little deja vu and cleaned the toilet again.

Lessons Learned

1. Hovering and vomit....not a good pair.

2. There is an order of operations: 1) clean 2) vomit 3) clean. Somewhat repetitive, but easy to remember.

3. Does anyone know how much force is exerted when vomiting? That might make for an AWESOME science fair project.

4. Feeling a little queasy...maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

5. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Let Love Rule....for 2010

2010-01-01T13:45:00.005-07:00

Okay, I know things have been really serious for a while...Sorry! But before I get back on my wacky wagon, I wanted to share my hopes and dreams for the New Year!

For 2010, I hope:

That this nation will be able to re-unite with the understanding this nation was created and formed under God. Believer, non-believer, agnostic, atheist...it doesn't matter, the founding fathers created this blessed land with divine help and gave the freedom to not believe.

That people throughout the world will acknowledge it is completely acceptable to agree to disagree. Until we all respect each others humanity and right to an opinion, our own opinions won't matter or accomplish much.

That regardless of the social/political/economic crises we are all faced with, we all have the ability to survive....as long as we have each other.

As individuals, everyone will come to terms with the realization that you can't be anything to anybody (let alone everything to everyone) if you aren't something to yourself first.

That even though last year wasn't the greatest...for like anyone...by enduring the Refiners Fire, we will be stronger for the effort.

In the inspired words of Lenny Kravitz (Yay Lenny!): Love transcends all space and time And love can make a little child smile Can't you see this won't go wrong But we got to be strong We can't do it alone.

Happy New Year! I hope that your year is filled with peace, joy and happiness. And when you struggle, you aren't alone...I got your back.

Busted!

2009-12-24T07:32:00.002-07:00

Due to my lack of mobility, we made a few changes to Christmas this year. Nothing major. Usually Felix and I stay up late on Christmas Eve, wrap all of the presents and put everything under the tree. Because I had to have so much help, we have been wrapping a little bit at a time and putting things under the tree because there was NO WAY I was going to make it on Christmas Eve.

Last night, I'm laying down with my boot off (shhhhhhh, don't tell the doctor) and Caleb comes in holding his drum set. Yeah, that would be the one that just got wrapped and put under the tree. Maybe teaching him to read isn't such a good idea. And he says...Mom, look what I got for Christmas!

Because I am trying not to laugh and because I can't get up, I call Felix who walks in and Caleb proudly tells him, "Look Dad! I got drums for Christmas". Felix explained that it wasn't Christmas and took it away.

And the tantrum of the century ensued. After watching the equivalent of the Tasmanian Devil with PMS...I am grateful my walls are still standing. We made him go and pick another gift from under the tree that he had to give back. So he went down started opening presents so he could decide what he was going to give back.

Felix was able to stop him before he got too far...but still...he is the first and only of our children BRAVE enough to even attempt opening Christmas presents before Christmas. And he didn't even try to be sneaky about it.

So while he was in time out, we had everyone else bring all of the presents to my room to remove the temptation of the holiday season!

And for all of you 'Children Cruelty Police' out there....he's gonna get his stuff back. Relax...no need to call child protective services!

Lessons Learned
1. There really was a reason why we waited to put presents under the tree. Who knew?
2. I forgot how hard it was to be 4.
3. I forgot how hard it was to be 4 with older sibling(s) who didn't make things any easier for you.
4. Now we get to lug everything down on Christmas Eve anyway. I'm thinking of using a sheet and creating a slide.
5. Perhaps we need to work on the reason for the season!

Say No To Drugs

2009-12-15T17:42:00.003-07:00

Okay...even when drugs are pharmaceutical and approved by doctors there have to be limits.

Last Wednesday I had ankle surgery...no big deal...not gonna go into it...more than I expected...but learned a valuable lesson about drugs.

I was in recovery and ready to go home at about 2:30. My kind after care staff didn't want me to be uncomfortable so between 12:30 and 2:30 I had 2 shots of morphine and 2 Percocets. I was feeling pretty dang good so I started asking to go home. My sweet over-protective nurse said as soon as I can go to the bathroom I can go. Well, get me some crutches, I want out of here.

We head (okay hobble) to the bathroom where I trip over the nurses feet with my crutches because she is so close to me. We get to the bathroom, where she won't let Felix in to help me. She was so sweet, she wanted to do it herself! Ummm, no. I have space bubble issues I'll take care of it.

I get comfortable in the bathroom and she starts talking, talking, talking. Okay, stop talking. Then the wave of dizziness and nausea hit like a thundering brick wall. I grab onto the rail next to me, holding on for dear life! The nurse runs out to get me some alcohol swabs to sniff (which by the way really do help with nausea) and while the slow closing hinge takes its time to close the door I practiced my parade wave at all of the strangers looking at me, while holding on for dear life. The nurse came back in, I waved again.

After the nausea had passed I began raining on myself because I was sweating so badly! Really, it was like I was raining! Gross. The nurse starts talking again and apparently I have a shy bladder. So she has a trick, she leaves to get and get it and yes! Success...but only after I waved at the people in the hall again!

I go to wash my hands and I am standing there for maybe a whole 20 seconds when I tell the nurse to go and get the wheelchair and collapse over the sink. The nurse freaks out and throws my IV bag into the garbage. Yes INTO the garbage...she fishes it out and then goes to get the wheelchair. By that time Felix knows there is something going on. He says me laying on the sink and picks me up and puts me in the wheelchair. We head back to my hole in the wall recovery room, Felix safely driving me in the wheelchair, the nurse holding my IV. Someone stops the nurse to talk and as Felix continues driving and my IV line begins to stretch. Rather than wait for my IV to be ripped out my arm, I gently tug on it to remind the nurse there is someone attached to the bag she is holding!

We safely make it back and the solution to my sudden dizzy/nausea thing is of course, more drugs. Demoral and Phenergren. At this point I have had all of these drugs within a three hour time period. So what happens next...my blood pressure drops and I can no longer get enough oxygen. Great.

So my two hour stay in recovery has turned into a 4+ hour recovery. Kids: Don't do drugs.

Lessons Learned
1. Too much is too much.
2. It's hard to have bad feelings about the nurse because she was so sweet to the point of too much, but so sweet.
3. My foot is fat and ugly.
4. I still haven't looked at it.
5. I hate crutches!

Someone Just Moved to the Naughty List

2009-12-01T09:19:00.002-07:00

Dear Santa,

I know you are just my parents and you might still have everyone else fooled. I am not that gullable and if you think otherwise try me. Let us just get to the part where you get me my presents. Just get me a $50-100 dollar iTunes gift card.

From Your Beloved Son,

Noah

No adjustments to spelling, grammar or content by the editor (i.e. the mommy)

A Bad Day, Eyes Opened, Humility Achieved

2009-11-21T16:30:00.002-07:00

Friday was a bad day. Lots happened. But a friend wrote this and posted it on:
http://www.themoralcompass.org/?cat=3 in response to all of the activities of Friday.

A Question of Responsibility
Saturday, November 21st, 2009

Ever since the national media abandoned it’s journalistic integrity during the 2008 Presidential campaign and election, I have been extra-sensitive to the irresponsible journalism that seems to be rampant among our radio and television stations, and in our newspapers and news magazines.
Recent revelations about misleading video from both conservative news outlets (Fox) and liberal ones (MSNBC to name one among several) lead me to believe that those who have chosen journalism as their occupations have abandoned sound principles and practices that should be synonymous with the profession.

Indeed, news outlets these days routinely violate most or all of the nine elements of journalism as described by Bill Kovach in his book The Elements of Journalism: What Newspeople Should

Know and The Public Should Expect:
Journalism’s first obligation is to the truth.
Its first loyalty is to the citizens.
Its essence is discipline of verification.
Its practitioners must maintain an independence from those they cover.
It must serve as an independent monitor of power.
It must provide a forum for public criticism and compromise.
It must strive to make the significant interesting, and relevant.
It must keep the news comprehensive and proportional.
It’s practitioners must be allowed to exercise their personal conscience.

Media outlets large and small, from local newspapers to multi-national news conglomerates, pay no attention to these tenets, and seem only to invoke them when it suits their purposes. And that’s one of my questions: what are their purposes? Surely not to expose the truth. Surely not to accurately report the facts. Surely not to remain independent from those they cover.
Here’s a good example. Today, the Daily Herald of Provo, Utah, ran this story: Pleasant Grove officials shut down swingset after collapse. Shortly after the Daily Herald ran their story, KSL, a Utah-based radio and television station, picked up the story, posting the internet version here: Swingset collapses, ends in near miss on playground.

I was at the board meeting in which this event was ‘discussed.’ In reality, after 1.5 hours of working on school issues such as whether or not to sign up for the federal free and reduced school lunch program, whether to accept federal Title I funds (which we declined), the necessity of drafting and adopting a school bullying policy, reviewing the YTD 2009 budget, and several other things, one board member simply asked what the status of the playground equipment was after the collapse.

Another board member mentioned that she’d seen the incident, and using obvious hyperbole, described her reaction. Everyone in the room laughed at the blatant exaggeration, including the Daily Herald reporter. It seemed to me he understood that hyperbole was being used.
The school principal explained that a local playground equipment company had come at her request to examine the equipment. They found additional areas of concern, and were willing to dismantle the equipment and replace it.

This discussion took all of 5 minutes.

And then those two stories appeared in the news the next day.
You may ask why I’ve got my knickers in a twist over this. Well, I’ll tell you:
The Daily Herald reporter misled his readers by taking a comment that was an obvious exaggeration and using it out of context. This did two things: first, it made an otherwise mundane story much more provocative, and second, it completely misrepresented a school board member. “Is that such a big deal,” you say. Yes it is. Go read the comments on KSL.com attached to this story. You can see how a vast majority of the commenters completely bought in to the out-of-context comment, and as one commenter put it were duped “hook, line, sinker, rod, and copy of Angler Times.”

A KSL reporter inteviewed the board member this morning on the phone, and unbeknownst to her, recorded their conversation which was subsequently broadcast over the airwaves. The sound bite was posted together with the text of the article, and was available to the public for several hours. KSL has since removed the illegally-recorded sound bite, but without a public apology for obtaining the recording without the board member’s consent.

Early versions of both the Daily Herald and the KSL stories completely misrepresented the playground equipment company, stating that the company was alternately “the manufacturer” or “the installer” or both. The truth is that the playground company was neither the manufacturer nor the installer, but came at the request of the school to help the school out. Neither the Daily Herald nor KSL bothered to verify facts about the playground company. As you’ll notice, current versions of the story have removed references to the playground equipment company, but with nary a public apology to the company for damaging their reputation.

“Methinks thou dost protest to much,” you may say. Well here’s the thing. This is just another example of shoddy reporting by media outlets. No attention to detail or even the truth at all. What’s Bill Kovach’s first element of journalism? “Journalism’s first obligation is to the truth.” Neither the Daily Herald nor KSL exhibited any concern for reporting the truth. They both wanted a sensational story. They both took the truth and twisted, misrepresented, mangled, and otherwise destroyed it to create a sensation. They succeeded, and you might even say (and I’m sure they would say) they were just applying Kovach’s seventh element of journalism: “It must strive to make the significant interesting, and relevant.” Well they certainly made it interesting, but at what cost? At the cost of the truth. A journalist’s first obligation is to the truth. The use of out-of-context comments, hyperbole, and half-truths to meet #7 are unjustifiable. #1 is the most important. That’s why it’s #1.

Further, neither reporter bothered at all with Kovach’s #3 element “[Journalism's] essence is discipline of verification.” This element is #3 for a reason. The word “essence” means “the choicest or most essential or most vital part of some idea or experience.” No journalistic essence here, no discipline of verification. Neither reporter attempted to verify elements of the story with regard to the playground company before publication. Had they done so, the inaccuracies of the early version of the stories would NEVER have made it to print, electronic or otherwise. It’s a damning testament to these reporters’ shoddy and lackadaisical work that those inaccurate references even had to be removed.

And finally, neither the Daily Herald nor KSL will be held accountable or responsible for these obvious attempts at sensationalist and revisionist journalism. They won’t be held accountable or responsible for misrepresenting the truth, maligning a school board member and a playground equipment company, and obtaining a sound bite recording without consent. They both silently cover up their filth by simply having it removed from public view. Any other professional organization that made such mistakes would be held accountable and responsible; perpetrators would resign in shame, the organization would apologize, it would be expected to implement procedures to keep such things from ever happening again.
But not the news media. They take us all for dupes and fools, and we let them do it.

Bill Kovach is right. We should expect more, much more, from journalists.

So now is a good time for me to point out my lessons learned. There were many, so I am going to stray from usual format.

1. Words can hurt even on accident. And to those who were unintentionally hurt by my words...again, my sincerest and humblest of apologies.
2. There is a fine line between the first amendment and morality.
3. It's okay to cry.
4. It's okay to cry in front of others.
5. My heart still hurts.
6. Story telling is going to be tainted for me from now on.
7. I'm a lot more emotional than I let on.
8. I'm going to have to dig deep to stay brave enough to let people in.
9. I'm not a quitter, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to tread more lightly.
10. I will be investing in duct tape for my mouth when I am in public forums.

Nothin' Says Swearin' Like Me in a Car

2009-11-19T15:05:00.006-07:00

I've spent quite a bit of time on the freeway the past several weeks and I thought I would share some insight as to what I've learned.

Before I begin I would just like to issue a disclaimer about:

1. I am a competent driver. Did I say good...no. Did I say bad...no. Competent. And don't call my dad. Period.

2. When I get really stressed my brain misfires and says all sorts of things it shouldn't. Don't worry this is a family blog and I'll keep it clean for the kids.

Ten Things I've Noticed While on the Freeway
1. Just because you are an idiot, doesn't mean you have to share it with the rest of us while you are in control of a potential killing machine. I don't care if you are an idiot and I don't want to know.

2. I have two middle fingers too, but that doesn't mean I need to show them to you. And even though you were sharing them with someone else, I didn't need to see them. Really...it just makes me refer to observation number 1...and yes you are an idiot. Keep your hands on the wheel.

3. Merge means-take turns and keep traffic flowing...NOT speed up in order to cut someone off and utilize observation number two which makes me think of observation number 1. You still look like an idiot.

4. You know those signs that talk about the double white line and not crossing them to get into the carpool lane. Yeah, those are there for a reason...and carrying a mannequin or cadaver does NOT qualify you for the carpool lane...I'm pretty sure you have to be breathing. And the dude from yesterday, that was going 2 miles under the speed limit to avoid getting noticed in the carpool lane...the picture of your girlfriend and/or wife doesn't qualify you either. That made ME want to utilize observation number 2 just because you ARE observation number 1.

5. When stuck in bumper to bumper, stand still, I should get out and walk traffic, please turn your radio down or roll your windows up. I understand that you spent a lot of money on those speakers that you only use during your commute...but making me listen to music I hate only reinforces observation number 1.

6. Do you remember when we were in grade school, okay kindergarten and we were learning how to do a dot-to-dot puzzle? The big orange barrels are the same. They form a line...not an obstacle course. Weaving when not drunk just scares the )**(^(**& out of competent drivers and points out that you are observation number 1.

7. Big trucks need to understand and re-affirm their own car body image. No one likes to be the fat friend...but when you are...and you are pushing me...that is rude...it is dangerous...and you stop being a friend and instead become a politically correct above average size vehicle endangering the lives of others. Look in a mirror...your freakin' truck should have plenty. You observation number 1.

8. Preparation is always a good thing. You know for like natural disasters, reports, vacations and getting on the off-ramp. Careening across all of the lanes because you were either (a) not paying attention (b) were paying attention but like to make a game out of driving on a congested highway or (c) are observation number 1 is stupid. Do you hear me? It is STUPID, unnecessary and dangerous. I kind of like breathing, I wanna keep doing it.

9. I have passed 2 upside down vehicles in less than 2 weeks. Those black rubber things on the bottom of your car are called tires, they go round and round. The top of your car is not conducive to moving from point a to point b. If you can avoid observations 1 through 9 you have a good chance of staying on your tires and getting where you need to go.

10. Finally...I am just as fond as the next guy, of hanging your hand out the window and 'going with the flow'. Keep your arm close to your car...think roller coaster keep arms inside the vehicle at all times. The guy that was trying to touch all of the cars that drove next to him...yeah...you are gonna miss your arm when it's gone.

Lessons Learned
1. I hate driving.
2. I hate driving on the freeway.
3. I drive way too much.
4. I should concentrate on my own driving and less on others and maybe I will move from competent to good.
5. Please don't call my dad and ask about my driving....please.

Your Other Right

2009-11-07T15:46:00.002-07:00

So like, we are at Walmart checking out at the self-checkout (by the way that is a whole 'nother story) waiting for the self-checkout Nazi to come and fix it AGAIN when Felix sees someone we know.

He says, "Hey, Larry is over to your right, I'm going to go and say hi!"

So I crane my neck to the left and managed to almost turn in a full circle looking for Larry, when in my dizzy-ing spin I am back to Felix and he says, "Ummmmmm, your other right."

Lessons Learned
1. Sadly, that really happened.
2. I didn't get it until I saw Felix again.
3. He was tempted to just let me spin in circles.
4. Can't say that I blame him.
5. You know what, I have a lot on my plate right now and the difference between left and right is NOT one of them.

Lights, Camera...OUCH!

2009-11-04T11:30:00.003-07:00

I don't know about the rest of ya, but we have a problem at my house. My lights cannot seem to get turned off. IT'S INSANE!!!!!!

So last night we had a little training session. We took a few minutes, showed the kids exactly how light switches worked. Once they understood the concept, we did some exercises to warm up and let Savannah have the first try.

She was so mad at us by that point she hit the switch to hard and jammed her finger.

Really.

Lessons Learned
1. More warm ups.
2. Less light bulbs.
3. More dark.
4. Less complaining.
5. More or less.